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« on: March 15, 2018, 03:04:31 PM »
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« Last Edit: August 27, 2023, 07:20:36 PM by . »

Kingnoname1

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2018, 03:53:07 AM »
It's a very good first attempt there are just a few small things I feel I should mention just to look busy.
  • She is a bit of a lightweight, that's fine but should probably be made clear somewhere
  • What exactly do you mean by 'explorer' in the Occupation?
  • Is there a reason why she wanted to become a huntress? It's a dangerous position and it doesn't look like she is following in the footsteps of anyone.
  • We aim for 2-3 weaknesses so another one would be nice although they can be more specific than 'weak'
  • Having an apartment is fine but we would probably like some justification for where the funds came from, probably parents/adopted parents but can't hurt to be specific.
But like I said a very good first attempt.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

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« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2018, 06:51:19 PM »
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« Last Edit: August 27, 2023, 07:19:46 PM by . »

Kingnoname1

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2018, 07:46:12 AM »
I'd also like a passing reference to any other clothes she would wear, combat apparel or school uniform? Are they any different peacoat? Any sorted of added armour plating? What is her opinion on having to wear the uniform and does she modify it at all?

But that's mostly personal preference, +1
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

jjb2158

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2018, 06:30:42 PM »
Along with King, I would like to welcome you to the board! Everything looks good to me, but I do have a couple questions in regards to her semblance:

1. When you say it's passive, does this mean that it's on all the time? Or that it sporadically comes on/off and she has no control over it? If it's the first option, then I would like to see at least one drawback to having it activated all the time.
2. Is there a range limit to her semblance ability?

Overall, I really like the concept of her semblance, but it would be nice for just a little bit more details in regards to it (such as the ones I've listed). As it stands right now, the potentials for how this semblance can be used are tremendous so a drawback on it would be good to help balance it out a bit.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

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« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2018, 01:20:52 AM »
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« Last Edit: August 27, 2023, 07:45:22 PM by . »

jjb2158

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2018, 02:11:39 PM »
Okay, so I discussed this with the other staff as having a passive semblance is something we don't see regularly come through here.

The main issue we saw was the fact that people would forget what she looked like after 2 hours. The problem with that is that it basically makes it so that everyone on the board is going to have to start off by asking "who are you again?" since they won't remember her by her looks. That also proves problematic in regards to whoever ends up on your team as every morning they're going to wake up and possibly freak out thinking that there's a random stranger in their room before realizing its their teammates. And so, as enjoyable as it might be to have yourself play the role of that, this does make it much more difficult for everyone else on the board.

At first, we thought about saying that you will need to change it from a passive semblance to an activated one instead. However, as we discussed it, there is a solution for you to keep it passive and still have this work for you. My proposition is that you increase the time duration before someone forgets her from 2 hours to 12 hours instead for these reasons:
1. This allows it so that you will be able to interact with a majority of the other students around her without there being an issue.
2. This also allows her to have room for growth with her semblance as she gets older and more powerful with her semblance use (to which the time can decrease).
3. This still gives the potential for other students to forget what she looks like and ask who she is, if that was something you were wanting to have as an option.

Overall, I really enjoy this semblance and would love to see it work around other people. It just needs to be nerfed a bit so that it can integrate and work well with the other people here on the board.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

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« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2018, 02:17:34 PM »
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« Last Edit: August 27, 2023, 07:44:17 PM by . »

jjb2158

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2018, 02:28:41 PM »
Looks good! Approved 2 of 2.

Happy RPing :D
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2018, 05:16:26 PM »
pre edit: ShowHide
CHARACTER

Name: Amane Petrichor

Age: 18

Species and Gender: Human and Female

Occupation: First Year Student at Beacon, Explorer

Appearance: Amane is 164cm tall, weighs 45kg, and has light skin. She has shoulder length blonde hair and amber eyes.

While Amane mixes and matches her apparel, her clothing of choice in the field consists of a dark grey weather resistant peacoat over a black polo shirt, dark brown jeans, a black beanie on her head, black moto boots, a dark brown scarf, a luxury watch on her left wrist, and a backpack with various supplies.

She does not make any modifications to her uniform unless its for things like weather conditions, but always wears her watch.

Amane also has a collection of expensive men’s colognes, which she wears interchangeably.

[spoiler]


History: Amane was born in Vale to two prestigious scientists who were on the verge of discovering something amazing until they were killed by a car bomb. She was taken in by her friend Iris, whose family also consisted of wealthy scientists. Amane and Iris grew up together and as the years passed, Iris was invited to a school for highly gifted scientists.

