OOC: Normally, I like to go in turns and was thinking of waiting until the other two posted, but I think it'll be alright if I post again briefly.

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Looking up from his canteen, Oberon nodded in acknowledgement to both students that walked up to him. "Top of the morning" he replied simply. "You must be Billy" he asked as he walked over to Billy with an extended hand before turning to Smokey. "And you must be Smokey" he said, extending his hand to the lad. "Yes, my name is Oberon. The others should be here soon." Looking at his clock and seeing that there was still ten minutes until the time they were required to show up, he took another puff from his cigar and let the smoke trickle out through his nostrils. "Once the others show up I will go ahead and debrief all of you. For now, go ahead and make sure you have everything in order." With that, he took another sip from his canteen and sat back down on the stump he was on previously.

Thank you. Here's my revision:

History:
Against my better judgment and only because you're new to the board, I will say that the history is acceptable, albeit, very bare-boned. Keep in mind that, as you create more characters, we will require more thought to be put into your character's history. My suggestion would be to look over other characters and see what they put to help inspire you to write.

Semblance:
A couple things here still:
1. This is still somewhat vague on how much of an increase it will allow. My biggest concern against this semblance is that there is no limit to how much of an increase, which is a big no-no in my books. If you want to have this semblance, then there will need to be a limit on it, one that is specific to a first year student at Beacon (meaning, the increase cannot be a big amount).
2. There still isn't really any drawbacks to this semblance other than him not having a lot of kinetic energy to use his semblance. This really isn't a drawback as that number can increase dramatically if he was to simply get shot once by a gun or hit by a weapon. For a semblance like this that has a huge potential, I would like to see at least two more weaknesses: one small and one big.

Watching Nicolas fly away from him with amazing speed, Savas had only a brief moment to be surprised before two icicles came flying straight at him. Unable to dodge, he raised his sword to help block one of the icicles, but was hit hard by the second one in his abdomen, causing him to grunt and take a step back from the impact. "Ngggrh...not bad" he muttered, reassessing his options. Seeing that Nicolas was keeping a far distance from him, Savas could only assume that he would continue to do so in hopes of having the advantage.

Changing his plan of attack, Savas proceeded to running perpendicular to Nicolas. Pulling Metatron off his back, he slammed Sandalphon into it, causing the two to become one. Wield Halvanhelev with one hand, he continued his long strides as he pulled a dust cylinder and loaded it. "Lets do this!" he roared, rotating the cylinder so that an air crystal was the first to be used. Swinging Halvanhelev with a brute force, it created a horizontal slash of highly pressurized air that went straight towards Nicolas. Hopefully that'll stun him slightly he thought as he rotated the cylinder to a lightning crystal. Pivoting on his left leg, he sprinted as fast as he could towards Nicolas, hoping to close the distance enough so that he could use the crystal to stun him.

• Semblance: Activated. 30 seconds remaining.
• Aura: 90%

Following behind Nicolas and Aurelia silently, Savas merely took in the scenery of his hometown. Despite the dreary weather, the town buzzed with activity from shops opening up to showcase their wares to a few small children running down the pavement, laughing as they went along. Here and there, he caught a few gazes on him, though many of them merely nodded their head in acknowledgement of the giant faunus, to which he nodded back politely.

Arriving at the outdoor arena, Savas took a moment to get himself prepared for a fight. Walking over to the other side of the arena from Nicolas, he smirked slightly as he saw the faint glimmering around Nicolas. "Ngggrh...guess we're not holding back" he remarked, also activating his semblance. As he began to glow a dark crimson, he closed his eyes and let the faint picture of his team flash before his eyes. I will live on for them he thought as his semblance activated and he let out a loud shout, as if challenging the heavens itself. With his semblance glowing around him like a raging fire, Savas pushed off, breaking the hardened dirt with his weight and force as he came charging straight at Nicolas, Sandalphon held at shoulder length to do a downward swing on the man.

Seeing that it was only two small children who were huddled behind the bush, Savas relaxed slightly. Knowing that his height and appearance would probably send the children running and screaming in terror, he merely looked on from a distance as his other teammates did their best to ease their fears.

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Smiling slightly, the two children slowly came out from the brush, but froze in stark terror as their eyes landed first on Acero and then on Savas. Flinching back momentarily, the older of the two mustered courage and, with one arm around what looked to be his sister's shoulders, he moved cautiously over to Kei and took the candy and handed one to the little girl. Taking the candy, the girl smiled softly and, letting go of the boy, she ran over to Ribeiro and threw her tiny arms around Ribeiro's shoulders as a sudden wave of tears began to fall from the little girls face.

"W-we were ambushed..." the boy muttered quietly, seeming to have regained his composure. Popping the piece of candy in his mouth, he seemed to relax more as the assurance of the team around them gave his comfort. "The big scary Grimm came out of nowhere..." Looking over towards one wagon in particular, his eyes widened as it began to glisten. Wiping his face he simply looked down at the ground as the realization of what took place seemed to take over his demeanor.

