Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - Zerco

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 9
1
Approved Characters / Re: Valentine Bloodfang
« on: November 20, 2017, 01:11:23 PM »
Okay that should be everything now. The small changes I made were:

-Increased the Aura replenishment from 5% to 10%. (Same drawbacks, purely number change.)
-Added just a little bit more to what her relationship is with the guardian. (Late parents' secretary.)
-I liked the depression idea. It's a lot less severe but still works for me. I can relate much easier as well, so shouldn't be hard to roleplay. I included that to the personality section. (Also switched up the layout of the paragraphs so it flows better but its the same personality section.)

I think everything is done.

2
Approved Characters / Re: Valentine Bloodfang
« on: November 20, 2017, 04:14:29 AM »
1) Changed Valentine's parents' occupation to being the owner of an insurance company. I could have probably made it so that the criminals miraculously killed a huntsman and huntress in broad daylight, but that would be really unrealistic, so thank you for noticing that point. The only reason I made the parents be a huntsman and huntress was to give her some incentive to strive to be one as well.

2) Changes reverted to original state.

3) Removed the need to take medication. Frankly I did my research on the spinal cord injury, and I read that random twitching can be an after-effect of such injuries in areas that are affected. It does make more sense that if she completely loses the ability to control her body below her neck she wouldn't be suffering from that however.

4) This has been on my mind ever since I wrote her up. I decided to scrap the idea of having a mental illness, since frankly, I am not confident enough in my ability to do it well enough. I still think it would be interesting and fun, but I should get more experience with roleplaying in general before I attempt something so difficult.

5) I included a short one-liner that says that the government assigned a temporary guardian to her until she is 18. I might expand on this later today, but for now I don't have enough time, so this will suffice.

6) Removed ability to sustain herself through blood. Unfortunate. I wanted to stick with the vampire theme as much as possible. I realise that blood isn't easy to come by, but what I thought was possible is that the government would be able to provide her with blood. Since in RWBY a wide variety of faunus exists, there could  be more sanguivorous bat faunuses that inherited the blood drinking trait, so it would make sense that the government would have something in place to provide them with blood. (I should have written this down in the profile actually... xd)

7) Changes made to that part of the profile.

8 )
8a) Blood Clotting: I already specified that it would only work on herself, so I'll just make the part [Bold] where I said it.
8b) Blood Absorbtion: Changes made to that section as suggested. Can I buff the amount of aura restored by Blood Absorbtion by 5%, to a total of 10%?
8c) Blood Marionette: Balancing adjustments made as suggested.

9) Removed the food bit.

Thank you for the review Vision, don't worry about the delay. I'm a lot more patient normally, I just happened to be really bored with everything IRL for the past week, so that is why I might have come accross as impatient. I understand why it took so long to review Valentine, and I appreciate that you guys took the time to review my character in a way that would still allow me to play out the character how I wanted to. I am also completely fine with the changes, so no worries.

3
AMA Section / Re: Mecha's Amazing AMA Double Feature
« on: November 14, 2017, 10:52:06 AM »
What inanimate object do you wish you could eliminate from existence?

4
Approved Characters / Re: Valentine Bloodfang
« on: November 14, 2017, 05:57:28 AM »
I think the darkness of the Semblance is justified when you look at the Fall of Beacon and the Ren flashbacks. But yeah... I guess it's a rather subjective matter.

Really minor change: Changed Ruin's length from 3m to 2m. While it is indeed not ideal to use whips in close combat, a 2m whip is short enough to be of use in a close quarters fight. (Also added benefit of Ruin is that it somewhat acts as a chainsaw, so even then it should be effective enough to some degree.)

Thank you King. ^^

5
AMA Section / Re: What does your character's Semblance express?
« on: November 13, 2017, 04:12:12 PM »
Spoiler: show
Shiro and Blanc are waiting for my rework, so I'm pretty sure I'll be changing things, that's why I won't be talking about them. Valentine is waiting for approval but I'm certain most things will stay the same way, so I'll talk about her instead..


Valentine's Semblance was unlocked when her parents were killed in front of her by criminals. She suffered a psychotic break when she was unable to process the death of her family members, and  it was her brain's way of protecting her sanity. To a degree. She didn't want to believe her parents were dead so she made the corpses into Marionettes with her Semblance to trick herself.

