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Messages - Skylia

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Character Creation / Re: Declan Davitt
« on: April 20, 2017, 12:56:39 PM »
What the fuck? I thought this boyo ascended to heaven to become a sacred meme. I do not approve of this. Absolutely positively 100% denied.

Approved Characters / Re: Razzmatazz Gele
« on: April 18, 2017, 11:47:48 AM »
Spoiler: pre-edit • show

Name: Razzmatazz Gele

Theme: StylipS - Study x Study
Age: 17
Species and Gender: Male Human

Occupation: First year (?) Student at Beacon
Appearance: Razz stands at 165 cm in height, weighing 61 kg, with a decent bit of muscle definition, though not too much, as he relies more on agility for fighting.
Razzmatazz has bright green eyes and close-cut, pink hair. Razz usually has an earring in his left ear, varying from a simple metal studs to hoops encrusted with jewels, a gift from his cousin.
Razz speaks with a slightly high-pitched, almost feminine sounding voice, along with his looks making it hard for some to take him all that seriously.
Along with his school uniform, Razz has two outfits he regularly wears.
The first is his casual attire, consisting of a white tank top, bright pink zip-up leather jacket, plain white pants and pink sneakers. On sunnier days he might accessorize with pink-tinted sunglasses in white frames.
His combat attire consists of a pink breastplate over a white shirt, a white cloak with his symbol flowing behind him. He wears pink pads over his shoulders and knees, and has pink leather vambraces with little metal studs on them. He wears the same pants and shoes as he does normally, and has a strap on his thigh for Rozhe Orchideya.
History: Razzmatazz was born and raised in Vale, his mother, Viola Bloom, a shopkeeper and his father, Brim Gele, a mercenary huntsman. From a very young age, his parents tried to keep him off the path of any sort of violence, hoping for him to become a regular inhabitant of Vale like his mother, nowhere near the dangers of being a huntsman.
And yet the boy admired his father greatly, considering those who fought the grimm to be heroes. Despite his parents' initial objections, Razz joined Signal academy, where he crafted Rozhe Orchideya and studied for four years.
His father went missing during Razz' third year of study, and is currently presumed dead by most, including his mother Viola. Despite this, Razz still believes his father is alive somewhere, though the odds are heavily against that.
Upon finishing his studies at Signal, Razz transferred to Beacon with somewhat outstanding results in combat tests, while just barely passing for sufficient academical scores. He now hopes to finish Beacon, become a huntsman himself and find his father, as he wishes to see him proud of his son.
Personality: Razzmatazz is a very outgoing, chirpy individual. He tries to limit infighting and arguing to a minimum, opting to be friends with everyone he meets.
He doesn't have too many inhibitions as such, almost seeming shameless at times.
Razz might even seem childish at times, even convincingly enough to pass as younger than he is, his voice and soft-ish facial features being of help in that regard.
He sometimes gets a bit upset when he isn't taken as seriously as he would like. But, while he might give a pout and a scoff, he still doesn't hold a grudge on anyone. He's practically incapable of doing so.
Aura and Semblance: Razz has an average-strength, bright-pink aura that doesn't really ever change much in color. It can sometimes be seen when he uses his semblance to a greater extent.
Razz' semblance is light manipulation and illusion: He is capable of creating various illusionary shapes and symbols around himself to serve as a distraction, or even entertainment to onlookers. He can keep such a show up for a couple of minutes when not putting too much energy into it, but if he were to use enough energy, he could completely disorient his opponents with his show in an instant, but it would cost him most of his aura.

