Hi there, welcome to the site! It's always good to have new members come in. Before I get into the review, we have a discord server where it's much easier to get in contact with mods for help with character creation and things like that, and it can be found
here. Other than that, it looks like you've found everything alright, so let's get right into it.
I know this is still in WiP, so I'm just going to comment on what you have so far. Before I begin, I'd recommend looking through some of the approved profiles to get a general gist of what we're looking for. Anyways, on to the review
First thing to note is that a first-person perspective for profiles is unusual; in fact, mostly everything on site is done in third-person. If you want to do first-person, that's fine, it won't detract from anything, it's just something to keep in mind.
On the age, our site currently has the "present year" as year 80, and currently Ashlee's profile implies she was literally just born. You don't really need to worry about putting the year, just the month and day and her current age is more than enough.
In Occupation, you'll need to specify
which Combat Academy Ashlee will be attending, as well as which year.
Appearance is mostly fine, however, you'll need to write out more detail for her clothes. As useful as images are, this is a site that relies on writing, so I'm going to have to ask for more than "it looks like this picture". It doesn't need to be incredibly detailed (appearances are a personal weakness of mine), but it does need to be enough that we can get an image in our head without looking at a picture.
In Ashlee's history, you say "they" put her in an "advanced shooting class". First of all, who is "they", and who is teaching this class? If I may make a suggestion, you have a section where you mention Ashlee hunting with her dad. Instead of some mysterious figure teaching some class that exists maybe, perhaps Ashlee learned to shoot from her dad? It gives more credence to the idea that she's a gifted sniper vs playing "sniper games", in my humble opinion. Moving on, Ashlee is apparently from Mantle, but went to school at Signal, which is on the island of Patch (According to the RWBY wiki). I'm assuming she didn't commute there from Mantle, but you make no mention of moving to Vale, nor why she chose to attend a school that far away from home. Finally, Ashlee apparently has an injury from a fight that left a tiny scar. Since this injury facilitates one of her weaknesses (more on that later), I'd like to ask for more details on
why and
how it's still affecting her years later.
On to Personality. Frankly, you need more. Personalities can't be summed up in two sentences. If you're struggling with what to put here, consider what she likes to do for fun, or perhaps her feelings on family and friends. Since she's apparently from Atlas, she probably has an opinion on Faunus and the White Fang, and possibly even Dust Companies. Does she like being clean, or does she like getting her hands dirty? How does she feel about Grimm? There are plenty of ways to expand and elaborate here.
A'ight, the semblance. So first off, saying it's "like Blake's" isn't enough of an initial description, at least in my book. You'll have to describe how it looks when she uses it, how it appears, things like that. And, regarding aura detection, the template specifically says, "Detection: A 'sixth sense', the ability to detect nearby Grimm or Aura. This ability is always vague, and
cannot grant specific details such as number of targets, or exact location", so I'll have to ask you to change that. Also, you're more than welcome to have a character theme for Ashlee, but background music is not a function of aura.
Moving back to the semblance itself, you're going to need to explain how often Ashlee can use it, how many clones she can have up at a time, how long these clones can last, how durable they are (or explain if they're intangible) Regarding the specific dust effects, I going to have to ask you to nerf the Wind and Lightning effects. Sending everyone flying within 25 meters is overkill. You don't need to put exact numbers, but I'd highly recommend toning it down significantly. As for Lightning, an on-command cripple effect like that is incredibly strong. I'd recommend toning it down to something like a heavy slow at the worst.
Combat Behavior, like Personality, is going to need much more elaboration. First of all, we generally have a benchmark of three to four weaknesses, and you've only listed two. You also need to describe how she fights as well. For instance, you mentioned in Ashlee's history that she's a sniper. Okay, does that mean she likes to hang out in the back of fights to take out enemies from afar? Or is she one of those new-fangled "melee snipers" that likes to shoot things at point blank? Does she like to move around a lot, or does she prefer holing up in one place and camping out? Does she struggle in contests of pure strength? Or maybe nimble opponents are her bane? If she likes to use stealth, does using her semblance give her away?
Also, regarding the "weakpoint" weakness she currently has, it won't really be evident to most characters, and I feel like that weakness can be negated with a bit of clever armor design. I won't say remove it, but I'd recommend considering weaknesses that develop more organically from her fighting style.
As for the weapon, is it basically just Crescent Rose with a different color scheme? Because if it is, I'm pretty sure that won't fly. One of the first things you'll read in the Character Creation rules is "Originality. Don't copy characters created by others. This includes characters on this site and characters from other sources. Create your own unique character. Alluding to a character or theme is acceptable." I'm going to have to ask you to create a bit more distinction between Sand-Fall and Crescent Rose. Also, in the tertiary form, you mention that Ashlee can swing the blade faster because it's "light". Keep in mind that the weapon will weigh the same in between forms (unless, of course, the weapon separates into two parts, but I don't see anywhere that specifies that).
As for the dust effects, I'm going to have to ask you to change the Ice dust section. Aura will (generally) protect the skin from bullets and slashes and things like that. You can change it to partially freezing a limb, and that should be fine. I'm also going to have to ask for a range nerf on the stun on the Lightning effect. Personally, I'd recommend you tone it down to a brief, single target stun.
Anyways, I think that's about it. Like I said, if you have any questions, feel free to join us on discord.