Since her Semblance has to do with blood, it also symbolises that people are able to experience pain if you think of wounds, which ironically she is unable to feel anymore.

6
AMA Section / Re: Mecha's Amazing AMA Double Feature
« on: November 13, 2017, 01:23:24 PM »
What hobby would you get into if time and money werenít an issue?

7
Approved Characters / Re: Valentine Bloodfang
« on: November 13, 2017, 09:07:36 AM »
Valentine is also able to determine how healthy a person is based on their blood, this is thanks to the fact that her diet consists mainly of blood. She can sense the general health of a person when she tastes their blood, however she can confidently identify if someone has high blood glucose levels, if their kidney is not functioning properly or if they don't drink enough water.

Added this to her Personality section since when I came up with it I thought its a good idea.

8
WiP Characters / Re: Yin Bao
« on: November 12, 2017, 11:44:38 AM »
Okay this is more of a quality of life thing, but see the difference between the History and Weapons section? It would look a lot less daunting and easy on the eyes if you structured your History section into paragraphs.
Yes, I know the Weapons section has subheadings but, you get the point. ^^

Just a suggestion though.

9
Approved Characters / Re: Valentine Bloodfang
« on: November 12, 2017, 07:12:00 AM »
Changes were made. Hopefully now her illness is better explained.
Small changes were made to History section so it isn't inconsistent. (Getting shot by the police officer)
Included an explanation for no restrictions on using the Semblance on herself, which is under the "Facts" Spoiler tag.

As for the Semblance however, I haven't watched Hunter x Hunter yet, so I wasn't aware of Neferpitou's existence. I tried going on the wikipedia to get an understanding of what their power was, but I'm not sure what it is that makes it very similar. If I understand it correctly they can conjure dolls which Neferpitou can use?

10
Introductions, birthdays, and departures. / Re: Apologies and Greetings!
« on: November 11, 2017, 01:47:42 PM »
Update: So I decided to set up a Discord profile and will be joining the Discord Group Vision linked.

11
Approved Characters / Valentine Bloodfang
« on: November 11, 2017, 07:27:37 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Valentine Bloodfang

Age: 18 born on the 14th of Amare, 62AC.

Species and Gender: Sanguivorous Bat Faunus, Female

Symbol: A white bat symbol with a crimson coloured orb above it's head on a black background.

Theme:
Theme Music: Pandora Hearts -  Music Box
Battle Music: Cyanite - Waltz With Vampires

Occupation: First Year student at Beacon Academy.

Appearance: Valentine has a silver and curly hair which comes down to about shoulder height with dark purple ribbons as adornment on each side. Her eyes are crimson red in colour, and they have distinct diamond shaped pupils. Valentine is 5'3 tall, weights 108lbs and has really pale skin. She would look almost corpse-white if not for the slight red on her cheeks. As a sanguivorous bat faunus, she possesses two fangs that are clearly visible when she talks. Her breasts are rather underdeveloped for her age.  She can be seen in a wheelchair when she is at home or if her Aura depletes. When she does stand however, her stance is lady-like and confident, and she also gives off a mysterious, unnerving and eerie vibe. She wouldn't be surprised if she made someone suffer a heart attack if they saw her in a dark alley at night.

Her usual clothing consists of a dark purple dress, that stops just above her knees. The neck part of the dress has ruffles on it and so does the bottom of the dress. A light-purple line runs down the middle of the dress which is also decorated with ruffles on the side. The sleeves of the dress have dark purple ruffles on it as well, these match with her dark purple nail polish. Lastly, she wears dark purple shoes. She also has a coat for winter, when the weather is rather chilly.

Her uniform is as you would expect. There aren't any changes, really.
Spoiler: Face Claim • show


History: Valentine was born into a wealthy family as an only child. Her parents were strict and expected a lot from Valentine as they were one of the wealthier faunus families in the area. They were strict but at the same time they were really caring and they didn't throw a cold shoulder at her, they just expected great things from Valentine and she tried her hardest to live up to that.

