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Messages - Glow

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1
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: May 19, 2017, 08:37:12 PM »
Walking towards the kitchen, Samuel heard faint voices approaching the room's entrance before keys were pushed into the lock. Wincing slightly - he didn't particularly want to deal with anyone right now - he instead went straight into the kitchen. Opening a cabinet with a chain, he fiddled around within as the two others entered the room, mumbling a vague greeting as he searched for his satchels he used in the coffee maker. Finding the packaging, he pulled it out, and took a glance inside. One milk packet and no coffee to go with it. Sighing, he put it back in, reaching down into a drawer to take out some coffee powder and make it himself. Not quite as nice, but better than noth-

Aaand empty again.

"For fuck's sake..." The faunus murmured quietly to himself, pushing the drawer closed with a little more force than necessary and quickly passing Verdant who had come in to grab the ingredients without a passing glance. He had some quality beans that he was saving, but they were kinda pricy. He needed some of the damn stuff, though. Passing by the front door, he gave an absent-minded wave to the newbie as he headed towards his bed.

2
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: May 09, 2017, 09:26:15 PM »
Musing whether he wanted to bother actually walking all the way over to the dorm and possibly bumping into one of his teammates or other - well, not quite friends, but acquaintances at least - and get stuck in the seemingly required conversations and greetings, or having to bother doing some exercise, Samuel slowly pushed open one of the windows to the hall. A quick look out got him wincing at the brightness of the morning sun. How did people manage getting up at this time regularly? Masochists.

Deciding that the thought of people who actually liked getting up at this time put him too off social interaction, he twisted his head, looking for the familiar- ah, there we go. The rest of his team - well, baring Cerise, she hadn't even been in the dorm as far as he knew, had made a bit of a fuss over him just casually grabbing a metal rod and hammering it through the wall, but damn it it made for an awesome elevator, aaand it meant he didn't have to bother talking to a single person if he wanted to wander off somewhere. They can go take their safety precautions, their 'what the fuck are you doing's and their actually decent social interaction skills and shove it up their collective-

Thoughts for another time, perhaps, when he wasn't quite so frustrated by a lack of coffee.

Rungs unwinding from his arm, a chain snapped out, and with a noticeable thunk wrapped around the completely safe and not at all unstable method of transportation, before he yanked himself upwards with a jerk. Good thing that aura existed, otherwise he'd have probably broken his spine by doing that or something. Making it up to the windowsill, he pulled it open, sliding into the still empty dorm. Verdant and the newbie seemed to be taking a while.

3
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: May 05, 2017, 03:26:41 PM »
Letting out a quiet sigh as he walked down the corridor, Samuel gave a few half-hearted greetings to a few early-risers he knew as he followed his mental map of the academy towards the canteen. Hopefully they'd be up and running for fresh coffee already, though it was a bit early. Well, worse comes to worse, he had a few other options. Cranking the music up in his headphones, he pushed on the door to a still-dark hall.

Well, that answers one question. No food or drink here then, yet. He'd just use the machine; it was fairly cheap and still didn't require him to make it himself. Walking over, the teen flicked his scroll over the payment area, then yoinked one of the cheap plastic cups and put it underneath. There was a faint gurgling sound, and then nothing happened. Frowning, he poked the button for black coffee again, paused, then whacked the side of the machine. A clunking sound echoed, another gurgling started, and then a huge jet of vaguely bean-flavoured water shot out and spurted all over the cup, knocking it onto the floor and splashing some onto Samuel's jacket.

There was another pause and a noticeable twitch in the man's arm before he slumped slightly. No matter, he could just get some cold coffee from the vending machine. Walking to the neighbouring vendor, he took a coin out of his pocket and put it in, pressing the button for iced coffee. Hearing the whirring of the drinks being pushed along, he let his lips turn upwards, watching as the carton- oh.

Watching as the carton got stuck on the edge of the row.

Samuel blinked, expression blank, before grasping the sides of the machine. He stared at the offending drink as the machine began to shake slightly from his semblance, the vibrations speeding up as his impatience grew with the lack of movement. A few cracking noises from the frontal glass later, he let out a long breath, releasing his hold on the machine. No good; it would cost him far more to pay for the damages than he'd get out of it. Maybe he could use the coffee machine in the kitchen instead. He's sure that the staff wouldn't mind so long that he clears up after himsel-

Ah. Doors completely locked.

God damnit. To the dorm it is. He'd have to use his own.

4
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: May 04, 2017, 01:39:47 PM »
"Thank whatever deity you'd like to." The fox faunus murmured to himself, chains re-wrapping themselves around his arms as he promptly passed the rest of the waiting team. He could finally get some peace and quiet for a bit, maybe grab a quick snooze, and get his fix. He wasn't, uh, addicted or anything. Nothing of the sort. Coffee just... suited his tastes, that was all!

Attempting to distract himself from his annoyance with his own thoughts, he gave a small smile of amusement as he left, quickly heading towards the cafeteria. Coffeequest had just begun.

5
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: May 04, 2017, 02:58:18 AM »
Nearly snapping at Juno's advice, Samuel had just gone with the charge-and-see-what-happens strategy. He had nothing wrong with Verdant, but god if he wasn't a little annoyed at this stage. Giving an awkward smile at the downed archer, the teen patted his teammate on the back. "Sorry, dude. Not one for cheapshots but I'm not exactly a long-range fighter, I was gonna have to close in sooner or later."

He then turned to face Juno, with a look that could only be described as a cross between a half-hearted glare and a completely blank look. Their team leader hadn't exactly been quiet, and it wouldn't have helped even if he had been. "On the other hand, you are a colossal ass. I have four extra limbs, and that's still not enough middle fingers to express my current sentiments. Can I go get coffee now or at least can I spar again. Give me something here to work with, Juno." Samuel deadpanned, wincing as a few pieces of rubble fell from the damaged wall.

6
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: April 28, 2017, 04:48:06 PM »
Samuel heard the drawing of the arrow before anything else. Knowing what would come next, he pulled his arm back in preparation, Ashen Howl fully unwrapping and the bottom two chains jabbing into the ground with loud clunks. Now anchored, the fox faunus waited for a moment before starting to throw his arm forward as the arrow flew forwards, one of the upper chains moving to knock it out of the way.

However, he wasn't expecting the concussive blast that emitted from it, knocking off his own aim. As he lost his grasp of the attack, a sound like booming thunder echoed around the room, a shimmering of the air flying forwards to the left of Verdant and smashing through the ice wall where it connected - but missing the target himself.

It then continued onwards to thump into the wall of the room itself, leaving a large series of cracks criss-crossing around the impact site.

Using the chains to pull him back up to his feet from where he'd been pushed over from the arrow and his own attack, Samuel blinked a few times at the furrowing of the ground and the wall. "Uh... whoops?" He sheepishly stated. Deciding the best action was to ignore it and the possible consequences as best as possible, he ran forwards at the hole in the icy barrier that had been made, metal rungs forming an impromptu shield in front of him.

7
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: April 22, 2017, 10:03:48 PM »
Cursing quietly to himself as Verdant notched an arrow, Samuel flicked his left hand, the chain from the bottom of the held sword quickly pulling the other one into the path of the arrow. The blast pushing him away, he skidded backwards before gaining purchase on the floor below him again, blinking as a sudden wall of ice formed.

As Verdant's hurried request carried over the makeshift defense, Samuel gave a lazy grin. "Ah, well, y'see I kind of have to fire it after I've started it up, or else it kind of goes boom on me instead. Happy to charge it a little more, though!" He shouted his reply, his hand starting to quiver slightly from the soundwaves bouncing.

'Maybe I should be somewhat careful where I aim this. Holding it for a bit longer than usual.' The faunus mused, before thinking again over how his day had gone so far. Chains slowly uncoiling from his arms and raising up behind his back, he shrugged to himself.

'Nah.'


8
The Vale Region / Re: The Lonely Road [Shard INC] [Closed]
« on: April 19, 2017, 08:14:49 PM »
Following the huntress as she smashed through the nearby Grimm with her staff, Willow took his own pot-shots at any trying to crawl up behind the pair, the bark of his revolver ringing out. "Well, lady, you seem to-" The mercenary paused, jumping back from a too close-for-comfort claw swipe. Cursing quietly, he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding as the offending foe was quickly set alight by some mechanism in Brook's weapon. "...have an idea of what to do, so lead the way." He finished, taking the short pause in conflict to reload the chamber of his sidearm. It looked like they'd made a small pathway to the rest, but beowolves were still jumping out of the undergrowth with vigor.