Combat Behavior: Razz likes to fight most things pretty much head-on, but opting for lots of dodging and weaving around. He mostly uses Rozhe Orchideya in its blade form, trying to do as much damage to the target as possible before attempting a full takedown, since the last thing he wants is to be stuck with an angry grimm that didn't die.
When it comes to fighting people, he tries to avoid it as much as possible, but when it comes to that, he prefers to not harm them too much. If he's uncertain of how much aura his opponent has to speak of, he'll use the blunt side of his weapon just in case.
When it comes to ranged combat, he usually tries to do it from as far away as possible. His weapon has plenty of reach with regular bullets, after all. But when it comes to defense of some sort, meeting the opponent with firepower is a good idea in his books.
Name: Rozhe Orchideya
Primary Form: A pink metal bat, 60 cm in length and 8 cm in diameter. There isn't much to it, except for tiny, yet noticeable latches around it. Essentially, a storage form for the weapon.
Secondary Form: Once swung with enough force, the weapon transforms, the latches disconnecting and parts of the bat sliding down along a hollow metal tube previously hidden inside the weapon. The parts that slid down the tube form a cross-guard at the bottom. On the side of the tube facing away from the wielder, a blade extends from the pommel, reaching 80 cm in total length.Dust-filled cartridges can be inserted into the tube to empower the blade. From the bottom of the pommel, a button now protrudes out.
The weapon can be transformed back into it's primary form by applying upwards force on the cross-guard, sliding it back into place. As this is done, the rest of the weapon returns to its previous state as well.
Tertiary Form: Upon pressing the button at the bottom of the pommel, the weapon transforms into its tertiary form. The metal tube extends further, past the blade, forming a barrel a meter in length. The cross-guard shifts to the side and a trigger props out of it, while the pommel of the weapon transforms slightly to form the butt of the now-rifle. A small hatch now forms where the tube previously connected to the cross-guard, allowing the wielder to insert bullets or dust cartridges.
By grasping the butt of the rifle and swinging the weapon, it transforms back into its sword-like state, similarly to how it transforms from it's primary form to its secondary.
Dust Functions: In its secondary form, dust cartridges can be placed into the tube to give the blade various powers. Razz most often uses fire-based dust for this, though he sometimes uses ice as well.
In its tertiary form, dust functions similarly, launching bursts of energy from the dust at the opponent, the size of the cartridges Razz uses allowing for about 6 shots per cartridge. While powerful, dust isn't as accurate as a regular bullet over long distances.
History: Razz made the very basis of Rozhe Orchideya during his first year in Signal, calling it simply 'Rozhe' at the time. The weapon was functionally no more than a club. During the second half of the year, he started work on adding a blade to the weapon, initially making a collapsible dagger. He assembled the weapon piece by piece as time went on, and on his third year of study at Signal, after his father went missing, he finished it with the addition of the tertiary form, calling it 'Rozhe Orchideya', after his grandmother, Orchid Gele.

The Vale Region / Re: The Legendary Alliance [ALIA] [Closed]
« on: March 20, 2017, 06:41:40 PM »
Maintaining a good pace, Lucina would attempt to keep up with her teammates as they walked through the snow-covered forest. Despite slowly getting colder, she was doing pretty well for herself, considering it's been a social mission so far. Although, when the time would come, Lucina would be ready to beat up those pesky Grimm or idiots who would attack three "powerful" huntresses-in-training. Still walking, Lucina would try and keep the conversation alive and well, considering the walk would be pretty awkward otherwise.

"I could beat people up in a video game while in class, I guess. But that's no fun compared to this shit!" Not really having anything to bring up other than a comment on Isabelle's previous dialogue, Lucina would kind of kill the thing she intended to keep alive.

WiP Characters / Re: Momo Matsumoto
« on: March 12, 2017, 06:26:55 PM »
Look, bub. I genuinely don't see why you ask for advice and say you've received no recommendations when you most definitely have. Just...make the appropriate changes instead of actually doing nothing or ADDING things that had nothing to do with what people are saying. You received the "hurtful things" due to the sheer amount of annoyance you've caused the staff. As someone who has been in your position and has greatly progressed: listen to advice, don't blatantly lie, and don't play the victim card. You're only digging your own grave when you do this shit. Honestly, we can all be nice and give good criticism, but it's extremely infuriating when our advice isn't even heeded. So, why waste the time? I can only hope you actually take this advice instead of complaining or reporting this (that won't get you anywhere anyways).

