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Messages - jjb2158

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Approved Characters / Re: Jane Green
« on: October 29, 2019, 06:08:07 PM »
My apologies for the approval process taking this long!

There are a couple things I was wondering about, but seeing that this is your first character, I'm not going to be nitpicky about them. It's nice seeing another character from the Mahava Plains (I have one myself).

Anyways, I think you're good to go so...Approved 2 of 2. Happy RPing!

MiA Characters / Re: Carmine DeMarco
« on: August 19, 2019, 12:15:28 AM »
Moved to MIA.

MiA Characters / Re: Bordeaux Page Alderson
« on: March 21, 2019, 01:12:23 AM »
Works for me. Approved 2 of 2 and moved. Happy RPing!

MiA Characters / Re: Bordeaux Page Alderson
« on: March 18, 2019, 06:43:39 PM »
Well, I guess it's about time I come back into reviewing characters. Overall, everything seems fine, but there is only one minor thing that is bugging me.

In regards to his weapon: It says that the whip is 9-ft in length, but then can straighten out to be the barrel of his gun. Are you saying then that his gun is over 9 feet in length? If that is the case, then how would he wield that? I would suggest you explain this part better.

That's about all I can see in regards to this character. Well done.

The Vale Region / Re: Frostbite [Closed]
« on: July 10, 2018, 01:12:58 PM »
Watching Nicolas take the brunt of the attack and fall to the ground, Savas tried taking a step towards his opponent, but his already weakened legs from the use of his semblance gave out and he feel onto one of his knees. Sensing that the fight would almost be finished, he decided to take this moment to catch his breath. "Shall we call this fight as a draw or do you want to keep going?" he growled, chest heaving as he slowly calmed down his heartbeat.

Using Halvanhelev as a type of crutch, Savas mustered himself up and leaned against the sword. "Ngggrh...I must either be out of shape or your attacks hurt more than they appear" he muttered, his deep voice resonating through the area. Taking the opportunity to look around, he finally noticed a small crowd of people watching from a distance. Surely, the dust attacks had drew some attention and so Savas did his best to stand without using his weapon for support in hopes of looking a little more composed.

One by one, the Beowolves slowly were taken down. However, for every beast that disintegrated, another one quickly took it's place.

As eight of the Grimm disappeared from Billy's attack, two of them survived and slowly got back up and joined the other eight that closed in. With fangs and claws bared, the first two in front lunged at Billy while she was still reloading, while the others quickly followed behind them.

Taking a heavy hit on its skull, the Beowolf crumpled and faded away from Smokey's attack. As short-lived the victory over that attack could be, the remaining seventeen closed in, with four of them swinging their claws at Smokey. The other Grimm came towards Smokey by trying to flank him on both sides.

With a frigid blast, the first three Beowolves froze solid from Kiros attack with the others partially freezing. Clawing through the ice, the others began to break through their entrapment and slowly circle around the ones that were still frozen solid.

As Serin charged through the incoming Grimm, the one he shot with his arrow faltered and fell to the ground, slowly dissolving into nothing. With the one being stabbed slowly dying off and another one pinned down, the remaining five proceeded to circle around Serin before lunging at him with fangs bared at him.

Watching all this take place, Oberon continued to make his way down the path, purposefully slowing down his pace slightly so as to at least give the first year students a fighting chance. It was at that moment that a large Ursa broke through the forest with a roar. Spotting Oberon, it clawed at the ground briefly before charging straight at the professor. "Oh no...whatever shall I do?" he responded loudly with much sarcasm dripping from the comment. Let's see what the students do now... he thought, readying his shields in the even that he has to take the hit from the Grimm.

So, to make things a little bit clearer, here's what I'm seeing right now:

  • Serin is in the front taking on the remaining 6 Beowolves as well as the 1 Ursa that has appeared
  • Mikado is on the left side taking on the 21 remaining Beowolves (Wasn't sure if you were on the right or left so I wrote you as on the left side.)
  • Billy is on the right side taking on the remaining 10 Beowolves
  • Smokey is in the rear with 17 remaining Beowolves

Let me know if that is correct or if I need to do any changes.

Approved Characters / Re: Alexander Noire
« on: June 29, 2018, 03:59:22 PM »
I still think it can use more details, but I won't make a big deal about it.

Approved 2 of 2 and moved.

Watching as each student did their best to take down the oncoming wave of Grimm, Oberon continued his nonchalant stroll through the fight. Seeing the first Grimm get wiped out by both Billy and Serin's attack, Oberon smiled and kept strolling along. Not bad he thought as he continued to take note of the team's battle formation and style. Looking over his shoulder briefly, he made a note on Smokey's rather impressive firepower. Hopefully the team can hold off the next few waves he thought as it was clear that this was simply the scouts of a much larger pack.

Holding his pen and notepad in one hand, Oberon pulled his canteen out and took a sip of the still hot coffee inside. It was at that moment that a deep, loud howl echoed loudly through the forest, followed by another barrage of softer howls. Looks like the Alpha is nearby he thought, writing down again in his notepad as he continued to walk onward. Maybe it would like to come out and play he wondered as the next wave of Beowolves came out, replacing the ones that were taken down. With nothing stopping them, the ten Beowolves on the left lunged at both Billy and Oberon, their teeth and claws bared, seeking blood.

  • Beowolves: 20 dead. 10 on the right with 8 more coming behind. 21 coming from the left. 18 coming from behind. 9 coming from ahead.
  • Howls can still be heard from afar as well as a few deep growls.

Approved Characters / Re: Alexander Noire
« on: June 22, 2018, 10:57:33 AM »
As King stated, with this being your fourth character, I will be a bit more critical of things so here we go:

This section doesn't give me enough details to really picture your character. Things like weight, skin tone, eye color, and things like that help better paint the picture for all of us who would interact with this character.

This section is also rather lacking as it primarily deals with how he is when he's working, but doesn't really talk about what he is like outside of work.

More details here would help also. Is there a cool down between uses? Is there any drawback to him using it excessively?

Overall, I don't see any real big issues with the character. The only issue is that it's lacking in detail, especially with this being your fourth character. Feel free to PM or talk to me on Discord if you have any questions.

Hearing the howls from afar as well as the team taking their defensive stance, Oberon smiled slightly as he took out a small notepad and jotted some notes down so he could grade them later. Being unfazed by the impending Grimm, Oberon simply stepped around Serin and continued walking onward, his face completely unfazed by the fact that he could be attacked at any moment. "By the way!" he called out, turning his head towards the four students. "I do want to be back home in time for dinner so don't expect me to stop."

It was at that moment, as Oberon had his head turned from the front of the group, that a large beowolf jumped out from the forest with its claws raised and fangs bared. Its intent was simple: attack and devour Oberon. As it that was the signal, dozens of other beowolves came growling out of the forest in hopes of ambushing their prey.

  • Beowolves: 1 in the front, 10 coming from both the left and right, and 9 coming from the rear.
  • More howls can be heard from all around the group.

The Vale Region / Re: Frostbite [Closed]
« on: June 22, 2018, 10:35:58 AM »
Watching Nicolas thwart the lightning attack, Savas could only brace himself as the wall crashed into him, pushing him back a few feet. It was at that moment that his semblance came to an end and he took a moment to catch his breath. However, it was short-lived as Nicolas took that moment to fly into the air and fire three fireballs straight at him.

Cursing under his breath, Savas threw himself to the left, dodging two of the fireballs, but getting hit on his side by the third one, causing him to grunt as he knew his aura would dwindle from the attack. Pushing himself up as best as he could, he swung his sword and activated the lightning dust crystal once more. Try dodging this in mid-air he thought, shooting another lightning bolt straight at Nicolas. With the lightning dust crystal completely depleted along with the wind dust crystal, he only had a fire, earth, and one more wind dust crystal left in the hilt. Let's just hope I won't have to use it all up in this fight he thought as he got back up to his feet and readied for another barrage from Nicolas.

  • Semblance: Deactivated. Five minute cool down.
  • Aura: 67%

"You may try and shove me, Smokey, but I would advise against it" Oberon replied, smirking at the lad. Watching as the others discussed their strategies and took their positions to guard him, Oberon continued to stroll through the forest and admire the scenery. He couldn't help but remember his years training to become a huntsman and all the hardships he went through with his team, particularly his teammate who became his wife. Smiling as he could still sense her from afar, he wondered if the children had awaken yet. They were the type to get up early for breakfast and so he figured his wife was busy caring for their kids.