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Shying away from the swathe of flames, Reyva's rough landing was covered for by Michael as the nearby beasts backed up, growling and slowly trying to surround the two hunters-in-training. They watched the pair intently, waiting for a sudden movement for the fight to re-ignite.

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"Alright, alright! Calm down, hotshot." A gruff voice replied, the soldier in question and the others joining up and taking the route that would likely have the highest chance of survival; following the person trained specifically in killing the current enemy. Assault rifles letting out brief streams of bullets at the monsters trying to nip at the heels of Juno while he was already fighting an enemy, they slowly moved up behind him as the group tried to reform.

"Few holes? Only thing that needs holes here are these Grimm!" Another replied to Michael, a tint of amusement marring his voice despite their current situation. The group had fought Grimm before; it was an occupational hazard in their line of work, just not one that they particularly favoured. There was a reason that people went through five or so years of training before being officially recognised, after all.

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The wave of Grimm seemed neverending at first, but on closer look there were less appearing; it was just the number of them already in the camp making it difficult to see how many new ones were stepping up to the challenge. Behind the latest group, two larger wolves with far more spine-like growths on their backs walked into the camp, nipping at each other with short growls before turning to face the fight itself, heading towards the foes up ahead.

9
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: April 17, 2017, 02:30:46 PM »
He may have said it from under his breath, but Verdant had apparently forgot exactly what semblance Samuel possessed. Twitching slightly, Samuel let out a long breath, before focusing his visible eye on his teammate. "Not cool, bro." He stated simply, dropping his right sword to the ground with a clank, leaving it hanging on the chain of the other. Raising his hand up, he clicked his fingers together before grasping the air, catching the sound in his hand. He hadn't shown Verdant this particular trick before, so hopefully it should teach him not to trash-talk him right after all the fiascoes that had occurred in the past few weeks. To be honest, the teen was a little bit on edge right now, and now the one guy who didn't normally flame him was. He hadn't said anything purposefully harmful to anyone! Well, maybe except Juno, but come on need that coffee.

Standing still, his right hand began to shake slightly as his aura trickled downwards from the buildup, turning slightly to hide it behind the held blade. He waited for Verdant to make the first move, not taking his sight off the archer. "If you're so anxious to finish already, you can start it, then."

10
Beacon Academy / Re: Active [VCVS]
« on: April 14, 2017, 12:30:26 PM »
Taking a moment to save the file, Samuel flicked the scroll closed, letting out a quiet yawn. "Yea, yea, I got ya Juno. Fine." Sluggishly pushing himself to his feet, he started heading towards the fighting area, but was interrupted by Cerise's friendly and thoughtful comment towards him and his sparring partner. Pausing for a second, the teen took a few moments to try and think of something witty or some way to defuse the situation a little bit, before simply shrugging. He didn't have the energy to bother right now.

"Sure thing, Cer. Sounds like a plan." Not waiting for a further response, he moved over to the arena, chains sliding along behind him. Reaching to his headphones to start playing a song with a little more rhythm to it for the fight ahead, he began tapping his foot to the beat. "Let's get this show on the road, eh Verdant?" He stated, giving a smile as he drew out Staccato and Encore. Yes, the situation was kinda crappy all around, but at least he could vent a little bit of his frustrations in a fight. Maybe not too many, though - Verdant out of any of his teammates didn't deserve it.

11
WiP Characters / Re: Aurora Hesperid
« on: March 12, 2017, 11:52:22 AM »
Ah, it's all good with funky clothes. My wardrobe consists of t-shirts, jeans and hoodies along with a trenchcoat; not much variation for me either! As long as the appearance is explained, who gives a damn :D

If you want some help with weapon appearances or semblance costs, hit me up sometime and we can talk over it if you want, or we can go through different posts and going over it each time if you'd prefer that. For a simple description, however, I'd suggest describing these:

- Hilt: Colour / Material / Shape / Any extra features?
- Blade: Colour / Material / Shape / Any extra features?
- Abilities: Any innate abilities of the weapon? / Dust functions?