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Listening quietly to the lad tell what happened, Savas continued to monitor the perimeter amidst the little girl's crying. Sounds more and more like it's a Nuckalavee he thought, clenching his fists briefly. Walking closer to the team, he kept himself from making eye contact with the two children; they had seen enough horrors as it was and he didn't want to cause them to be fearful anymore. "Ngggrh...I'll look over the perimeter and see if there are any tracks" he growled, his voice rumbling through the calm forest. "Acero, take the right side. I'll take the left." Shooting a quick glance at the girl and boy, the girl had a look of pure fear as she looked up at Savas, clenching tighter around Ribeiro's neck. The boy, however, looked up in both fear and awe, first at Savas and then at Acero.

Snorting slightly, Savas began walking away before turning around. "Ngggrh...I think we're up against a Nuckalavee so stay ready. See if the boy can give a description." With that said, he turned and continued walking down the perimeter of the forest, keeping a close eye on anything that might give a clue as to what they may be up against.

Having reached the bottom of the mine, the loud noise from Rackley and Conner's gunfire drew further noise from below. As Anza and Sandy reached the bottom, the glimmering glow of many menacing red eyes welcomed them at the bottom. Letting out a cry, a group of Creeps proceeded towards Anza and Sandy, their jaws open wide for flesh.

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Having the ringing in his ear clear up, Rackley proceeded to breaking Aoshi down to its third form and loaded a small clip from his belt into Washi. Taking aim at the next Beowolf to come around the corner, he fired a few rounds at it's abdomen, causing it to go fall down to its death. As two more came around the corner, Rackley unloaded the remaining bullets into them, killing one and wounding the other. Pulling out the empty cartridge, he put it in the small pack on his hip and drew another to reload. "Think they made it down yet?" he inquired of Conner, all signs of nervousness gone as he was focused on the incoming fight. Reloading Washi, he fired two more rounds into the wounded Grimm, killing it before turning his attention to the remaining Beowolves that were still coming down.

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• 6 Beowolves remaining, one being the Alpha.
• 10 Creeps approaching Anza and Sandy with more incoming.

Works for me!

Approved 2 of 2.

Sorry for the delay here. I had to discuss the semblances with the other staff as there are potential problems with these semblances. First things first, I want to bring this into factor:

"Mental Manipulation: This includes effects that alter or directly affect another’s mind. Mind Reading, Mind Control, causing fear, etc. Effects based on the senses(such as creating illusions) are allowed."

This is what made there be a problem. Though these are illusion based semblances, they also have a drastic effect on a person's mind, especially Erza's semblance, which is where the main issues lie. And so, since this is your third character as well as the fact that I am the destroyer of dreams and expectations, I will have to be a bit more technical in regards to the semblances:

1.

However, if she's allowed to focus on a person while at her most intimidating, they enter a temporary state of paralysis where they're unable to move from fear - until Erza chooses to down the intensity of the illusion and set them free, or scare them to the point of retreat.

This will not be allowed. This basically makes it so that she or Azre can auto-hit a person who has been paralyzed by her semblance. Auto-hitting is not allowed and so this will need to be changed.

2. The part on where Erza takes on a person's greatest fears is also a bit of a stretch. The problem lies two-fold:

• How is she able to know what a person's greatest fears are and then able to manifest it?
• How would she manifest a person's greatest fears if their fears are the dark, heights, deep water, or rejection?

These two things make it so that the manifestation of a person's fears would be sketchy at best. For example, if my character's greatest fears was the dark and the fear of falling, how would that manifest into Erza's semblance? Would she simply take on a darkened silhouette? I can tell you now that, if that was the case and it happened when there was a light on, my character wouldn't be afraid of that simply because of the light that was on.
Also, what if she ran into a person who did not have any fears at all? The problem here is that this doesn't simply become a physical illusion, but rather can turn quickly into a mental control over a person, which is one of many banned semblances.

Now, that all being said, I do like the semblances that you have down. I just think that there needs to be a few restrictions to it. Here's what we as staff all agreed upon:

1. There needs to be a couple more things that can be done to break the illusions aside from being distraction. For that, we recommend that you specify what type of distractions (loud noises, bright light, etc) can distract them as well as being physically touched by the person under the semblance can also cause it to break.
2. As I mentioned earlier, the temporary paralysis needs to be removed. Our suggestion is to go with what would happen under normal circumstances to a person with a phobia: fight or flight. If I was afraid of spiders and someone took on the illusion of a spider, I can tell you right now that I would not stand there paralyzed by fear. Instead, I would either do everything I could to eradicate said spider or I would turn and run as fast as I can away from it. This option removes the mind controlling through fear aspect from your characters entirely and allows the person who is under the effects to still have control over their character.

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These are the issues that we found with the semblance. Feel free to PM me if you have any concerns or questions.