Her parents were the owners of the biggest insurance company in Vale, so financially the family was set for a lifetime. Even though her parents wanted her to take inherit the business when they retire, her parents were convinced by her to let her train and become a huntress. At the age of ten she was already studying really hard to get into Signal Academy, even though you can only apply at the age of thirteen.
One unfortunate day, when her family was about to depart from home, unknown criminals barged into their mansion and killed both her parents in front of Valentine, and all she could do was watch in dread from the top of the staircase leading up to the second floor of the mansion. The criminals were going to finish her off, however the urging sound of the police grew louder and louder, so they ran from the scene before they could end her.
She called out to her parents in desperation as she ran towards their limp bodies, but they didn't reply. The white carpet of the Main Hall was stained with the ever-growing pool of vivid crimson blood that seeped from the bodies. She helplessly collapsed on her Mother's body, repeatedly calling her name, to no avail. She felt something sticky on her hands, and as her gaze averted from her Mother to her palms, she immediately understood what it was. Her hands were bloody, her clothes were bloody, her parents were bloody. At that point she also noticed the wounds all over her parents, that is when her mind shut down and went blank.

The next thing she knew is that she was in a hospital bed, with a doctor standing by her side. When Valentine regained enough strength to speak, she asked the doctor what happened. The doctor explained that what they were told was that when the police arrived at the scene, they found her unconsciously lying on the ground, and she suffered from a severe trauma to her neck. She almost died, but fortunately the Hospital she was carried to was able to perform a bone reconstruction surgery on her neck. Her spinal cord was damaged, and thus she can't move or feel her body neck-down but at least her neck is as good as ever.

That is not all of the story, which Valentine remembered soon after she recovered. When the police arrived at the mansion, they saw a girl, covered in blood, sitting on the now almost completely red carpet soaked in blood, talking to her parents. Her Mom and Dad were on their feet and looking at her, and as she noticed the police's presence from the sounds of boots on the floor, she and her parents turned towards them. The police officers were shocked by the sight of two fatally injured people casually standing there, and a girl who was sinisterly grinning at them. Soon they also realised that the two adults were not alive. They asked the girl what happened with her parents, but she replied: "There is nothing wrong with my parents Mister. Mom and Dad are perfectly fine! Look how lively they are!" as she giggled, then that turned into laughter which sent shivers down the police officers' spine. They had to stop this, so despite being shaking in fear, they tried restraining the parents. Valentine grabbed one of the police officers and screamed to let her Mom go, but the police officer unintentionally shoved her back while they were trying to restrain their targets. The impact knocked Valentine back and she fell right onto the first step of the stairs. She was unlucky enough to severely hurt her neck during the fall, and instantly lost consciousness.

When Valentine was told what happened to her spine, she tried to move but to her fear, she couldn't. The doctor explained that the spinal cord was severely damaged, so much so that there is little to no chance of recovery. The news shocked her so much that she blanked out for a few seconds before she finally reacted as she started crying.

The hospital kept her for 3 months before releasing her, and she was brought back to her mansion. They assigned a temporary guardian to watch over her - since her parents were deceased - until she turns 18. Her guardian is actually the personal secretary of her late parents' insurance company. She was in no condition to even dream of getting into Signal but she still kept on trying every day to get up, to move her hands and feet again. She spent her days concentrating extremely hard to move even one of her fingers, sleeping in her room or looking out of the enormous window next to her, watching as the clouds ran through the sky and disappeared in the horizon. She tried day after day to move her body once again, to no success.
After some time however, when she was doing her daily routine of trying to focus and train her mind to be able to move, she finally managed to move her fingers. It was just for a mere moment, and it was definitely not because of some miracle. She was finally getting a grasp on how to use her Semblance. As she had a lot of free time due to having to stay in bed the whole day, (except for when the maids helped her with number one and number two) she had plenty of time to get better at using the Semblance.

One and a half year passed. She was going to be twelve that year, just one year away from the start of the Signal enrolment exams. She trained day and night to be able to walk again, and to have the basic movements re-learned in her muscle memory for the past year. Well, technically it was more like re-training her brain to use her Semblance to move a part of her body when she think of doing so. The process was long, and she no doubt hurt herself quite a bit while doing so. Even though she can't feel pain anymore in her body below her neck, hitting your head in the floor when you land undoubtedly still hurts like hell. She recovered from her accident enough that she was able to attend the Signal Exams and barely pass thanks to the fact that academically she was so far ahead of everyone, so at least getting anchored to the bed actually paid off. This also allowed her to focus more on combat and to be able to have a chance at winning a fight.
She was also part of the student council during her time at Signal.