Seeing her sister and best friend moving up in the world, Amane resolved to do something too. However, she felt being a scientist wasn’t for her, especially after digging into her parents’ past and finding out that they weren’t the best of people. She still wanted to be somebody who helped people and made their lives better though, so she decided to become a huntress and signed up for Signal Academy with support from her family.

Even before discovering her semblance, Amane was really low-key and didn't like to attract attention, but was an excellent student who put in a lot of effort to train and study, even attending an extracurricular class to learn aura detection. However, she would slightly downplay her skills and never do anything flashy during demonstrations and duels, only getting passing scores so she doesn’t attract attention. After she discovered her semblance, she was even less there in the minds of others.

After graduating from Signal, Amane took an year off to work in the field, collecting lab samples for Iris, who graduated early and was immediately hired to work at a laboratory. This year for Amane consisted mostly of exploring ruins, but due to the nature of her semblance and the advantages it provides, there were also a few grey areas connected with Vale’s criminal underworld and the black market. Eventually though, Iris pushed her to go to Beacon so she can make friends other than Iris and finish her training to become a fully-fledged huntress.

Personality: Amane is a very grounded person who never panics and likes to thinks things through. She's also highly perceptive, good at collecting information, and willing to delve into morally grey areas. Being an introvert, she doesn't talk a whole lot and tries to stay away from the center of attention, but can still make conversation with others. Despite being somewhat withdrawn though, she does have a slight humorous side, like getting a 0 on every true or false test she ever took.

Amane is also someone who lives life to a high standard while staying out of her comfort zone. She likes playing racing games, listening to house music, working on or riding her motorcycle, drinking scotch, and occasionally smoking a cigar or weed. She dislikes greasy food and public restrooms.

Aura and Semblance: Aura Color: Invisible | Abilities: Detection
Semblance: People will forget what Amane looks like if they don’t see her for twelve hours. She also doesn’t appear on camera. While this ability is passive and cannot be controlled, those who knew her before her semblance was activated can remember what she looks like. One drawback of her semblance is that it slows down her aura regeneration by 30%.

Combat Behavior: Amane is someone who fights with pure precision and efficiency. Highly skilled at controlling her rifle and aiming in a short time frame, she can land two to the chest and one to the head within a single three round burst from thirty meters away. Her movements are devoid of anything extra as she moves around with agility, her reactions are impressive, and she’s great at strategy and decision-making in the spur of the moment. Her environmental sense is also a major asset, which she uses on top of her aura detection to predict enemies and hit various “oddshots”.

However, Amane is very lightweight and not the strongest person out there so in a match of physical strength, many people can overtake her. She also lacks short term stamina and defensive aura capacity, which gives her trouble with drawn out short-distance battles and makes her a glass cannon. Finally, Amane doesn’t have much experience working in a team, but she understands this and is willing to cooperate with team members.

Equipment

Primary Weapon: A powerful automatic rifle with a silencer, holographic smart scope, foldable stock, twenty-round magazine with armor-penetrating bullets with two spares, and a strap for easy carry. It is capable of medium-range sniping.
Spoiler: ShowHide


Secondary Weapon: Desert Eagle Mark XIX

Tertiary Weapon: Tactical Bowie Knife

Throwables: 3x tactical throwing stars, which can be either a flashbang, high explosive, incendiary, or smoke.

Backpack: Climbing gear, various lab sample-collecting equipment/supplies, flares, compact multi-tool (pliers, tweezers, awl, wire cutter, various shape screwdrivers, coarse and fine files, scissor, can opener, serrated blade, bottle opener), compass, flashlight, duct tape, steel wire, pens, lighter, water purification tablets, mirror, thermal blanket, lockpick set, compact parachute, first aid kit, bobby pins, two tourniquets, scroll and earbuds, and a water bottle.

Vehicle: Amane likes to get around on a black Ducati Panigale motorcycle, but she occasionally borrows Iris’s cars from time to time.
Spoiler: ShowHide


Residence: Amane also bought a spacious high level suite in Vale with money inherited from her parents, where she likes to get work done in or relax and spend time alone.
Spoiler: ShowHide

[/quote][/spoiler]

Diana Levone - Beacon First year - Leader and Medic of team Digital (DGTL)
[color= #839CA5]""[/ color]
Bastet Nin - Haven First year - Blinking Glaive Skirmisher of team Rewind (RWND)
[color= #F2B233]""[/ color]

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« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2018, 05:30:54 PM »
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« Last Edit: August 27, 2023, 07:26:26 PM by . »

Kingnoname1

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2018, 06:10:10 PM »
You cut out the whole slows aura regen by 30%, did you mean to do that?
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

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« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2018, 06:17:36 PM »
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« Last Edit: August 27, 2023, 07:27:01 PM by . »

Kingnoname1

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2018, 06:22:01 PM »
OK checks out. Re-approved.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

Kingnoname1

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Re: Amane Petrichor
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2018, 03:45:33 PM »
pre edits: ShowHide
CHARACTER

Name: Amane Petrichor

Age: 18

Species and Gender: Human and Female

Occupation: First Year Student at Beacon, Explorer

Appearance: Amane is 164cm tall, weighs 45kg, and has light skin. She has shoulder length blonde hair and amber eyes.

