She took courses to learn how to make and modifie weapons and with 16 years she made her masterpiece Demanon.
First thing noticeable are some minor grammatical and punctuation errors. If possible reread the profile and adjust the unnecessary capital letters and all that jazz.Well, my gramma isn´t that good in general, but I tried to fix most of it Oh, and I edit the captial letters to small ones
Symbol however seems odd for the theme, would have expected a chocolate bar or something else at first glance.I did actually planned to use https://vramon249.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/chocolate.png (http://Link) but i wanted something in black and white but when I searched for something like this the results which were shown to me just didn´t fit in my opinion
Town doesn't seem to be a real thing in canon and we don't have any such named towns in our worldbuilds. Might be safer to just say " a small town to the west of vale" or something similar
I assume you mean by the age 16 and not 16 years of weapon making and training. The way it's written makes it a tad bit confusing. Please edit accordingly. Also it would.be adviseable to have her actually attend an initial combat academy where all the basics of weapin making and fighting would be covered. Unless you're planning on throwing her into Beacon with self training alone. Thats a bit unlikely.
The nature of the examination isn't exactly what usually happens. In fact we don't really know per se but in general it's expected to be akin to normal written exams and then an initiationOkay, just removed it ;)
Personality seems fine, save for the sentence fragments and minor spelling errors and wall o' text again. Don't be afraid to use separate paragraphs for stuff.I hope it´s okay like this
A little suggestion though. She lost her parents and as a teen, her most emotional time in life, I'd expect something to come out of it. How did her parent's deaths affect her? Does remembering them trigger sadness or fond memories and determination?
Semblance. Again seems fine but the nausea thing could be lessebed to something like disorientation, seeing as how suddenly changing gravity would be weird. If you eabt to keep the nuasea I'd have to suggest amit affecting her as well but in all due honesty it's not really that needed.I changed it to only balance problems because others aren´t used to it
Now, big question hers. How do the portals close? Do they close up? or do they poof away? What happens if something is stil between the portals, like a limb or a stick or a hard piece of steel? Would the portal still be functionable or would it cut the object, eject the object then close, or something else? This is important just in case something gets stuck in it during a thread.
Can she make the portals hover in place? Can they stop at a specific place if she wanted to? Or do they need a flat surface like with the gane *Portal*?They can stay in the air, without an wall behind them
Belt transformation seems odd, and I'm guessing it breaks apart like a snake blade whip for storage? Please clarify.Belt? Maybe you prescribed, because the blade transforms and not the belt. Anyway, I´m not really sure how to descripe it better
Bow image looks reaaaaly complicated despite the initial form. Though I'd take that more as a placeholder I guess.I changed the immage ;)
Okay so everything before the portals seems okay now though you did forget to say what would happen if someone stayed inside the portal hole while it was closing or disappearing
Appearance:
With an hight of 1,65cm and a weight of 62kg, Kisha is in the average of an ‚normal‘ girl of her age. She has a pale skin color, brown eyes and a mix of different shades of brown colored, short hair. She has a round face, with a small nose and slightly big eyes.
History:
Kisha was born in a small village in the west of vale. She spend a lot of time with her grandparents (maternal) because her parents were often at work. They were huntsmen and huntress, but not just any. Kouta and Sy Miles were highly respected huntsmen and were always asked to do the most dangerous missions. They meet at beacon academy, got married and had a child, her. Her grandparents owned a Choclate shop, where she spend most of her time, helping to work. Thats were she got her nickname, Schoko. One of her friends started calling her like this, after saying she read in a book that schoko means chocolate in another language.
Even though Kisha didn't spend much time with her parents, she always looked up to them and she made her goal, to become a huntress just like them. She started practicing with a wooden sword when she was 9 and as a present for her 12 birthday her mother gave her a bow. She made herself an own schedule when to practice with what. At the age of 13 she enterd a combat school, even though she was good with her weapon already.
When she was 14 a message arrived at the chocolate shop. Both of her parents died on the mission they were participate in, together with 3 other huntsmen.
Although she was sad and depressed by her parents decease, she keept on training and looked forward. She new her parents didn´t want her to be sad for the rest of her life, even though remembering them will lead her to stop being that hyperactive for a while.
She took courses to learn how to make and modifie weapons and with the age of 16 she made her masterpiece Demanon. Right after that she sign in for the exam to be accepted to beacon academy.
Personality:
Kisha is a kind and helpful woman. She acts a bit hyperactive and never knows when to shut up, what can lead to her friends telling her that she's annoying, which she always takes really serious. She was never good with criticism. Kisha always tyries to see the positive side of things and is always up for a joke. Even if she doesn't like someone, she will go up to this person and help them, if they really need it. For her, friendship is one of the most important things in the world, and she would do everything to protect her friends, what leads to her loyalty. If you have her trust once, what isn’t hard to earn, you have it forever, or untill you betray her. She than completely breaks down and falls into a short but bad depression.
Even though she has a happy and silly nature she can be serious. If a fight takes a bad turn for her, her happiness shuts completely down and she tries everything to win. You can see similar reaction if somebody jokey about death or bullies people. She will probably forgive them in the end anyway, but untill than you really shouldn't mess with her.
For the student and learn part, she isn't the best option. Kisha often don't pay attention and is completely lost in thoughts while class. She also doesn't try hard with her studies. Her Motto is 'I trust my bad luck' and most of the time, she passes with an 2-3 (B-C)
Aura and Semblance:
Kisha’s semblace are portals.
It's rare, but sometimes a semblace can be inherited through the family. That's what happend to Kisha. She inherited the portals from her father
She Forms a circle with both hands creating a portal on each side. She than can throw them like a frisbie wherever she wants to and the portal will stay there, even if this place is midst in the air. Kisha can only create two portals at once. If she tries to create a third one, the first one will disappear. Everything and everyone can go through the portals but everyone besides Kisha will get balance problems, through not being used to it. Kisha also can decide the size of the portals, and how long they stay open. They don´t have a timelimit and leaving them open for a long time doesn´t effect Kishas endurance, but the bigger the portals are, the more exhausted she get. The biggest portal she can create is only big enough to fit three Humans at once. It may happen that the portals close while something or someone is still in there. If this Person or thing is more that 50% through the portal, it will being blast out of it, due to pressure. If the person is less than 50% in the portal it will be thrown back through the other portal.
She will also be exhausted if she creates to many portals after another. After making ten portals she needs a break, if she doesn't take one, she will collapse.
Combat Behavior:
Kisha never fought together with other people befor, which makes her more effective in a 1 vs 1 fight. She prefers to fight defensive rather than offensive which leads to her using her weapon in it's bow form befor turning it to her sword. One exceptions would be, if she don't have any cover from where to shoot. In a open field she will mostly likely uses her weapon in the sword form first.
Even though she never fought in a group she will be cooperative and will listen to her leader, but if she sees a better option for a plan herself, she will simple act on her own. Kisha is fast and maneuverable, which is important. She doesn't wear any armor and if she gets hit, the hit WILL leave a mark. Using her semblance in fights isn't rare either.
Even though she likes it more to keep her semblance a secret from the enemy (If it's a human. she doesn't care if it's a grimm) The portals help her keeping her distance or to block attacks. They can also work as an escape route for her and her teammates (Although the sideeffect will give them balance problems)
She is good in improvise plans and she is a good strategist, still, she wouldn't be good as a leader, because she hate's to give people orders.
WEAPON
Primary Form:
Demanon is in his primary Form a sword, a german "Zweihänder" to be exactly. It is wielded with both hands, is 130cm Long (80cm the Blade) and is 3cm wide. It weight 2 kg and the handle is made of light metal. Because of the length, it has a module where you can insert most of the blade, so that it can fit in a belt. Thanks to the module(s) It can also turn in his secondary Form. In the primary Form Demanon can not use dust
Fire arrows: The Arrow will make a small fire, Wherever it hits. It burns longer on meterial like wood or wool, than metall or stone, just like normal fire. It can’t be used in water or if it’s rainy.
Lightning arrows: As soon the arrow hits his target, the bodypart it hits will get in the area of 10cm² cramps, If it hits the head the person will get migraine
History:
Kisha’s parents died when she was 16. Even though she never had so much contact with them, she knew exactly which weapons they used. So she mad a duplicate of her fathers sword and her mothers Bow and fused them. It took some tries but in the end she made her masterpiece Demanon
The transformationen: Thanks to the modules the blade can reduce his length. A string will shoot out at the bottom of the handle and attaches itself to the tip of the blade. The Handle will, thanks to another module, extend and bend itself to the shape of an bow. To transform the weapon back, the string will tear due to pressure and the rest of the bow will transform back. The weapon stores 20 strings and Kisha reloads them after every fight.
Weapon Name: Gas grenade
Description: Kisha has six gas grenade on her belt. The gas creates a slight fog and is explosive if it comes in touch with fire
Other: Kisha has three hydrogen- and three smoke grenades attached to her pelt. The hydrogen grenades are mostly used together with the fire arrows to cause an explosion.
After training a lot with her semblance, Kisha discovered that by rapidly forming portals successively in front of her, she can achieve a form of high-speed movement, appearing as little more than a stream of energy moving midair. Kisha makes use of this when dealing with midair enemies, and can use herself like a ram in this state. However, this requires a lot of energy and will leave her out of breath right after.