Now, after finishing Signal Academy with above average grades both in academical studies and combat, she was accepted into Beacon Academy for further training so that she can become a huntress. Of course, Beacon did obtain her medical records, so they knew she was disabled. Only the teachers that teach Valentine know about her condition. She will be attending Beacon in hopes of following the same career path as her parents and graduate as a fully fledged Huntress in hopes of being able to protect the innocent, so that the same tragedy does not happen to others as it did to her, and she will do anything to achieve this goal.

Personality: Valentine is a friendly person when you get to know her, however you wouldn't know at first glance. There is an eerie and misterious aura radiating from her. Even though she might be smiling, good observers might notice a slightly dark and malicious intent in her eyes. One might say her signature feature would be her stare, a hint of malice paired with a stare as sharp as a dagger even when she is smiling can send shivers down your spine. She can get along well with others, but acts cold and dismissive towards people who she doesn't like. She is quite intelligent and can read most people like a book by how they act and speak. She is refined and has good manners, as expected from someone who comes from a rich family. Valentine is also calm and collected most of the time and thinks before speaking. She is playful and likes to tease people, and also likes dark and morbid jokes.

She is disabled from her neck downwards, but thanks to her Semblance she can move around as if she wasn't.
Even though she can move her body with her Semblance, she still lost her ability to control her body like a normal person would be able to. This, on top of watching her parents get killed made her suffer from depression. She takes antidepressants twice a day to keep the negative thoughts at bay, and she can get quite moody after some time of not taking her medication.

She doesn't want to tell people that she is disabled and she tries to do everything to hide it. This is mainly because she doesnt want to seem like a burden or dead weight, since se can hold her ground just as well as others.
As she is disabled, she can't feel anything below her neck. This means that she doesn't notice if something is hot or if she gets injured. If she is unsure about something, she either won't do it or ask someone beforehand, as a safety measure. To make sure she is perfectly fine she has to check herself regularly and also checks her whole body every night before sleep so that she won't run the risk of an infection or anything serious like that. It is like a routine to her by now.
She has a wheelchair which she only uses when she is at home, if her Aura depletes or if she just woke up.

Her academic grades are good, she rarely gets a bad grade in class and she usually performs a little above average in terms of academic studies.

Valentine doesn't like sunlight, thanks to her bat faunus origins and she can get sunburned a lot sooner than other people, thanks to her pale skin. She prefers cold places that are not under direct sunlight. She also carries an umbrella because of this even in broad daylight, so that the sunlight doesn't damage her skin.
Valentine spends her free time drawing, drinking tea, going on a walk at a park or simply sleeping if the weather is too sunny. She also enjoys just walking through the city at night as its a lot darker than during the day.
Valentine is also able to determine how healthy a person is based on their blood. She can sense the general health of a person when she tastes their blood, but she can confidently identify if someone has high blood glucose levels or if their kidney is not functioning properly.


Beacon Academy prohibited the use of her Semblance to reanimate the dead in public unless specifically stated beforehand. She is aware that people might freak out when they see the Marionettes, and that it can cause a bad reputation to Beacon Academy. She looks at the Marionettes as tools however, not people. Her reasoning is that they no longer need their bodies anymore, so might as well be useful to her in one way or another. She doesn't mind what people think when they see the blood orb or the Marionettes and how that would affect her reputation. She might even throw a morbid remark or two at people about it if they mention the topic.

Aura and Semblance: Aura Color: Crimson
Aura: Valentine possesses an above average Aura pool. This is thanks to the fact that she trained hard to achieve relatively better Aura protection because she can't feel most of her body. Her regenerative capabilities through Aura are very limited.

Semblance: Sanguinarian Control - Valentine can control and manipulate blood cells and plasma. She is able to control blood that is either her own or blood which is not protected by an Aura. If she gets near blood that is not protected by Aura, for example if someone just bled out and left a pool behind, she can control it. Valentine collects blood from any source that she can find, and stores the blood in a floating orb which stays near her at all times.
(If her Aura depletes she can't perform actions with her Semblance.)