While Amane mixes and matches her apparel, her clothing of choice in the field consists of a dark grey weather resistant peacoat over a black polo shirt, dark brown jeans, a black beanie on her head, black moto boots, a dark brown scarf, a luxury watch on her left wrist, and a backpack with various supplies.

She does not make any modifications to her uniform unless its for things like weather conditions, but always wears her watch.

Amane also has a collection of expensive men’s colognes, which she wears interchangeably.

[spoiler=Appearance]

Watch: ShowHide

History: Amane was born in Vale to two prestigious scientists who were on the verge of discovering something amazing until they were killed by a car bomb. She was taken in by her friend Iris, whose family also consisted of wealthy scientists. Amane and Iris grew up together and as the years passed, Iris was invited to a school for highly gifted scientists.

Seeing her sister and best friend moving up in the world, Amane resolved to do something too. However, she felt being a scientist wasn’t for her, especially after digging into her parents’ past and finding out that they weren’t the best of people. She still wanted to be somebody who helped people and made their lives better though, so she decided to become a huntress and signed up for Signal Academy with support from her family.

Even before discovering her semblance, Amane was really low-key and didn't like to attract attention, but was an excellent student who put in a lot of effort to train and study, even attending an extracurricular class to learn aura detection. However, she would slightly downplay her skills and never do anything flashy during demonstrations and duels, only getting passing scores so she doesn’t attract attention. After she discovered her semblance, she was even less there in the minds of others.

After graduating from Signal, Amane took an year off to work in the field, collecting lab samples for Iris, who graduated early and was immediately hired to work at a laboratory. This year for Amane consisted mostly of exploring ruins, but due to the nature of her semblance and the advantages it provides, there were also a few grey areas connected with Vale’s criminal underworld and the black market. Eventually though, Iris pushed her to go to Beacon so she can make friends other than Iris and finish her training to become a fully-fledged huntress.

Personality: Amane is a very grounded person who never panics and likes to thinks things through. She's also highly perceptive, good at collecting information, and willing to delve into morally grey areas. Being an introvert, she doesn't talk a whole lot and tries to stay away from the center of attention, but can still make conversation with others. Despite being somewhat withdrawn though, she does have a slight humorous side and tends to make jokes occasionally..

Amane is also someone who lives life to a high standard while staying out of her comfort zone. She likes playing racing games, listening to house music, working on or riding her motorcycle, drinking scotch, and occasionally smoking a cigar or weed. She dislikes greasy food and public restrooms.

Aura and Semblance: Aura Color: Invisible | Abilities: Detection
Semblance: People will forget what Amane looks like if they don’t see her for twelve hours. She also doesn’t appear on camera. While this ability is passive and cannot be controlled, those who knew her before her semblance was activated can remember what she looks like. People will forget what Amane looks like if they don’t see her for twelve hours. She also doesn’t appear on camera. While this ability is passive and cannot be controlled, those who knew her before her semblance was activated can remember what she looks like. One drawback of her semblance is that it slows down her aura regeneration by 30%.

Combat Behavior: Amane is someone who fights with pure precision and efficiency. Highly skilled at controlling her rifle and aiming in a short time frame, she can land two to the chest and one to the head within a single three round burst from thirty meters away. Her movements are devoid of anything extra as she moves around with agility, her reactions are impressive, and she’s great at strategy and decision-making in the spur of the moment. Her environmental sense is also a major asset, which she uses on top of her aura detection to predict enemies and hit various “oddshots”.

However, Amane is very lightweight and not the strongest person out there so in a match of physical strength, many people can overtake her. She also lacks short term stamina and defensive aura capacity, which gives her trouble with drawn out short-distance battles and makes her a glass cannon. Finally, Amane doesn’t have much experience working in a team, but she understands this and is willing to cooperate with team members.

Techniques: ShowHide

Holding Angles - Amane likes to hold enemy bottlenecks from covered firing positions, attempting to angle herself to narrow down the gap to get it around 200-300cm wide. Because of the narrow gap to shoot through, Amane’s fast reactions come into play here in order to mow down any enemies passing through the bottleneck.
[spoiler=Example]

One-Tap - AP rounds are expensive. Despite using an automatic rifle, Amane prefers to terminate enemies with one round to the head whenever the opportunity is presented.