It sounds like a lot, but if you're just writing it out it really lasts about a paragraph, which is probably what we're looking for here! For semblance;
- If you are looking for some more ideas, perhaps she can 'tag' certain objects she has with her for a long time with her semblance, and then she can rotate their position around her body? Keeping the same proximity but changing them on a different axis as an advancement. Then again, it's always nice to keep things short and sweet; all up to you.
- In terms of costs, as a simpler semblance you can keep it quite low whatever you decide to use; I think the main factor would be the number of objects, the weight of objects (which are kind of the same thing barring ridiculous numbers) and the speed. If you can describe the cost for, say, a single one of her daggers, then say how it changes with speed and number, that would probably be fine.

Thanks, and no problemo!

12
WiP Characters / Re: Lunae Terenas (Feedback appreciated)
« on: March 12, 2017, 11:44:44 AM »
That's exactly what I was looking for. Thank you!

Semblance: All good. With the downgrade, I'd almost be tempted to suggest possible Dust effects...?

Miniguns: All good.

Exosuit: Welp, that sounds alright. If it's basically a mechanical walker, you probably could have just scavenged the frame off any destroyed Atlas robot; I imagine they wouldn't exactly care about the older models being bought from a junkyard or something like that. Also, with this addition, you might be able to get away with a little bit more agility; perhaps still slow to react, but maybe its mechanical force can be used at once to do fast but imprecise movements? Such as large jumps or a single sudden swing to the side. All your decision, of course; just ideas if you want to use them.

I think it might just be best to make a single weapon form; detailing the exosuit, with the primary form talking about the walker by itself, the secondary form talking about when loaded with the weapons, and the third talking about when the weapons are in storage form. After all, it is meant to be one cohesive weapon together, right?

Thanks for taking all the advice so easily, Monster :3

13
WiP Characters / Re: Aurora Hesperid
« on: March 12, 2017, 12:10:54 AM »
Hayo Mythic! Few small things I can see;

- Appearances of weapons are missing
- You got a syntax error with your bold and underline tags near the bottom
- Semblance details: it would be best to put the semblance costs; does it use Aurora's aura (catchy), or does it use stamina? How much? What is the maximum weight she can move, and at what speed? What does this cost? Explaining these will help figure out the limits of the character.

As far as I can see, the history is - well, I enjoyed it very much. Feels fresh and well written. The personality section could use an addition of a summary paragraph, just for a bit of extra detail, but it's not necessary. I would say that increasing the length of the combat behavior may be helpful; in particular, describing the way she fights, then summarizing the strengths and weaknesses.

Thanks!

14
WiP Characters / Re: Nick Tyd
« on: March 11, 2017, 11:55:55 PM »
I know you're still working on everything (being WIP and all that), but one small thing;
'1st year (RP with me and he'll tell you how he got to Beacon)'
The point of the character sheet is meant to be a reference point. You don't hide information about key parts of the character's history; you can not tell people IC, and then have a dramatic reveal, but it needs to be down on the sheet itself.

15
WiP Characters / Re: Crimson Nightshade (WIP HELP)
« on: March 11, 2017, 07:59:41 PM »
Hey there!

I'm gonna go over a few of the obvious things; there'll be a good amount to cover over time, however, so I'm just going to poke at the most glaring things for now so we can start cleaning up the character to help you out!

First thing's first;

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Occupation: Student at Beacon Academy
What year of student?

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Crimson is about 6’1- 6’5
That's... a rather glaringly large range. It's best to settle on an exact height, to be honest. If you go for the higher ranges, be aware that being tall isn't always a great thing; there's issues with blood circulation, and... well, I won't get too picky right now, we're working on the more obvious things immediately.

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within battle and or out of combat at a rarity her eyes shows a strange symbol with a light purple outline around the symbol that fills the iris
Spoiler: show

Why? How?

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The color of her air is a purple-black with hints of blues and silvers
...of her air?

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“spikes”
So are they spikes then? Are they actually just bananas shaped to look like pointy metal objects?

