[TENKESH]

CHARACTER

Name: Matih Mera

Age: 17

Species and Gender: Human, Male

Symbol: A sword hilt with a shield instead of blade

Occupation: 1st year student at beacon

Appearance: A small guy with a very delicate frame. his face is soft with large amounts of freckles under his eyes but surprisingly tanned skin and an orange scarf around his neck. He has long straight red hair falling just bellow his shoulders. His clothes are rather large and unfitting  wearing an orange t shirt and white jeans with a white dress shirt over top and then a large white robe over the top of that.

History: From a small fishing village off the west coast of Vale. Matih was always very close to his family. His parents were hunters and there parents before them. so he new from about the age of three what he was going to do with his life and was even the first to discover his semblance, as disappointing as it was. One day when he was 7 years old his parents went away for a mission and he was living with his Aunt a knock was heard at the front door, when he opened it he found his parents squad mate standing at the door holding his parents weapons with tears rolling down his eyes. After this moment it almost scared him away from the entire thing. For years he seemed to wander around with no idea what to do until one day an alarm was set off, a Grimm was attacking his town and before he even knew what was happening it was standing right in front of him mauling someone he barely knew but something re-awoke inside of him right at that moment and he charged right at it and punched it square in the jaw. The Grimm replied in kind knocking him unconscious and Shredding his neck. He woke up in a hospital bed with the inability to speak but something else. He was going to be a huntsman again. Armed with his parents weapons and a handheld white board he felt like he could do anything, so he made into beacon.

Personality: With everything Matih has gone through he has learned to see the positive in every situation. Living his entire life so far in a close knit community he has trouble speaking to new people and often seems way too forward ( which is surprisingly hard to do when you speak with a white board.) Being an honest person, he finds it extremely hard to tell if someone is lying or being sarcastic. With no ability to show sarcasm or obvious ways to show emotion in his voice he is known to either be very nice or very blunt but will always try to do right by people.

Aura and Semblance: Matih's aura is a very pale orange and is otherwise very average.His semblance was surprisingly disappointing when discovered but he has figured out how to take full advantage of it. He has the ability to drastically increase the strength of a single hit (almost 5x) but doing this consumes almost his all his stamina as well as his strength for a short period of time (10 minutes) leaving him unconscious.


Combat Behavior: With his light nature and baggy clothing it looks likes he almost floats around the battle field. With the size of his weapons he is often over balanced and rather slow. With rather elegant movements it almost seems taunting when he dodges enemies attacks. He often plays a more defensive role in combat having the ability to easily create and destroy cover and platforms. While alone he will always wait for his opponent to come to him, no matter how long it takes. Having not had many battles against things other then Grimm he often does not expect ranged weapons and is easily caught off guard when they are used. His semblance allows him to turn the tide of a battle with only one swing but afterwards he has no more ability to fight.

WEAPON

Name: Cinta and Perang

Primary Form: They are weapons that normally take the from of a normal two-handed sword and shield. The shield(Cinta) is a normal slightly curved White rectangle with a sword logo imprinted on the front. the Sword(Perang) is a long sword with an orange blade and a small shield engraved onto the hilt.

Secondary Form: they both have the ability to transform into there exact opposites. The sword becomes a shield by expanding outwards and having the hilt fold inwards to create a handle and brace.and the shield becomes a sword by elongating and folding over itself to make the handle and brace create the hilt while the rest becomes the blade.

Dust Functions: Cinta, while in shield form has the ability to create a larger Rock barrier  in front of it that only lasts for a short time before crumbling using earth dust.and Perang while in Sword form has the ability to super heat the blade to cut through rock with ease using fire dust for about 2 minutes. He can do each of these 4 times per battle.

History: These weapons were those of his parents and were passed down to him after there deaths. They were crafted together by his parents who had known each other since primary school and thought it would be cool if they had the same weapon.

[Uncouth T-Rex]

Alright, so looks like you're stuck with me taking a gander at your profile, buddy.

Tenkesh, hello and welcome aboard by the way, I'm Uncouth T-Rex, Official Forum Dad, Author of Ill-Repute with a whole bunch of terrible characters. I also help out with reviews.

So let's start out with some basics I picked up on my first pass and go from there later on.

1) I would recommend changing the hair length, and also telling me what color it is. Hair that long is a massive pain to deal with, and it's always a liability in any sort of combat, especially close-quarters which is what your character seems to prefer. I wouldn't go any longer than mid-back or shoulder-length, for common sense's sake.

2) I'd ditch the metal plate. It's impractical for what you want it to do and would look clunky. I recommend either an actual scarf, or if you still want the metal route, you can always try something like this guy wears, which would double as armor too.