Prefiring - Amane is one who acts instead of reacts. Using the pings from her aura detection along with her environmental senses to deduce areas with a high chance of enemies, Amane keeps her gun pointed at where they are most likely to pop out, and can immediately fire at areas she thinks where enemies are, even if she hasn’t seen them. Because of Amane’s trigger discipline however, there is usually a fifty millisecond delay for her to confirm that it is in fact an enemy.

Recoil Control - Amane not only has an excellent grip and stance to improve the grouping of her shots, she controls it with a fine level of precision, allowing the recoil deliver her line of fire to the next target. She mainly uses this for hitting a target’s head right after hitting its chest.

Spray Transfer - Amane is highly capable of changing targets without letting go of the trigger. Against two enemies placed about ten meters away and a maximum distance of three meters apart from each other, Amane is able to terminate the first one with her automatic rifle, then accurately turn to target the other within the .125 second interval of a next bullet being chambered.

Triple-Burst Failure to Stop - Amane’s signature technique, her version of failure to stop that is executed within a single three round burst from her automatic rifle. The first shot is either placed in the targets center of gravity near its navel, or on one side of its sternum. If placed in the center of gravity, she controls the recoil of her gun to let it instantly place the next shot to the target’s sternum. If the first shot is placed on one side of the sternum, she grounds the recoil to place the next shot in the other side of the target’s sternum. With the purpose of the first two shots being to stop the target in its tracks, Amane once against uses the recoil of her gun to place the third shot into the target’s “T-Zone” to turn off its lights. Amane is capable of doing this to enemies up to 30m away[/spoiler]
Techniques (Not ready for field use yet): ShowHide

Cross Termination - "A group of enemies should not be seen as individuals, but a single group to be flowed through."
Somewhat a more advanced version of Spray Transfer, Cross Termination is a technique to use against tight groups of enemies where the user doesn’t let go of the trigger of an automatic weapon, but controls it, making every single bullet deliver a headshot to a different enemy. Amane needs to practice this technique a little more before it is ready to use in the field.

Crippling - “If you can’t find a weak point, make one.”
With Beacon Academy comes tougher, tankier enemies in the future. Amane developed this technique in preparation of that, which involves firing at certain kinematic weak points at the right times to cripple their movement, for example, the fulcrums of any strenuous actions the enemy might be performing, or even their center of gravity. Due to it being recently developed, Amane is not ready to use this in the field yet.

Equipment

Primary Weapon: A powerful automatic rifle that is capable of medium range sniping with a silencer, holographic smart scope, foldable stock, and a strap for easy carry. It has a twenty-round magazine Amane loads with armor-penetrating bullets (Each one costing the equivalent of 2$), and she also carries two spares. The rifle has two stickers on it, a broken upside down peace sign on the stock and a Blood for Mercy one by the magazine.
Spoiler: ShowHide

Secondary Weapon: Desert Eagle Mark XIX

Tertiary Weapon: Tactical Bowie Knife

Throwables: 3x tactical throwing stars, which can be either a flashbang, high explosive, incendiary, or smoke.

Backpack: Climbing gear, various lab sample-collecting equipment/supplies, flares, compact multi-tool (pliers, tweezers, awl, wire cutter, various shape screwdrivers, coarse and fine files, scissor, can opener, serrated blade, bottle opener), compass, flashlight, duct tape, steel wire, pens, lighter, water purification tablets, mirror, thermal blanket, lockpick set, compact parachute, first aid kit, bobby pins, two tourniquets, scroll and earbuds, and a water bottle.

Vehicles:
Amane usually gets around on her black Ducati Panigale motorcycle
Spoiler: ShowHide

Amane drives her black Ford Mustang Boss 429 when she doesn't feel like riding her motorcycle.
Spoiler: ShowHide

Occasionally, Amane will also borrow one of Iris's cars to drive around:

Aston Martin 2018 Vantage
Color: Silver
Description: Fast, great for travelling in style, and not in overboard supercar range, Iris purchased this with her family’s money.
Spoiler: ShowHide

Range Rover Velar
Color: White
Description: A great car for travelling with company and going on road trips, the Range Rover Velar is spacious, powerful, and great at off-roading. Iris bought this from money she earned as a professor.
Spoiler: ShowHide

Mercedes E63 AMG (Alpha7 Performance Kit)
Color: White
Description: Iris bought this because it is a comfortable, durable car that doesn’t attract much attention. After Amane installed a BiTurbo performance package, it became a monster capable of going from zero to sixty mph in under three seconds without compromising comfort.
Spoiler: ShowHide

Residence:
Amane also bought a spacious high level suite in Vale with money inherited from her parents, where she likes to get work done in or relax and spend time alone.
Spoiler: ShowHide
[/spoiler]
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade