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Messages - Vox Machinae

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Approved Characters / Re: Aoife Alaura
« on: May 27, 2017, 01:58:16 PM »
Your choice, but just for the record, Timeworker was dead fucking wrong.

And also a moron.

Approved Characters / Re: Aoife Alaura
« on: May 25, 2017, 09:40:50 AM »

Ok so here's my feedback

It's been a while since I tore apart a reviewer...

I don't usually go into this area but this weapon isn't enough to battle Grimm. Your fists and a plain revolver won't be enough to combat deadly Grimm.

Volume 1. Episode 6.

Volume 3. Episode 10.

Did you even watch the fucking show? We have people doing lethal damage to Grimm with those exact fucking implements though aided with aura in the case of bare hands.

There is a reason that people usually build their own weapons in Signal and it's because normal weapons don't work, or don't work nearly as well.

We have no evidence in show that's the case. Stop pulling things out of your ass, this isn't the Wikia.

If they did the military could just go in there with a couple or rifles and- you get the picture.

That seems to be Atlas's plan with the AK-200s, and it falls apart due to Atlas being incompetent at network security moreso than their firepower.

So... again... did you watch the fucking show?

I look forward to her edits

I look forward to the review staff of this site watching the fucking show.

NPC Profiles / Rohese Stachelig-Crimson
« on: May 01, 2017, 03:19:08 PM »
Reference File: Rohese Stachelig


Rohese Alexandria Stachelig-Crimson

Other Names
Old Rose (To differentiate her from the Hunter-aligned Roses)


Species and Gender
Rose is a cat faunus, and while biologically intersex, she identifies exclusively as female despite having once had an... additional appendage.

It's not a bulls eye. It's a stylized clock, with the impression of the hands made using negative space within the space of what is, arguably, a bulls eye. On her center of mass. The clock has four hands, two hour hands and two minute hands, with the minute hands at 10 and 50, while the hour hands are at 5 and 7.


"... I remember when I was, like, your age..."
Old Rose, true to her name, is significantly older than the other two incarnations of Rohese Stachelig, with greying hair and wrinkles. Age has diminished her bulk, and her hunched posture makes her look smaller, but under her baggy hooded sweatshirt and long striped skirt, her wiry build still has the same strength as Big Rose. Her feline ears remain as alert as ever, and unlike the other two Roses there is no sign of a childhood broken nose or scarring on her face, save the scars of a long battle with time. She wears a wedding band with a diamond and two rubies.


"I remember being a Huntress. Hiding. Being, like, afraid and stuff. Of what people would think. You kids are so, like... cute..."
Time has not changed Old Rose's speech patterns from those of her younger equivalents, but whatever has transpired in the (REDACTED) she has lived has darkened her view of the world. Only memory of her husband still warms her heart, everything else has fallen to her hatred and corruption by (REDACTED). Old Rose is cold, merciless, and all too often frighteningly sober.

Aura and Semblance

Combat Behavior
"... I'm going to, like... kill you now..."
Age has not diminished Old Rose's capabilities, and her incredible control over the flow of time has given her almost complete control over the battlefield when she's forced into a confrontation. If she's forced to do battle, and does not simply erase her opponent's soul with (REDACTED) there are very few threats that can match her...

"... Just like I killed the Demons..."
... Particularly with the sources of her greatest threats supposedly excised from the timeline...


Sacky Hak Zero


???? Mode

???? Mode

???? Mode

???? Mode



Spoiler: ShowHide
The Crimson Dagger


WiP Characters / Re: Momo Matsumoto
« on: March 12, 2017, 06:19:26 PM »
i am getting no recommendations, just a whole lotta hurtful things and no real progress.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I think taking into account Azure's above post would be a good start.

Or Jar Jar's.

WiP Characters / Re: Momo Matsumoto
« on: March 12, 2017, 12:45:40 AM »

Ha ha haaa, it's funny because I'm one of the top two people on the site in terms of authority...

But since I'm in a highly charitable mood, let's go point by point. For the audience.

Quote from: Dipshit
this is a highly abusive message.

Oh, you sweet summer child. I was gentle.

Quote from: Dipshit
i have bben insulted

But clearly not taught how to spell. Also, the plants that scrub the oxygen you breathe? They should feel insulted.

Quote from: Dipshit
and accused of something i have not done.

You caught that part about how we can see where you post from, right? Right? Your reading comprehension abilities aren't that terrib- Oh, who the fuck am I kidding, they probably are that terrible. But yeah, no, we have direct fucking evidence. This is where I'd post the snape "don't lie to me" gif, but I already used that telling you to stop being a dumbass.

Quote from: Dipshit
i am looking for my first approval,

Well, aim for the top and keep polishing this turd of a profile and maybe someone will be drunk enough to +1 it.

Quote from: Dipshit
and all i got was a demeaning comment and remark

Hey, now that's not true at all.

You got plenty of people trying to help you iron out the many, many flaws of your profile...

... Who you ignored, and reposted the whole thing unfixed, pretending not to have heard anything...

You got teased by Azuzu, who decided to have a little fun trying to help you...

... Which went over your head...

You got an admonishment from the webmaster to stop being a dumbfuck...

... And proceeded to double-down on the bullshit.

Real talk.

Between the alt, the lies, the email address, and the general behavior, we've got you pretty solidly squared away in the troll column.

So why haven't we banned you? Because of little joys like this. I like putting on these kind of shows for the members who, unlike you, didn't eat paint chips as a child.

Oh, and sometimes to make Koop, the other top person on the site, cry.

... But something tells me that's not likely this time. (Hint: We have staff chat and what's coming isn't a surprise at all.)

MiA Characters / Re: Momo Matsumoto
« on: March 06, 2017, 03:22:32 PM »
Moving to MIA, since the WIP one is more recent...

... And no less stupid...

Approved Characters / Re: Anastasia Argead
« on: March 06, 2017, 03:21:44 PM »
TL;DR approved anyway.


EDIT: ... Apparently, since some morons need it spelled out, yes, that was Vox being a Vox, and it was read all the way.

WiP Characters / Re: Momo Matsumoto
« on: March 06, 2017, 03:18:12 PM »
This caused enough blabber in staff chat to summon the webmaster.

Keep wasting the time of my staff, and I'll just ban you and your alts (yes, dipshit, we can see those) and be done with it.

It's a beautiful day in the desert (yes, dipshit, we can see where you post from) at least by my cold-blooded and winter-locked reckoning, and only likely to get nicer, so maybe some time outside will do you good.

Don't bring this shit out of WIP until you learn not to be a dumbass.

Approved Characters / Re: Kirkka Scarlet
« on: February 08, 2017, 06:08:22 PM »
Ctrl-F. "Bench."

No results.


I have returned. I've recently found some motivation to write, and so I came back. For those of you that know me, it's business as usual.

And no posts shall be made.

For those of you that don't know me, I am Koop, and I own the space this site is hosted on! I think that is technically correct.


I am a semi-retired administrator

Read as: Figurehead and scapegoat.

and I've been gone for about 4 months. Just getting situated, but I'm usually available on IRC for chatting things. Hope to see you all around the forums, and in IRC!

I missed you, Koop.

Let me rephrase that.

The person I hired missed.

The next one won't.

Approved Characters / Re: Kaali Charen
« on: February 08, 2017, 03:07:35 AM »
You gonna get Fayza'dCarmine'd.

Automatic +1

Approved Characters / Re: Tobias Ecru Larrikin
« on: January 07, 2017, 04:14:16 PM »
As a guy with multiple sclerosis, I'll tip my hat to you for the reason for the chrome.

Not a review, but a friendly bump from the webmaster.

Giving Zinger a hit as an apology for this taking a while. The post will also be kind of shitty, since I'm sick and this is the FOURTH TIME DOING IT.

Luck was not on Carmine's side.

One of Verdant's arrows landed right below her, the ice Verdant had been planning to use for cover bursting upward. Right under her.

There was something about not getting hit somewhere sensitive I was supposed to do, wasn't there? The thought came just before Carmine's position took a sudden vertical adjustment , courtesy of the ice that had just punted her in the cu struck her in the crotch.

Pain. Lots of pain.

Carmine staggered back, whimpering and clutching herself, or at least holding her guns over the area as a measure of comfort. "Aw fuckin' 'ell, right on th' fuckin' bean..." It couldn't get worse. Her clumsy positioning could not have been any-

Carmine used to be a mobile combatant like Verdant. And then she took an ice arrow to the knee.

And yet, as the ice spread up her leg, trapping her temporarily, there was only one thought going through Carmine's mind through the haze of pain. At least it didn't hit the- COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD FUCKING COLD COLD COLD.

(Aura: 90%)

Beacon Academy / Re: Feeling the Holiday Spirit. (LIMITED 3/7)
« on: December 11, 2016, 11:46:27 PM »
Carmine's song is to the tune of Xmas? I don't know such a thing!

"SINGLE 'ELL, SINGLE 'ELL, SINGLE ALWAYS," Carmine's cheery, accented voice rose in song as she made her way back to where Malina was, "I wonder 'ow many years I've spent jus' all by m'self?"

Her voice wasn't the only sound. Jingling. An ungodly cacophony of jingling accompanied the girl's singing, indicative of her dancing, prancing gait. Jingling... and a sound not unlike four hundred pounds of meat being dragged periodically behind her, facilitated by pulses of her semblance not so much pulling as flinging the massive beast forward every few feet.

"SINGLE 'ELL, SINGLE 'ELL, SINGLE ALWAYS," she was getting closer, and her song seemed to get worse. Carmine did not have a good singing voice. "Now I'm 'appy an' I've got teammates, in time for-," The singing stopped, the jingling stopped, and a loud series of honks and screeches, drowned out any residual jingling. "'EY! NO! BAD! GO BACK TO-" a loud thud sounded, "SLEEP!"

Silence. Horrible silence. Then Carmine continued her song, the jingling resumed, and the thud sounded again.

"Beacon's lit brill'antly," thud, "upon this festive eve," thud, "an' I've got lovely teammates," thud, "to dress up festively!" One more thud, before Carmine turned the corner.

Oversized red conical hat with fluffy white trim and a puff ball on the end. Strapless red dress with excessively fluffy white trim hiding any trace of her cleavage with the raw elemental floof. Shoulder-length candy cane striped gloves, arguably to hide her scar on her arm. Thigh-length candy cane stockings. Curly toed red shoes. And many, many ribbons covered with tiny jingling bells tied around her arms and legs. Tied into her hair. Tied around each finger like rings. Her hair was in front of her right eye to hide the scarring there, so she had to search more than normal to see Malina, starting toward her friend with a big grin, and another tug of the cable she held.

She did not stop singing. "'Cause I've got friends this year," whatever she was dragging seemed to have gotten caught, and she flicked the cable, with another loud thud, to dislodge it from the wall, "an' we're all single girls," she tugged again, only to have the loud thump shake the wall, "maybe we all should dress up cute an' go-"

Again, the loud honking and screeching, its source apparent as a large bull reindeer scrambled to its feet and darted past, bleating its poor traumatized, bruised heart out upon slipping free from Carmine's detached grapple reel cable.

The only response from Carmine was a long, drawn out "awwwwwwwwwww maaaaaan" as she watched the reindeer abscond to try to find its way back to that singing princess-looking student Carmine acquired the deer from. "I was gonna dress 'im up as a mascot..." She turned back to Malina, a pout on her face. "Malinaaaaaa, I need to get Chiu reindeer 'orns. Y'know. Backup plan." She sniffed, making her way toward Malina. "Somethin' somethin' just use a differn't 'orny animal..."

She sniffed again, and looked at the tree.

"... Lookin' good!"

I'm really sorry about the delays. A lot of pain, several bad medication reactions, and five hospital visits later, here I am. Still not 100% so I'll be kind of phoning it in. Sorry about that. Delays were okayed by all parties. Only Gus was bullied into accepting them, but that's more out of habit than anything.

Time stretched out for Carmine as she saw Malina get hit, a moment seeming like a month as one thought ran through Carmine's mind. He shot her in the tit. A second thought. Also, he fucked up his one liner. That was a less important thought, so she went back to the first. Poor Malina. That looked like it hurt. Note to self: don't get hit in the tit. Or anywhere else super sensitive. Ooooh hell, if my aura fluctuates when I get hit, it might cause a wardrobe malfunction. The whole world might see my boob. Her awareness was dragged to her arm. Or my scar. ... Don't know what would be worse. At least my boob is cute? But eeeeeeeeee-

Malina. Shot. Pain. Carmine's wandering train of thought snapped back to the present. Some primal, buried part of her took her by the head, forced her to look at the threat Verdant posed, and forced her to do what it said.


Verdant had turned to Carmine as her train of thought locked on to the battle, one of his ice arrows drawn. "Let's take a moment to acknowledge how great this fight has gone, may the best Huntsman or Huntress win."

Carmine just nodded, and fired Al-Maisan and Al-Nayyir between her and Verdant, explosive and smoke pellets kicking up a thick cloud to block line of sight between the two combatants. "Yeah, an' no 'ard feelings either way for 'ow this goes. Sound good?" Her message delivered, she ducked to the side, rolling and  using one gun to expand her smoke field and the other's flechette fire to pepper Verdant's position. (5 damage)

(Aura: 115%)

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