RWBYFanon v5

RPG Creations => Approved Characters => Topic started by: StirFry on September 12, 2016, 03:10:00 AM

Title: Symbol Rock
Post by: StirFry on September 12, 2016, 03:10:00 AM

CHARACTER

Name: Symbol Rock

Age: 17

Species and Gender: Faunus and Male

Symbol: A lion roaring with a heart in its mouth (the family crest)

Occupation: First year at Beacon

Appearance:

Spoiler: ShowHide

(http://i.imgur.com/q7AWWt4.png)

History: A lion faunus, Symbol does not know where he came from; his earliest memories are that of the two Huntsmen who became his caretakers picking him up from an orphanage. The only clue to his past are nightmares which plague him - the sound of a man and a woman screaming while a different man is laughing manically, along with the sensation of falling. Always curious for answers as to where his real parents are (or were), he’d pester the two men – Simon and Roomba – for answers about his heritage. The only answer they could ever give him was that they had both been hired by Symbol’s parents in order to protect him. Some very bad people wanted Symbol for the power that his last name could give to people in the underworld. They moved around every few months, mostly avoiding towns and preferring to stick to the large bases constructed in hollowed out caves or built underground and (apparently) owned by Symbol’s father, only venturing into towns for emergencies – such as lack of food or Symbol coming down with a disease. These bases were extremely spacious, with good living quarters and training halls meant for Symbol to learn in. In order to keep Symbol inconspicuous, his caretakers regularly shaved his mane so that it was non-existent, telling Symbol that when the time was right, he would have to let it grow out. Growing up on the run, Symbol never had the chance to properly socialise with people his age, a fact which Simon and Roomba overlooked in their quest to keep him unnoticed by the outside world. So instead, Symbol turned to books – and instantly fell in love with the magic of stories. It was his only release from the outside world, his situation, his life – all of it. This had a negative effect however, since in immersing himself in fantasy while having to be separated from society, Symbol grew up to be… a bit socially introverted. It didn’t help matters that his ridiculous strength for someone his age left him feeling like a freak.
(Meta Knowledge) Symbol is actually the son of former Vacuan gang lord, Asaf Quartz. Not just any gang lord – THE gang lord, the one everyone else payed respect to. A fair man – for a criminal – Asaf had no desire for his son to be caught up in his world, instead wanting him to be the hero to take down people like Asaf. So when he was born he started making plans to have him safely taken away with two of his best friends and most trusted advisors – Simon and Roomba – once he reached the age of five. However, the succession of the criminal empire is considered to be hereditary – as such Symbol is the rightful successor to the throne. This custom is iron-clad, one that not even criminals dare break (honour among thieves and all that). This didn’t sit well with Asaf’s brother Rak, who wanted to take the “throne” for himself – and promptly had Asaf and his wife killed right before Symbol was supposed to leave – and right in front of his eyes too. Simon and Roomba barely escaped in the ensuing coup and both agreed to follow their friend’s last wish of keeping his son safe. The trauma proved too great for Symbol and he lost all memory of his parents, only seeing vague images and shapes in his nightmares.
(End Meta knowledge)
Symbol expressed a desire to use his training to help others, a relief to Simon and Roomba since this was Asaf’s wish in the first place; so they arranged for Symbol to attend Beacon before going back undercover to try and subvert Rak’s dictatorship back in Vacuo, promising to meet back up with Symbol when the time was right.

Personality: Complicated. He'd love to talk to people and learn how to socialise properly, but he doesn't know how to take the first step and as such he retreats back into the world of novels - somewhere he knows he can't be hurt nor will anyone call him out on his awkwardness.

Aura and Semblance: His aura is above average, but he has trouble controlling it and as such hasn’t manifested a Semblance yet.

Combat Behavior: This is when Symbol’s indecisiveness and shy personality melt away, and he falls back into his training mentality – take the enemy down, and down it down hard. His body is built like a rock (pun intended) and this affected his fighting style; he simply isn’t flexible enough to do any of the fancy stuff like kicks and flips, instead preferring to use his overwhelming strength, speed and stamina to obliterate. 

WEAPON Large

Name: Cor

Primary Form: Chain-sword. Similar in design to the one used by the White Fang Lieutenant, but with a larger, rectangular base for keeping the bullets.
Secondary Form: Mini-gun. The barrels spring out from the base on either side of the neck, two chamber on each side. The handle grip moves from the back of the base two the top to allow firing from the hip.

Dust Functions: He can add fire Dust Bullets for explosive effect, or add fire Dust Fuel to the Chain-sword to engulf the blade in flames when activated. The same effect applies when Ice and Electric Dust is applied. Earth Dust just jams up the gun and Wind Dust… don’t even get him started on that.

History:
Asaf had the weapon designed for Symbol while he was making the plans for his concealment – and tasked Simon and Roomba to train him with it. It’s actually so heavy that most people can’t lift it – only Symbol with his enhanced faunus strength can use it properly in battle.

Title: Re: Gillian Quartz
Post by: Kaliot on September 12, 2016, 10:36:52 AM

What school does he attend and what year is he?

I'd like to see a general aura cost and maybe some possible limitations of the semblance.

As for weapon, you should probably move that particular sentence down to Primary Form and delete the other two Forms since you aren't using them. He may not use the gourd directly, but it seems like it'd be pretty important for him to have.

