Author Topic: Alistar umbris (Ready for approval)  (Read 1522 times)

Mewmaster

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Alistar umbris (Ready for approval)
« on: November 09, 2017, 09:35:55 PM »
CHARACTER

Name: Alistair Umbras

Age: 17

Species and Gender: Spider fanus with fangs that have a mild paralytic poison and solid black eyes.

Symbol:  Black and white background with a pair of swords crossed over each other a spider with each of its legs going in different direction to the edge of the circle.

Occupation: first year student at beacon academy.

Appearance: hair down, Alistair has a mess of black curly hair that only has one setting of and that is wild. He constantly has on a pair of sunglasses that hide his eyes from the world and around his neck he wears a sliver chain that on the end has a curved x symbol on it as well as his weapon Twin Gale's Howl which in base form has a pair of scabbards that are strapped to each side of his hip. Build wise he is about 5'6 and a bit on the leaner side with some muscular structure that is built up from a lot of pulling back on his bow. On his off days he wears a t-shirt, usually black or red with white mixed in if he feels like it and has a mixed black and white jacket on over the shirt. He tends to wear a variety of colors of jeans ranging from lighter blues to deep black. And a strapped to his left leg is a black dagger with a white hilt that appears to have to two straps crossing over the holster in a x shape. And he really likes his black combat boots.

School uniform wise he just adds his necklace and sunglasses.

Combat gear he still wears the necklace and sunglasses and t-shirt but adds a black long coat instead of his normal jacket. Under each jacket sleeve is a metal bracer that contains a wrist crossbow that fires, depending on the arm (fire right and ice left), a dust loaded bolt. He has on black pants and the dagger is strapped on as well with a large quiver on his back full of a variety of arrows. The quiver is separated into three sections that are: normal arrow types, dust loaded, and dust loaded arrowhead types like gravity dust plus armor penetration. The long coat itself is reinforced to act as armor and on the left side coat sleeve in particular is tougher as to protect his arm when firing his bow.

History: Being born to human hating fanus family, with both of his parents being fanus of the spider kind, did not help much with his early childhood days in how he was taught to hate and desire the death of the humans who treated the fanus as lesser beings. For longest time he believed the teaching and was taught by his father at the age of six on how to fight using a pair of short swords as they strike the quickest in the night.

When he was eight, he was taken to his first rally and was shown what power they had as one unit against oppression and just as quickly as the rally started it turned violent and he was shown what some humans really felt about fanus. During the rally turned riot he was forced to defend himself and he succeed at the cost of the opposing rioters life. It awoke a part of him that craved violence and he accepted for a time. During this time he went to more riots and attacks on humans, and loved every minute of it.

That changed when he was twelve and humans wanting revenge for an attack that had happened a couple of days before, decided to do the style of an eye for an eye. They found Alistair's family and killed all of them except the child, for at first when they entered the house and took out the father and the mother; they could not find the third member. Until they found one their comrades dead upstairs after he went upstairs to clear it out. They found a child shaking barely holding himself together and when he looked up he had eyes that glowed a unnatural bright green and in a moments he took the other two out when after one fired a scared shot at this demon in flesh. After killing them in self-defense he blanked out and woke up in a cell at a police station.   

The police later came to find a child crying over his parents bodies and three bodies upstairs, all stab wounds and all dead fro the teen's blades. They arrested the child and to their surprise he did not resist what so ever. Across from the teen was a cat fanus dressed like a doctor and she asked simple questions like, "What is your name," and, "how are you feeling." She slowly started asking more complex questions about his past and Alistair calmly answered each question with complete honesty. At the end of the session she asked, "Do you know what happened yesterday after three intruders entered your home?"

In response he stated, " All I remember was a scream and then nothing until this cell of stone."

She said thank you and then left. It was long wait then she reentered the cell to inform that he was a victim of hate and that her name was Violet Bloom and she had a offer for him to either of stay in the cell to await his fate or to come with her and see the world for what it really is. After a long pause, he agreed to go with her. Over the next year she showed him the world, the wonders and pain it had within it. From Mistral to Vale it opened his eyes to the world. After learning from a teacher at Signal that his aura was unlocked, Ms. Blossom signed him up for Signal and since then he has grown to the point he is now at Beacon.

Personality: He is in a word, unusual, but at his core he is curious about the world that he was hidden from. When around humans he does not know he hides behind his emotional barriers and acts distant and blunt to a point. He also tends to not talk a lot to most humans as he wishes to hide the fact that he is a fanus since he fears rejection and pain. To fanus and humans he knows well, he is man known for his passion for inventing and loves to joke around and play harmless pranks on his friends. He tends to spend free time creating various things that sometimes work, like his wrist crossbows and the Twin Gale's Howl. He also causes a variety accidents when he is careless like the time he tried to create tech that would allow him to climb things and he got stuck on the ceiling for a little too long, he dropped that project because of the amount of failures that came from it. The curiosity about the world around him comes at the cost of asking questions that may seem odd like, "How does your sembalance affect your body when you use it?" This comes from that fact he wishes to understand how everything around him works for himself since for so long he was taught to believe one way and now he is free of that.
As a student Alistair excels at practical classes, since that is what he enjoys most and he will put forth all that he can offer for those classes. In more theory based Alistair has the tendency to be bouncing his foot for it bores him not to have something in his hands to do. He does well enough in the more theory based classes to get by but he can be seen in history classes muttering things about fanus history when the teacher starts speaking about the Human-Fanus war. When he gets extremely bored he pulls out a notebook and starts sketching weapon ideas as to pass the time.
Alistair sometimes lacks social logic in how he goes about normal things like not asking about private matters or eating in odd ways, mainly hands on food for meat.
He considers his training to be a hunter as a sort of penance for his past and to honor the dead by living for them and defending both humans and fanus.