Approved Characters / Re: Juno Vert
« on: February 23, 2017, 12:38:43 PM »

Approved Characters / Re: Juno Vert
« on: February 22, 2017, 12:03:53 PM »
Spoiler: show

Name: Juno Vert

Age: 19. Born: Machlud, 28, 60 AC

Species and Gender:Male Human

Symbol: A purple, highly angular capital "J"

Occupation: First Year student at Beacon

Appearance: Juno is a solidly built young man. He stands at 5'10” and weighs at 162 lbs, with quite a bit of muscle built from years of training to counter his lack of a semblance. He has a light tan as well as long, messy green hair that goes down to the small of his back. His eyes are a striking shade of purple. All along his chest, shoulders, and upper back are a thin network of circuitry scars, the result of an accident while testing the ANUBIS suit.

His casual clothing often consists of a purple t-shirt underneath a black and green hoodie bearing his insignia on his right shoulder and back in purple, as well as a pair of cargo pants with a similar color scheme to his hoodie. Despite this being his casual attire, he still often wears the soft layer of his suit. He is also known to wear the lower half of the suit along with a waist cape, and a sleeveless shirt on top. Combat attire consists solely of the ANUBIS suit, as well as a slitted waist cape bearing his symbol. In school, he wears the standard Beacon uniform.

Phi often projects herself as a small, cerulean girl with chin length hair, clad in her own version of the suit's soft layer.



History: Juno was the only child born to a middle class family in Atlas. From an early age, he had developed an interest in the exploits of Huntsmen and Huntresses, deciding that he wanted to become one himself. Unfortunately, there was one stumbling block that stopped him at every turn.

He had yet to discover his semblance.

This severe disadvantage caused him to struggle to keep up with other students, frustrating him to no end. No matter what he did, he couldn’t catch up. Desperate for a solution, Juno searched for other ways to enhance his combat prowess, starting with a longer ranged weapon. However, his family was faced with misfortune. Juno’s father was laid off, leaving his family hard pressed for money. This, among other things, meant that he couldn’t get parts for a new weapon.

In the face of this misfortune Juno decided to check the junkyard. He was pretty good at tinkering. Maybe he could find a few damaged or discarded weapons and fix them, or use parts from them to make something new. The first day he looked, all he found (that was relatively intact) was a jammed Designated Marksman Rifle, which he took back home and repaired at his combat school. Unfortunately, adding the rifle to his arsenal was not enough, so he returned to the junkyard several days later… And found nothing. This rotten luck would continue for weeks.

Then, on one of his trips to the scrapyard, he heard a voice. She was faint, barely above a whisper, but it was clear she was in pain and despair. Juno took a moment to consider what he should do. It was clear his shit luck was likely to persist, so the boy threw caution and worries of lifelong imprisonment to the wind, and began his search.

Scouring the industrial district of Atlas eventually led him to a small, but substantially guarded facility. Electric fence, security drones, armed human guards... how was he going to get in? He was barely a huntsman in training, what could he do?

Apparently, breaking into a secure facility through the help of hard work, determination, tactical thinking, and a gun was a lot less impossible as it seemed.

However, there was no girl. The voice was coming from a chip with an integrated speaker. Seeing as how he had gone this far past the law to rescue... whatever this chip was, Juno stole it.

Her name was Phi. Supposedly, the chip contained her soul, taken by a shard of a weapon from an alternate timeline. Most of this went over Juno's head, as alternate realities and timelines were but theories. So he stopped her, and asked what her purpose was. The girl... AI... soul in a jar had been developed in a behind the black project that didn't exist on record by the name of SET. Her directive was to monitor and operate a suit of powered armor with the ability to create weapons. This suit, named ANUBIS by the scientists behind the project, was guarded in a facility close to where Phi had been housed. If Juno were to progress in his studies, the suit would definitely provide a helpful edge.

The facility that ANUBIS was held in was more heavily guarded than the first, likely in response to losing Phi. However, Phi knew the facility, assisting Juno in getting to the suit with only a few hiccups regarding loose air vents and obstructive interns. However, neither of them knew how to sneak the suit out of the facility. It was too heavy to bag, and there was no point in just leaving.