Title: Re: Gillian Quartz
Post by: StirFry on September 15, 2016, 07:10:31 AM

Edited.

Title: Re: Gillian Quartz
Post by: Kaliot on September 15, 2016, 10:41:47 PM

Move the "First year at Beacon" down to Occupation.

Also, I have been recently informed that aquatic faunus are banned (http://rwby-rpg.rwbyfanon.com/index.php/topic,86.msg176.html#msg176).

Title: Re: Gillian Quartz
Post by: StirFry on September 21, 2016, 08:39:50 PM

edited

Title: Re: Gillian Quartz
Post by: Aegis on September 22, 2016, 07:44:35 PM

To reiterate the previous comment, as stated in the species section of the character rules, all aquatic faunus types are banned.

Quote

Prohibited Base Animal Types: Arthropods, Molluscs, Aquatic, Amphibian, Dinosaurs(Along with anything extinct for more than 200 years), Mythological creatures

You will need to change the faunus type and edit the profile to reflect said changes before it can be considered for approval.

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: StirFry on September 24, 2016, 09:30:59 AM

Edited.

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: Kaliot on September 24, 2016, 09:51:54 AM

I assume his Symbol is related to the previous iteration. Not sure if you want to change it or not. Otherwise, +1.

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: Xarias Fury on September 30, 2016, 02:12:53 AM

I see several sections requiring further improvement.

History seems a tad bit too short and well...generic for a faunus. It's not even 1/3 that of an average character on RWBY and that's saying something because they barely got any development. Not saying it's bad to keep it short but the only thing here is the faunus racism thing. No growing up. No development. No combat training history. Expand and flesh this area out.

Same thing for personality. People aren't one dimensional in the least and it's barely a few sentences long. I advise you look at other profiles and check how long the average lengths and amount of detail are in them. Though I advise you stick to something that doesn't make them have severely contrasting traits.

Aura and semblance.

Now the problem with being a water bender or whatever element bender, is that you have free control over a lot of that substance. I know that water isn't necessarily everywhere(oh wait) in huge amounts at least, but you must add a finite amount and reach that he can control. I won't be allowing him to create tsunamis, water soldiers, giant water serpents, etc etc. Get the idea? Also the heritage part? There's absolutely nothing connecting to him to water in his history, again, expand that. Also the symbol doesn't make sense since nothing but his semblance is water related. Also he's a cat. Does he like fish I wonder.

So in short, bending semblances. Give a finite amount of fluid he can control as well as an effective range. Also, no blood bending. God's sake please don't go into that stuff >_>. Also mention what stuff he can do with his semblance so we have a better idea of what it is.

Combat Behaviour.

Add how he fights with his SEMBLANCE and WEAPON as well. not just general tactics.

Weapon.

Seaweed? For a gourd?(or tanuki ballsacks if you're thinking of Gaara's thing from Naruto. yes. that was a ballsack.) You're free to name it what you want but I advise you find something more fitting. As well as giving him a real weapon since semblance dependency is pretty much inadvisable. You don't see anybody in RWBY using only their semblance save for the uber powerful Cinder and Glynda. Even veterans like Qrow and Raven who have potentially OP powers(maybe we dunno) use weapons.

Weapon history.
Now here's what got me confused. Your weapon history is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than your character's backstory. Enough said?

Quote

What no one expected was for the doctor to pass out for an hour straight after unlocking Symbol's aura - nor did anyone expect him to discover his semblance barely a week after gaining aura.

Seems like a weak ass doctor. Unless you're trying to go the special snowflake route and be an uberpowerful aura/semblance user. Advise: Don't.

Well, after further reading it looks like most of that weapon history belongs in the actual history section. Move it.

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: Siuwa on September 30, 2016, 11:29:10 AM

Uh, don't we have Xanh (http://rwby-rpg.rwbyfanon.com/index.php/topic,26.0.html) already? I think this will have to be completely abandoned for originality's sake.

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: Xarias Fury on September 30, 2016, 07:35:18 PM

Siuwa, I advise you to NOT post on another person's profile in official character creation. (It's in the rules. Seriously). Only places you can post on another person's profile is if it's in the WIP section.

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: Dr. Gustave on October 06, 2016, 12:59:37 PM

... I'll just move this to MIA

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: StirFry on October 08, 2016, 06:38:23 AM

Edited.

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: Xarias Fury on October 09, 2016, 12:52:53 AM

Considering how much has changed I might have to revoke the previous +1, depends.

Not too sure with the whole gang lord theme but you could probably build a plot for that later on, preferably with whatever team you build.

Dead parents +1 sins.


Another problem. While you may have no semblance as of yet he WOULD get it later on so I'll have to deny the whole double aura capacity. Above average at most.

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: StirFry on October 15, 2016, 08:04:12 PM

Does this mean he's approved?

Title: Re: Symbol Quartz
Post by: Xarias Fury on October 15, 2016, 08:42:20 PM

Would've been best if you mentioned what you changed, reading the whole profile is a bit of a hassle. Anyways, I see that you changed the aura capacity so

Yup. Approved.

Oh I forgot, you need to get another mod to recheck everything considering how much changed form the previous profile.

SO currently +1 right now

Also changed the topic name, since it was significantly different from your current name

Title: Re: Symbol Rock
Post by: FunkyMonkey on October 16, 2016, 12:30:39 PM

Approved