  • Blood Clotting - If Valentine concentrates for at least 20 seconds she is able to make her own blood start clotting on a wounded area. She can only do this on wounds that are minor wounds. Examples of this would be if she cuts her finger or gets cut with a weapon. She can't heal wounds that are more than one centimeter deep and the sped up regeneration causes her to tire out really fast, depending on the wound. Generally speaking, a scratch can be healed without issues, getting cut by a weapon causes minor fatigue and a one centimeter deep cut of the same size wound would significantly tire her out.
  • Blood Absorption - Due to her blood type being AB+, Valentine can mix her own blood with blood that is not hers without her immune system rejecting it, allowing her to replenish the amount of blood in her in case she is bleeding out and losing blood. Excess blood that she absorbs also causes her to restore a certain amount of Aura in the process. If the blood orb is at its maximum limit, Valentine can restore 10% of her maximum Aura, however, performing this action tires her out slightly. If used this way, blood absorbtion can't be used for another one hour to restore Aura due to exhaustion.
  • Blood Marionette - Valentine can make her limbs move as long as they have blood in them. This also lets her move while her body is paralysed. She can only control herself or bodies that are not able to generate an Aura. She is unable to control people who don't have an aura as they are able to counter act the effects with their muscles and nerves, so this only works on corpses. She loses this ability once her Aura depletes.

    Whenever she gathered enough blood in her blood orb, she can use it to reanimate a corpse for an extended period of time to fight for her. She can maintain control over the Marionette as long as she is conscious, however doing so tires her out. Controlling herself doesn't strain her at all. If she is controlling herself and one Marionette she will lose a significant portion of her own reaction time and concentration to do so and controlling two Marionettes means that her control of her own body will be very limited. She can control two corpses for a maximum of 50 seconds, and one for about 100 seconds.

    Controlling her own body with Blood Marionette doesn't have any drawbacks. This is because she trained for a long time to be able to use her Semblance consistently, so being able to move her body like this comes naturally to her.

Spoiler: Facts • show
The blood travels at a maximum speed of 50km/h. She can only conjure one blood orb at a time and this orb follows her wherever she goes. The orb canít go further away from her than a meter at maximum and it grows in size depending on how much blood Valentine is currently controlling. She can only control roughly 11 liters of blood that is stored in the orb. (The amount of blood in a person is equal to a maximum amount of 5.5 litres.)

She needs to focus to control the Marionettes, because of this she needs to move slower while she maintains control over the two. Marionettes can't dodge, parry or block attacks, they are only capable of simple movements, see: Zombies. They don't really have much power either, maybe as strong as a bare-fisted guy who doesn't know how to box.
The difference between moving her own body and controlling the Marionettes is that those are bodies which are not her own. Hypothetically speaking: If your consciousness was moved to another being's body which had extra body features like tails or wings you wouldn't be able to use them, or use them effectively. Controlling the Marionettes is somewhat similar. It's an foreign body that she has to control, so that is why she needs to concentrate on the Marionettes whereas controlling her own body comes naturally.

The maximum range she can control the Marionette is 20 meters maximum, point of origin is Valentine herself. Using blood to reanimate a corpse uses up the blood in the process, meaning she can't reanimate one corpse, let it 'die' so she can block an attack then quickly transfer the blood to another corpse.
She can only use fresh blood to reanimate corpses, so if she tried using blood that has been used to reanimate a corpse, there would be no oxygenated blood cells left to power the muscles to move.


The Semblanceís main weakness is that if the enemy can get rid of the blood orb it renders Valentineís Semblance useless, and potentially can neutralise Valentine too. This can be achieved by focusing the blood orb whenever there is an opportunity. Easiest way of dealing with Valentine's Semblance is damaging the blood orb instead of her (Assuming they have a weapon that can damage blood cells) as the orb can't dodge attacks, it floats next to Valentine at all times and only moves if Valentine does too or when she commands the orb to move. Still the easiest target would be the orb as it's way slower than Valentine.

Combat Behavior: Valentine is adept at short to mid-ranged combat.
Paralysing her is impossible as it only affects the central nervous system but because she can control her own blood it also means that she can just make her limbs move while paralysed.