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50-100 light compact arrows
That's a lot of arrows. They won't be particularly powerful if you mean to fit that in to a leg-quiver; after all, if it's more than a certain size you won't be able to bend your legs at all.

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all forms of dust
There's a lot more types of Dust in the RPG; usually mixtures of the main ones. Best to specify you have only the main ones, or main ones and a few mixed, etc. Also, be aware if it's powdered Dust, you'd blow up if it's poked around too much in combat; even crystals could go kaboom if it's hit directly.

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nearly categorized
I think you meant "neatly categorized" here.

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Her mother and father were huntresses and hunters
Plural? They were more than one? :P

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As a child, she was taught how to fight grim
First thing's first, 'Grimm'. Secondly, if you meant she fought them as a seven-year-old child, then no. That's not especially a thing. If the town was...
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full of huntresses and hunters who helped her train
Then they'd be very unlikely to take a child straight into combat. Combat training, on the other hand, that's totally fine. However, she wouldn't have mastered all of them if so many were being taught; basic knowledge of each, sure. A child's body wouldn't be able to handle quite the level of exercise I'm thinking you are imagining, however, without damaging the muscles severely - even with aura, I'd imagine.

However, if this town is chock-full of hunters and huntresses, then what's it's name? It sounds like an important place. How large is it? Is it's population around 300, and they're all hunters and huntresses? Why are so many in such a small area, then? Necessary backstory that would need to be explained.

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The town was prosperous….
You don't need quite so many full stops. A better way to put it would be: 'The town was prosperous for many years, until... Until that day. The day the village went into shambles, the village she once grew up in was gone, destroyed, vanished.'

Apart from that, why was the village so prosperous? What did it exactly have to offer Remnant? Lumber? Manpower?

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Many different faunus members, of all different types, from the White Fang including their leader began to slaughter, burn, steal things from every single man, woman, and child until nothing was left of their village to show Vale how the White Fang have been treated throughout regions.
Hwut
Spoiler: show


There might have been faunus living there; would they destroy the village considering that? Would they kill all the faunus too, and go against their wishes to leave their fellow villagers? More to the point, how did they take down a village full of fully-trained hunters and huntresses? One alone is powerful enough to destroy far more terrifying things than a few men with a gun. What's the point of even destroying the village if it's just a random village in the woods, anyways? Did it have importance of some kind?

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Their leader commanded his men and woman, to start attacking the village. All of the huntresses and hunters, one-by-one, fell to their death along with many grim and White Fang members.
Where'd the Grimm come from? How did all the hunters and huntresses fall?

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Crimson’s parents fought against the leader as for Crimson, she helped to defend the village from grimm that joined the fight later on and White Fang.
Spoiler: show

How did they find the leader? More to the point, how old was Crimson at the time? Did she have a weapon? How did she get it? Did she fight using her fists? I don't think that would work against either Grimm or White Fang.

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Within many hour of fight of Crimson’s village, the leader of the White Fang slaughtered Crimson’s parents as Crimson was looking at them being killed. Crimson fell to  her knees as her father looks at her as say in great pain, “We love you, so much. Stay strong with your head held high. Never give up and never forget your...village. Crimson. Remember…we are always….here for... y-y-you…..”
Spoiler: show

How did she see them? How did the leader take both highly-trained people down? If the leader was so good, why didn't they simply sense and kill Crimson? How is Crimson meant to outrun someone that powerful? More to the point, have you asked at all whether the White Fang would do such a thing or if the leader of the entire White Fang would personally slaughter a village? DrGustave controls them; best to ask what would be far more likely to happen. Personally, I'd recommend Bandits instead.

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Crimson faints from exhaustion. She woke up in a city far away from the main city in Vale. She was rescued by multiple groups of hunters and huntresses that where on patrol in the forests that saw the black smoke from fires and grimm.
Spoiler: show

Why didn't they find the place in the, what, five hours that were spent fighting? Smoke would've been an early thing in a battle of that scale. More to the point, how was she the only survivor? There must have been other people who could've slipped out in the confusion; if not, how did they not get out and Crimson did? Why did the village not call for backup?