A basic plan Oberon thought as he assessed what Serin set in place. It allowed them to easily defend him should they be attacked. However, there were some flaws to it in that they would only be focusing on their last line of defense and not have a farther area of defense. Looking at the dragon construct, he also wondered how the connection between Kiro and Mikado worked as to whether Mikado could see what Kiro sees or not. If it is the latter, then having Kiro look for Grimm would be pointless in that it wouldn't be able to say anything about what it sees nor could Mikado see it either. The holes in the plan weren't extreme, but the consequences that could happen could make or break this mission. Regardless, Oberon acknowledged the fact that at least Serin was trying his best as the team leader to keep his teammates safe as well as the goal of the mission in mind.

Before Oberon could say anything, the hair on the back of his neck prickled as he felt a sudden sensation of being watched. Looks like the Grimm are around he thought with a slight smile. We'll just have to see whether this plan works out or not. It was in that moment that a loud howl could be heard in the distance, followed by dozens of howls.

Observing each member's expression, Oberon couldn't help but smirk slightly as they all seemed somewhat disappointed on how seemingly easy this mission would be. Activating his semblance, he proceeded to pin each of them so he could keep track of them. Turning to Billy first, he merely smiled at her as he pinned her with his semblance, watching her glow white in his view. "I would hate the ruin the surprise of you finding out what it could possibly be. Just know that it is related to the Academy and is of utmost importance that we bring it in. As for your question, Smokey..." he said, turning to Smokey and pinning him with the same white glow. "Yes, you will be treating me as someone to escort. I can guarantee you that there will be Grimm that you'll run into and there will be many. However, keep in mind that, should things go bad, I will intervene. This does bring up one thing: there are two ways in which you will fail this mission. First, if I deem that you are all unfit to complete the mission and have to intervene, I will not hesitate to fail your mission." Smirking again, though more wickedly this time he turned to the other two and pinned them also as he continued talking. "Second, if I get hit by any Grimm, big debris, or blast from any of your weapons, that will also dictate a fail." Taking a puff from his cigar, he savored the warmth it provided before letting out the smoke through his nostrils. "With all that said, let's proceed shall we?" With that said, he began his morning stroll down the path towards the mine with his hands clasped behind his back with no sense of urgency or peril.

Approved Characters / Re: Joshua Schwarz (Ready for Approval)
« on: June 05, 2018, 12:47:37 PM »
Sorry for the delay here....real life has been hectic this past week. Overall, I still think the semblance can use some more explanation, but I think it's decent enough to pass.

Approved 2 of 2. Happy RPing.

OOC: Sorry for the delay! Yesterday was my final for college so I was preoccupied by that.

Nodding to the final two that joined them, Oberon took one last puff from his cigar and proceeded to smothering it out by pressing it against his calloused hand. Flicking the remains of it away, He stood up and inspected each student before speaking. "Glad of you to join us Mr Avery" he replied simply. "With everyone here, we can go ahead and proceed with the briefing." Clasping his hands behind his back, he cleared his throat before continuing. "Today's mission is a simple escorting mission. You will be escorting me through the Emerald Forest to a small mining community about five miles away where I will be picking up an item to take back to Beacon." Pacing back and forth slowly before the students, he used it as an opportunity to look at each student as he paused to let it sink in briefly. "I'm sure each of you may find this mission a bit lacking and tedious. However, we had just received a report that the Grimm have been restless as of late and have been seen in more frequent numbers. This is why the school decided to use this as an opportunity for a first year team to help dwindle the number down." Taking another pause, he stopped his pacing and folded his arms across his chest. "You are authorized to use whatever weapons or skills you have to take down any and all Grimm that comes our way." Focusing his penetrating gaze first on Smokey and then on Mikado, he continued. "Just don't burn the forest down." Smirking slightly, he pulled another cigar out and proceeded with lighting it. "Any questions before we head out? I'd personally like to be back before dinner." Taking a deep breath, he blew out a steady stream of smoke as he arched an eyebrow, waiting for any questions they might ask.

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