Now for things I like. I'm digging the White Board usage, it'll be entertaining to see. I also really, really like his weapons and how tactical they can become. They're also not ranged, which is rare and fun to play with.

[TENKESH]

Fixed up his appearance section to deal with the problems you had.I Wrote most of it while tired and just thought of things that would make him stand out. Appreciate the review.

[Uncouth T-Rex]

Next question, by how much does his semblance increase his strength and speed, and how heavily does this tax him? Is there a cooldown time?

[TENKESH]

Added numbers to the things that needed numbers.

[Uncouth T-Rex]

Let's all appreciate the fact that I considered asking you to describe a mute character's voice for a moment.

Seems good now, but don't be afraid as your skills improve to come back and flesh out appearance, personality, and history later on.

+1

[Xarias Fury]

The semblance seems a little too vague for me, care to elaborate a bit more? So his father has strength and speed whilst his mother has this energy explosion? Basically he gets super fast, stronger AND an energy explosion?  I suggest you make clarify just how much stronger and faster he gets and how much damage or whatnot that energy blast does. Frankly I think you should stick with something that's more relatad to each other. Energy explosion plus strength and speed sounds like two different things, and even if you justify that it comes from his parents you don't really see other students in the RWBY series having multiple powers just from inheriting it. If that were the case than 100 generations later they'd be gods with the amount of abilities they have. You also state that he can create an explosion for 30 seconds? How does that work? A constant exploding thing? Explosions are spontaneous and instant, barely lasting a second at most for such a small scale. Elaborate.

Please clarify the semblance and maybe be more selective. I don't think I'll be able to pass this thing with two different powers with no correlation to one another.

Combat Behavior. Clothes won't be ripped during battle because he'll be protected by aura. A person's aura would prevent any damage to the user's objects, including clothes and maybe also weapons. Also, let me remind you that dodging every single thing is highly unrealistic because even the fastest characters we know on the show (Ruby and Weiss to name a few) also get hit fairly often during battle. I advise you not use this in future rp's as an excuse to dodge every single strike without due analysis of the actions being performed as well as the position and current action of your own character. Also, ballerinas are actually not that graceful and have rather restricted postures and movements. Just saying because there's the common misconception that ballerinas are free flowing magical creatures when in reality they're highly trained and orthodox dancers with rarely any change in technique save for use in contemporary   dance( or something along those lines.)

[TENKESH]

I have tried to fix up the problems you had with the combat behavior by removing the fact that his clothing is ripped and removing the reference to ballerinas, but I am still confused by what you meant when you talked about dodging. No where did I write that he had the ability to dodge all things, I slimply described the way he dodges. I tried to fix this by rewording the phrase and generally adding to his combat behavior.

As for his Semblance. it is said that he has a mixture of his parents abilities, not both. It then states what his ability is. the ability to gain an increase to strength (3x normal) and speed for about 30 seconds, every day. I didn't know a better way to reword it so I left it as is, thinking ou just skimmed it or something.

[Xarias Fury]

The wording on the semblance threw me off since I don't see a correlation between energy bursts and physical stat increase. Anyways, basically he could move three times stronger and hit three times harder for 30 seconds max each day with no strain? It's kind of a thing where strain happens when using powers, sure it's not super evident with Ruby and Weiss at times but it was still there, having little to no drain is unfair.

And speaking of unfair by the uber dodger thing I was mentioning earlier I was merely giving an example of what often happens during pvp threads. Not saying that you WOULD do it but just giving a heads up that it's overly common for someone to dodge a lot and not get hit at all by using their profile as a vague basis. Hopefully it never comes to that.

Anyways, I think adding a drain on the semblance is all that's needed for now. Though thirty seconds continuously is kinda a lot, since we usually don't even see Ruby bursting for more than a few at most, then again she's like super fast. Anyways, add a drain, I might discuss the whole time and limit thing with other mods.

[TENKESH]

i decided to change his semblance completely as I have fallen out of love with it over time and instead changed it to be much more exclusive to what I was going to use his old one for anyway. I tried to make it more balanced by taking more inspiration from My Hero Academia, which if you cant tell is the main inspiration for him.

[Xarias Fury]

Sorry for the delay, stuff came up recently.

Now back to the semblance

It seems fine now but if his entire aura is drained after that strike wouldn't that leave him defenseless? You CAN technically use stamina as a gauge now, therefore not depleting your aura, and it'll be so that he won't die if someone shot him in the head after using it. He'd just lie there like a rag-doll. XD

Change from aura to stamina basically. Don't want them students getting shot in the face because their aura is down for half a minute.

[TENKESH]

Donezo

[Xarias Fury]

Looking good, i think.

Approved