So he put it on.

Thanks to the suit, it was easer getting out than it was getting in. While Phi needed a few minutes to get everything properly running, the suit's motion tracker proved invaluable to their escape. However, not a week after the successful heist, Juno and Phi got a message from the team behind SET.

To a Juno Osiris Vert and Aphelion,

We know who you are, and we know what you did. We are not happy with what happened to our work. However, we cannot bring you in, as that will raise questions about Aphelion that the Atlesian government is not ready to answer. We will not pursue you for the crimes you have committed against us. But take heed: do anything like this again, and we will not hesitate to have you imprisoned for life, no matter the cost to ourselves.

They were in the clear. Mostly.

Unfortunately, Juno did not know how to use the suit when he finished fixing it, leading to several failed combat exercises, a painful overheating accident that left him scarred across his chest, back, and shoulders, and more frustration on Juno’s part. He continued to have difficulties in using the suit, eventually asking Phi for help. The AI agreed, offering to train Juno in utilizing the suit. Let it be said that Phi is not the best teacher. She often treated their training sessions like a game, as well as giving rather cryptic advice. However, after several months of practice, Juno eventually got the hang of using the suit, and was able to keep up with his fellow students, despite his lack of a semblance.

He eventually graduated from his combat school and applied to Beacon, where he was accepted and continued to pursue his goal of becoming a Huntsman. As for why he wishes to be a Huntsman? He wants to prove that his lack of a semblance does not hinder him in the slightest, and that he can be as powerful and efficient as the next Huntsman or Huntress.

Personality: Juno is a determined individual, refusing failure unless pushed to his absolute limit. If there is a problem, he will think his way around it. If that doesn’t work, he will tear his way through it. And if he can't, he will regard himself as a failure until the next opportunity arises and he attempts redemption. However, such determination has and will give into obsession, which will in turn lead to him taking great risks in order to get that much closer to success. He does not take failure well.

He is also very patient and caring, often treating those he is close with as he would a younger sibling, whether they appreciate it or not. This often results in him seeing a need to protect his allies, as well as expressing immense worry when they sustain injuries.

Phi, on the other hand is childish, sassy, and blunt, often being innocently insensitive and saying what nobody wanted to hear, simply because she didn't know any better. She is not usually one for interaction with humans, but will speak up if she feels necessary.

Aura and Semblance: Since Juno lacks a Semblance, he had initially focused less on Aura training than other fields of combat. However, since enrolling in Beacon, he has learned to better control his Aura management and use, allowing him to capitalize on his defensive capabilities and take a considerable amount of damage before his aura fell into the red. Said Aura manifests itself as a crackling purple field around him.

Being a soul in a jar, Phi also carries with herself an Aura, a crackling blue field that often comes with her avatar in times of stress.

Combat Behavior: Juno hits rather hard in hand-to-hand combat, a fact that is somewhat bolstered with the ANUBIS suit. He is moderately agile as well, and can play defense somewhat effectively. The ANUBIS suit’s weapon constructs are a large advantage, though his lack of a semblance could be a significant hinderance.

When facing off against a single opponent, Juno starts off each fight testing the waters of his opponent and figuring them out. Once done with that, he moves into melee range to ruthlessly pick his opponent apart, utilizing his suit's constructs or his rifle to fit whatever situation he deems appropriate.

When faced with more than one opponent at a time, he forgoes testing the waters, and instead attempts to tear through his opposition as efficiently as he can, dashing in and out of combat with brutal combos, often switching through weapons on the fly. A pair of swords, a sword paired with a grappling dart for mobility, or a sword and shield will see the most use here.

Whilst with a team, he will attempt to orchestrate strikes and combinations, doing his best to cover up their weaknesses and playing to their strengths. Though he is capable of noting weaknesses in the opposition and coming up with tactics on the fly, his unwillingness to accept failure will result in less thought out strikes being orchestrated in desperation and frustration.

It should be noted that Juno does not specialize in any specific ability, instead opting for balance in combat and a variety of skills. However, his refusal to specialize leaves him outclassed by those who do. He can be outsped, outpowered, walled out, and so on.