Aura and Semblance: The aura that Alister has is light green in color.
Gale Burst: by pushing himself to his limits he can temporarily enhance his speed to point of moving at 70mph and striking much faster then usual. Problem is that is if he is not holding back and not bursting it for a quick strike and at most, before entering into schooling, 30 seconds is the time limit before he will most likely pass out. Alistair prefers to burst it for a quick couple of strikes and that will leave him a little drained but still capable of fighting more. When he uses it for a quick burst it creates a small aura wind around him. During full bursts it creates currents of aura that hover around his arms and legs.

Combat Behavior:  Before he entered Signal, he had little formal training in terms of fighting except instruction from his father and riot fighting and was rusty on how to fight. He now fights with a dual blade style preferring to reverse grip both blades to surprise strike his enemies then switching a mix of reverse and normal grips to act as a whirlwind of blows to keep his opponents off balance. He tends to hit harder with his right hand and faster with his left since the two blades are weighted differently. He lacks the sheer strength to blow away his opponents so he relays on bursts of his semblance and attacks from multiple angles to win. He tries to win quickly as he lacks the amount stamina needed to do a long brawl that some hunters can do.

When using maelstrom he tends to use as a bladed quarterstaff to keep opponents off-balance but lacks the finesse that he has with the twin blades as he has not as much training with the secondary form as his primary form and the bow.

His bow is where he truly shines as he quickly picked up understanding of the bow and he prefers to use it to the other forms as he fights for a distance and not up close and personal. He is still working on the dust arrows as that can still cause unforeseen incidents. Like earth dust arrow at a human causing rock to form around them.

WEAPON

Name: Twin Gale's Howl

Primary Form: Twin Gale's howl
Right short sword
Zephyr: the scabbard is black on the left side and white on the right split vertically by a red streak up the the middle that leads up to hilt of zephyr. The hilt is black with the handle being a mix of grey and white twirling up to the pommel which is not there and instead is a odd looking black key like item. The blade itself when drawn is solid black steel with a thin white line down the middle of the blade.

Left short sword
Tempest: the scabbard is the inverse of zephyr with the black on the right and white on the left still being spilt by a red streak. The handle is wrapped with grey and white and the pommel is a small grey sphere with key shaped hole in the top of it.  Blade itself is solid black steel with a thin white line down the middle.

Secondary Form: Twin Gale's howl
Maelstrom : When the two short swords are clicked together they create a short double ended quarterstaff. By gripping the handles tightly and pulling in opposite directions the short spear becomes a double blade quarterstaff that can be used to push enemies back.

Tertiary Form: Twin Gale's Howl
Jet-Stream
When Alister's inserts the key of Zephyr into the pommel of Tempest, with the two blades and twists a clicking noise is heard as the blades lock into place. The blade combo is then snapped forward as along both blades as they start to bend into a bow and all down to the pommel a part pops open and bowstring appears out to make a bladed longbow.

Dust Functions: Base line: no, the amount things needed to make the weapons operate correctly left no room to add a dust container area.
Jet-stream however uses arrows and that creates the opportunity to make arrows tipped or laced with different dusts.
Main dust used are as following:
Fire: explosions and rocket jumps, he yells rocket jump when he does this.
Air: Launch people and himself around.
Ice: Make things chill out in one spot.
Gravity: Heavier= more puncturing power.
Fire/air mix: bigger boom

History: Alistair developed it to be a variety of things to represent both his past and his new life with the variety that it now holds.

Sidearms
Frozen Wail
Hiding underneath his left sleeve is a icy blue colored wrist cross-bow that is attached to a icy blue bracer that with a flick of his wrist it appears out of his sleeve to fire an ice dust loaded bolt to slow down the enemy.

Burning sorrow
Underneath his right arm on a bracer as well is a firey red bracer and wrist cross-bow that fires off a fire dust loaded bolt.

With both of the crossbows they only have one shot in each of them so Alistair uses them as a last resort to stop or knock down an enemy to regroup.

History:
Alistair developed the dual crossbows to act as a back up to Twin Gale that allowed him to get the drop on his enemies with a quick surprise strike.

Gear:
Small tool kit to make things on the go.
It includes a small welding torch, pair of googles, spool of twine that has about 5ft worth, pliers, small crowbar, small wrench and chocolate. 
Quiver of arrows that include: grapple arrows, normal arrows, armor penetration arrows, dust loaded arrows that mix gravity and AP and the arrow types included above that tells what dust types are most often used.
Dagger that has the symbol of the white fang on it that Alistair picked up off a White Fang member he fought. He uses to get into White Fang places when needed. He keeps double locked into his left leg as to make sure no one get to it easily.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2017, 05:09:32 PM by Mewmaster »

nathan67003

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Re: Alistar umbris
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2017, 05:52:27 AM »
Go get the template here.
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Re: Alistar umbris (open to suggestions)
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2017, 12:49:56 PM »
Hey welcome, thank you for using the template I'll just jump straight into it to give some advice.

So about the history 1) Being a Faunus requires another Faunus in the family so unless his mother was unfaithful, which would be pretty obvious, how is Alistair a Faunus? 2)Why would the humans kill Alistair's family when they also hate Faunus? Like surely they would turn him over the moment they heard what he had done.

Other than that there are a few grammatical issues so I would run through it again or use Grammarly or something other tool. Still very good job for your just character.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

Mewmaster

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Re: Alistar umbris (open to suggestions)
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2017, 07:52:32 AM »
Fixed the family problem and added a reason why the humans attacked the family. I also added describations for the crossbows that were on Alistair. Also put in how he acts as a student.