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They were actually the trainees of the first huntresses and hunters including the huntresses and hunters as well. She told them all her story, even the first hunters and huntresses.
Spoiler: show

So they're over several thousand years old? Blimey. You sure Crimson wasn't talking to a graveyard?

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Crimson was devoted to getting revenge. Crimson vowed an oath that she will live long in the name of her village and get vengeance on the leader of the White Fang for killing her parents and destroying her loved village.
Interesting.
How does this mean she got to Beacon?

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Cool, rarely shows emotion but sometimes when you get to know her is nicer, introvert, mature, serious during combat, strong willed/strong hearted, tends to get sidetracked in her thoughts, has a evil side to her, cautious around/ near faunus, hides many secrets, wise, stubborn at times
How does the evil side act? How is she mature and wise but is completely driven to revenge and has an evil side to her?

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trustworthy, never lies, listens to other within school and or combat, strategic in combat/class, ,patient, ambidextrous, adapts to her surrounding easily than others, skilled with almost every weapon, her vision is sharper/faster than an average human/faunus, has a large amount of aura so wounds heal fast depending on how bad it is but leave scars,
Spoiler: show

Why is her vision sharper/faster? How is it sharper than a faunus', who are far sharper than humans'? How the hell is she skilled with every single weapon that exists? She wouldn't have had that much time to do everything. Has she learnt to control that much aura? If so, how did she have the time to during all that combat and weapon training? How is she so good socially if she spent all her time training? Why does she adapt to her surroundings easier than others - she's been in a single village for so long, not moving around much, then you'd think it would be the opposite. How does she keep a lot of secrets but never lie, and how does that make her trustworthy? What does strategic in class mean?

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emotionless at times, does not talk much, pessimistic in combat, a bit cocky in training and or combat but it rarely shows, shallow, small PTD (post trauma disorder), hand-to-hand combat,
Spoiler: show

She's wise but cocky in training and it rarely shows? That's several paradoxes all mixed up into one wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey right there. How does she have a small PTSD from seeing her friends and family slaughtered around her while she can't do anything and her home is destroyed? How is she weak in hand-to-hand if she has trained all her life under it?

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Crimson has deft enough control over these that she could form them to a creature that used for both combat and non-combat uses.
Cool. When did she learn how to? How did she learn it?

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then the user has little extra power to draw on, thus leaving them with the shadows they can create themselves with their Aura, as well as what few are left around.
So it uses aura, or stamina? How much? What's the difference and scale?

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also has made her develop a sixth sense to detect different grimm types and aura of multiple people.
Spoiler: show

How?

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when someone is in need in combat she doesn’t give up to try to save them but it she fails she fells a small burden put upon herself, tends to get caught up in the fight, when fighting her personality gets “more grim” and becomes a little creepy/demonic (meaning menacing, twisted)
This is additional information. Combat behavior means how does she fight, you can put this information in but it describes nothing of how she actually fights.

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emotionless at times, does not talk much, pessimistic in combat, a bit cocky in training and or combat but it rarely shows, shallow, small PTD (post trauma disorder), hand-to-hand combat,
Spoiler: show

You can't just copy-and-paste the previous section. Split them up and put a bit more detail into them, or delete one of them and fit it into the section itself.

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Corrupted destiny (Bow), The Blades of Judgement (Complete set), Broken Promise/Destiny's Song (Swords), Soul Reaper/Eternal Harmony (Katanas), Heaven's Judgment (staffs)
Spoiler: show

She... holds all of these at once? How? Why does she have all of these and only one is described? How did she make them? Why would she use so many and not focus on one? If she's super-skilled at all of them... how the hell did she train that much? Even in eighteen years you wouldn't get that much practice.

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Crimson forged it by hand
Spoiler: show

She wouldn't have learnt how to make ridiculously powerful weapons as well as everything else.

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She forged it around 10 years ago when she was around the age of 7-8
So she was five years old when she fought Grimm?
Spoiler: show



I'm sorry that it's a bit harsh and there's so much to go over, but to be frank - it needs a lot of work before it meets the conditions that the site requires for characters, as far as I am aware. Currently, I personally think that you'll have to work on it with everyone for a while before it will be ready to be accepted. Thanks for reading over everything.

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