Name: Mk-04 ANUBIS class powered armor

Primary Form: A suit of powered armor, built by SET: Special Enhancement Technologies, a subset of Atlesian R&D. The actual suit itself consists of two layers. The first layer, also known as the “soft layer”, is predominantly kevlar and circuitry. The second layer, or hard layer, is made mostly of titanium. The hard layer does not cover most of his midsection, and he does not wear a helmet. However, the suit weighs roughly 120 lbs. To compensate for this, the suit utilizes a hydraulic dampening system to lessen the pressure and weight put on his body, allowing him to move comfortably on the battlefield. However, the suit does not enhance his movement speed or strength in any way. The ANUBIS suit is powered by a rechargeable dust-based power cell, which is capable of keep the suit running for up to six hours straight on a full charge. The power cell is placed on an armored case on his right leg, and he can carry up to six of them at one time.

This suit carries a collapseable tower shield, which is constructed of lightweight, yet highly durable materials and acts as a shoulder plate when not in use. However, the suit's main draw is the dust-based hardlight generator mounted on the small of his back. This generator is able to create weapon constructs from pre-fabricated templates. Due to the complexity of the process of template creation, as well as the immense amount of storage that each file takes up, Juno currently has three constructs he can use in combat. Said constructs are a 4-foot double edged broadsword, a razor sharp disk with a diameter of ten inches, and a grappling dart and line. These constructs can only be created within the direct vicinity of the suit, but have a range of 150 feet before they cease to be maintained by the generator. Juno can utilize five constructs at a time, in any combination. Each construct can exist for five minutes at a time before they begin to deconstruct, and can be deconstructed at will. However, a ten second cool down between deconstruction of one construct and the construction of another is required for the system to refresh.

Phi monitors the suit's hardlight generator and constructs, allowing Juno to use them. She also runs checkups on the suit to ensure that it is working effectively, and assists in running the suit's heads up display, found on a visor linked to the suit that marks Juno's Aura, the Aura of those around him, and any problems that the suit may be facing. The visor is of a light green color and is made of polycarbonate, adding a bit of protection of the face from small arms fire. The Suit will lock all weapon systems without Phi present, so if she were to ever be removed from the suit, the major draw of the armor would be gone.

Known Constructs:
Double-edged Broadsword
Grappling Dart and Line
Razor Disk

Secondary Form: N/A

Tertiary Form: N/A

Dust Functions: The ANUBIS suit utilizes rechargeable electricity dust based power cells for suit functions and the hardlight generator. These keep the suit and generator running for up to six hours on a full charge. Juno carries six.

History: Juno stole the suit, as well as Phi, from the developers of SET. Due to the project technically not existing, they were not pursued after the heist, but the scientists behind the project try to keep a watchful eye.


Name: A-96 Dust-based Marksman Rifle. More often known as the DMR

Primary Form: An Atlesian military grade Energy Marksman Rifle built for mid to long range combat. Utilizing a rechargeable dust based power cell not unlike the ones Juno carries for the suit, this weapon fires a three shot burst of purple energy rounds and glows with a faint purple light.

Secondary Form: N/A

Tertiary Form: N/A

Dust Functions: The weapon is powered by dust, though the type of dust used does not influence performance.

History: Juno found this discarded weapon at the junkyard. He repaired it for use to help him during combat studies.


Vehicle: A Mistrali Motorworks Sprinter 12-C. A rear wheel drive mid engined sports car that Juno probably should not have convinced his parents to help him buy. He drives it to most places he needs to be in Vale and Vacuo, though he has gone out on joyrides before.

(Transfer of Juno Vert)

The Vale Region / Re: The Legendary Alliance [ALIA] [Closed]
« on: February 10, 2017, 05:28:57 PM »
As the trio entered into the forest, Lucina would gaze upwards at the tops of the dead trees. Cringing at the thought of having some of the snow on the fragile branches above dumped on her head, Lucina would try and keep her posture while moving forward. Also noticing that it suddenly became pretty dim, she would make sure to keep her flashlight handy, although they probably wouldn't need it due to Isabelle's [dirty] Faunus abilities. Having a [dirty] Faunus leader did, after all, have its perks.