If an enemy comes close to her she will use her dual whips to engage in combat.
She is capable of fighting in close combat with her whips but she prefers to use her Semblance when her Aura is still relatively healthy. Thanks to this she only uses her whips when the enemy gets close to her or if she is getting nowhere with using her Semblance. Another thing to note is that corpses are hard to come by obviously, because you need dead people for that. If there are no corpses nearby, she will just fight normally without the use of her Semblance. She will use the corpses as distraction and meat shields in a fight.

If there are no corpses to use her Semblance on, or if her Aura is low she would keep her distance so she can attack the target from mid-range using Pain, but if they get close she would use Ruin to fend them off. She could use the whips to disarm the enemy by coiling the whips around the weapon or wrist of the enemy and suddenly pulling, this would most likely result in sending the weapon flying or at least throwing the enemy off balance.

Pros:
-Provides good support in short to mid-range combat.
-Is able to create up to two additional "Body Guards" to join the fray.
-Great offensive capabilities.
-Immunity to paralysing poisons and pain.
-Can disarm enemies relatively easily by using her whip if they don't anticipate it.

Cons:
-Struggles in close quarters as she can only rely on her chainsaw whip.
-Low mobility when using her Semblance, this makes her an easy target.
-Her weapons can be rendered useless for a significant duration if they get wrapped around an object.
-If her Aura goes down she can't move.

WEAPONS

Name: Pain & Ruin

Primary Form: A dark purple umbrella with crimson marks on it. The umbrella makes use of an ultra-light polymer layer that protects Valentine from the rain and sunlight.

Secondary Form: The umbrella can be split in half after closing it, the beams stack together and along with the handle they become flexible. Small blades extend from the weapons. The two parts each form a whip, one is a shorter one with a chainsaw mechanism and the other one is a longer one with a lot of blades.
The longer one is called Pain. It is a 5m long whip, not so good for close combat but a lot better for mid-range combat. Blades come out in every direction on the whip.
The shorter one is called Ruin. It is a 2m long weapon which makes it ideal for close ranged combat. It also has a chainsaw mechanism where the blades move up and down in a circular motion on the weapon.

Dust Functions: Pain can be infused with electric dust to have electrical attacks when hitting a target and Ruin can be infused with fire dust to make the moving blades lightly catch on fire.

History: She made this during her time at Signal Academy along with her canisters to protect her from the heat of the sun as well as to inflict pain and wounds on enemies. These whips were designed to tear up flesh so that she can have a ready supply of blood from her enemies.

GADGET

Name: Blood Canisters

Primary Form: A silver coloured canister with a glass line running down the middle that holds blood in it. She carries 3 canisters on her almost all the time. These relataively small capsules act as readily available blood for Valentine to use for various things with her Semblance.

History: She made this during her time at Signal Academy along with her weapon so she can have blood ready for her Semblance.

12
WiP Characters / Re: Yin Bao
« on: November 10, 2017, 04:19:26 PM »
Welcome to the site Grimlock!

All I wanted to add to Kingnoname1's suggestions was that it would also be a good idea to take your time with writing the History section. As it is currently, it rushes through everything that has happened to Yin, it lacks structure and flow. (Says the one who finds these things difficulty personally I know haHAA) It looks like you didn't take enough time to think it through, which can cause problems for the character interracting with others later.

This is just a quality of life suggestion, it makes it easier for everybody to understand and most importantly, it allows you to think about what happened to him when he was a child a little more. This would help you greatly with writing a History that makes perfect sense.

EDIT: I recommend looking at already approved characters to get a better idea of what the moderators expect your character sheet to have in terms of depth. You can read them if you click the "Approved Characters" section from the main board of the site.

13
Introductions, birthdays, and departures. / Re: Apologies and Greetings!
« on: November 09, 2017, 06:32:44 PM »
Oh wow you guys been working hard on this for a while now huh? So much data, neatly organised and all. Jesus! ;D Really interesting!
Also, my old characters?

14
Introductions, birthdays, and departures. / Re: Apologies and Greetings!
« on: November 09, 2017, 05:38:04 PM »
Well, yes, you could say that. More or less. ^^

15
Introductions, birthdays, and departures. / Re: Apologies and Greetings!
« on: November 09, 2017, 05:35:25 PM »
Nice to meet you too, Riven! Thank you for the warm welcome. The action banners look GORGEOUS! I'll also keep the two characters for hire in mind. :D

PS; I really liked the muffin. :3

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 9