Hearing what Isabelle and Ayaka said, Lucina would retort by saying "Even if it's not as bad as this, you still have to venture through a bunch of creepy shit to get there. But if the village is as creepy, it's probably full of Iron." Previously cringing at the thought of snow, Lucina now shivered at the thought of...Iron. As she thought of how weird Iron was, she also remembered that he was supposed to be here. Kind of wanting to see what her team thought of his lack of appearance, Lucina would inquisitively say "As much as I hate to say it, I kind of wish we had all of our team here, ya know?"

Approved Characters / Re: Miziren Starminer
« on: January 22, 2017, 11:01:33 AM »
Someone who has clearly read the character template, knows how to balance a semblance, and can write a character that is both interesting in minimally edgy? I like it. It would seem that JJ really covered the only things that could be seen as problematic, so you're all good now. Again, commendable work!

Approved (2/2).

The Vale Region / Re: The Legendary Alliance [ALIA] [Closed]
« on: January 16, 2017, 08:30:46 PM »
Seeing as Isabelle wanted to move away from the insults to fashion, Lucina had decided it would be best to leave it be, despite how much she may be annoyed at Ayaka. Also noticing that Isabelle had been studying something on her scroll, Lucina would quickly ask Isabelle "What'cha studying there, Belle? Anything cool?", before starting to begin her walk in the cold outdoors.

Making sure that she would be perfectly comfortable for the walk, Lucina would quickly stop for a second to check herself. She would make sure to pull her stylish af beanie over her ears, and zip up her poofy jacket all the way. Almost forgetting the stylish glove she threw in her pocket, she would also quickly slide them onto her rapidly freezing fingers. Nodding to nobody at all to affirm her readiness, she would pick up Hunter II only to continue the walk through the snow covered way ahead.

MiA Characters / Re: Andrew Maxwell
« on: January 06, 2017, 06:45:30 AM »
Just two things I'd like to make note of real fast:

1. Bumping isn't really necessary at all. Most of us know what characters need to be reviewed, but some profiles require a more in depth review that naturally just takes longer. So yeah, no need to bump.

2. Before someone makes fun of you, it's not spelled as "Fuanus". It's "Faunus", as in Faun.

Just a quick little intrusion. Continue on, NS.

The Vale Region / Re: The Legendary Alliance [ALIA] [Closed]
« on: December 30, 2016, 04:17:58 PM »
As Lucina paced on the ship due to boredom, she would hear the shots fired by Ayaka. Quickly retorting, she would very pretentiously say "Well, the fashionable thingy seems like the warmer one I win!". Despite nobody announcing any type of contest, Lucina had won against all odds.

Now smiling at her totally shit comeback, Lucina would victoriously gaze upon her own attire, noting the clear superiority. Sporting a wine colored puffy jacket with her usual attire under it, a heftier [yet still lovely] pair of boots, and an appropriately colored beanie, Lucina knew she was ready to take on anything that the world threw at her. Adding in a quick comment before anyone else could speak, Lucina would glance towards Isabelle saying "Our leader knew how to dress, right Belle?".

MiA Characters / Re: Rouge Drake
« on: December 29, 2016, 01:32:16 PM »
Alright my guy, we have a lot to discuss here, so I'd rather not occupy your time with opening statements.

Name: Starting with the Name section, you gave him the title of "the black warrior". While just sounding...rather bland in itself, you also gave no indication of why he would be called that. Neither in his History, his Personality, etc. Nobody knows who he is, and he's not a celebrity to the point where strangers would whisper about "the black warrior". Remember, if you're going to give him a title, make sure it's justified. I'll quote the rules as a reference for you.

Aliases and Titles: Consider giving your character an alias or title very carefully. If they have one, you need to explain who calls you that, and why they call you that. Or perhaps it is a self-imposed title. If your character is called “The Black Knight” for no reason other than to be cool, dark and/or edgy, you don’t get to have that title on your profile.

Age: Feel free to add in a specific date of birth if you'd like.

Species and Gender: You have to indicate what type of Faunus you're going for. Although, I do kind of get that you want him to be a "dragon Faunus". Mythical Faunus are not allowed, just for reference.

Prohibited Base Animal Types: Arthropods, Molluscs, Aquatic, Amphibian, Dinosaurs(Along with anything extinct for more than 200 years), Mythological creatures

Symbol: For the symbol, please just change "trex" to T-rex" to prevent some confusion.

Occupation: For the occupation, please clarify what you mean by "ranger". It can be interpreted to be a few things as it is.

Appearance: Continuing on to the appearance, mythical Faunus aren't allowed as aforementioned. Everything is fine except for the dragon tail.

History: I really hate to be blunt, but I'd rather not make a bunch of redundant points. This is the worst type of history, purely because you use amnesia as an excuse to not explain anything at all. You stated one event in his life, and that's not what a history is there to do. I get that you're trying to be mysterious, but you needn't be mysterious in the profile. People aren't going to read his profile and meta-game knowledge into their character's minds. Give us what happened in his childhood before his schooling days (if he's a student, which there's no indication of so I can assume no), important events in his life, etc. But please get rid of the amnesia and write an actual history. Right now it just seems like a lazy excuse for a history. Again, sorry to be so blunt, but I think it's necessary to get the point across that it needs to really be thought out.

Personality: This also does not give anybody reading the profile adequate information in regards to his personality. Here again, I understand you're going for the whole "mysterious" facade, and this isn't the place for that. Give us insight into his mannerisms, things he'd do. I'm also able to glean very little information from what you did give. Please go more in depth about these things. For instance, why is he so protective? What is he easily angered by? Because from what I understand right now, is that he's an easily angered quiet guy who is protective of ___.

Aura and Semblance: Look, I understand you want a cool semblance. Many do, but this is just taking it a bit too far. First of all, this has nothing to do with aura. He's changing his physical form into that of a "were-dragon" and a "kaprosuchus", both of which easily fall under the category of "Obviously Overpowered Abilities" in the rules. You also did not give any setbacks this ability has on him, but just simply stated that he can transform.

Combat Behavior: Okay, he's a swift attacker who likes to confuse his enemies, that's fine. But with the combination of weapons you gave him, that makes it extremely difficult when you have skinny girls with bows running around who can do the same thing 10x better. I'd suggest giving him a fighting style attuned to his weapons. Moving on to the second part of this, this second technique isn't really a...technique at all. It's actually the exact opposite, as he's resorting to animalistic instincts and is just hitting shit with no planning or training needed for this.

Weapon Please try and go more in depth here. You're just stating forms and not even describing appearance, proportions, how they transform, etc. All of this should be present for any named weapon, and even for unnamed ones as well. Again, there's no need to be mysterious about any of this.

Dust Functions: Try and explain what each dust type does, exactly. The section is titled Dust "Functions", after all.

History: While I understand it's only a weapon history, please try and put some more into it. A simple "he found it and is grateful that he did" just seems like minimal effort was put into it.

To put it simply, this profile will require a lot of effort if you're up for it. If you have ANY questions, you can feel free to discuss them with me through PMs or on our IRC channel. We'r not just here to be the mean bouncers who let people in and keep them out. We're also here to help you through the process if you need it.

Approved Characters / Re: Oni Shoji
« on: December 26, 2016, 04:41:20 PM »
Good, good. Approved (1/2).

Approved Characters / Re: Oni Shoji
« on: December 24, 2016, 05:34:33 PM »
Alright, but the weaknesses of the semblance kind of outnumber the strengths here, just to inform you in case you didn't know. I'd also like you to make it very clear that it doesn't affect others, as people who skim might miss that crucial point. Other than that, I have no more problems with it.

Approved Characters / Re: Ruston "Rusty" Trystman
« on: December 24, 2016, 04:54:58 PM »
Great, I don't have any other problems. Approved (1/2).

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