RWBYFanon v5
RPG Creations => Character Creation => MiA Characters => Topic started by: GrimSlayerHD on December 25, 2016, 03:41:56 PM
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CHARACTER
Name: Hex
Age: 18
Species and Gender: Female Human
Symbol: A silhouette of a katana over a red moon
Occupation: Weapons Engineer/ Beacon 1st Year Student
Appearance: Hex is 5'6" with a slim build. She has purple hair that is always messily braided and reaches down to her hips. She has thin eyebrows, long eyelashes, high cheekbones and a pert nose. Her eyes are different shades of purple, the outer ring being violet and the inner ring being lavender. She never wears the school uniform, instead choosing to wear a short, purple and black plaid skirt and a belt with a black crop top. Along with this she wears black knee high socks and large, beaten leather work boots. On the back of her belt hangs a dirty, tattered brown teddy bear. She always carries her weapon on her back.
History: Hex used to have another name and another life. She grew up with a younger sister and abusive parents. As a child Hex was always fascinated with how things worked. She would take apart anything that caught her eye, just to understand it better. This lead to complications with her parents who saw her curiosity as her being destructive. Around the age of six, her little sister was born. Hex did her best to try and shield her from most of the punishments her parents doled out. As she got older and better with electronics and machinery, she began to sell her inventions and hoard the money. Once she had enough cash, she waited until her parents were out of the house, packed up her and her sister's things and ran. They moved to a new town and Hex made a name for herself selling her creations. During the years, Hex received training from the various hunters that she equipped or did repairs for. She learned the basics about hunting, but was more interested in building than fighting. Years later, Hex is 16 and doing well for herself. With her sister's birthday coming up, she heads out of town for the day to buy a present. That night when she arrived home, she found the house ransacked and her sister gone. Hex immediately went searching for her sister, but was unable to find where she was taken. Contacting every single person that owed her a favor, she managed to get a lead a few days later. Following the lead, she entered a warehouse where someone saw a couple of guys carry a small child into. She was too late. What she saw in that building broke her. She stumbled from that building covered in blood and tears. She entered her studio and didn't leave it for a week. What came out of that studio that day was Hex. Using all of the knowledge, she crafted herself an arsenal of weapons and proceeded to hunt down every member of the gang. She left no survivors. Destroying everything she built, she fled the city and traveled half way around the world to Vale. Not wanting to start up her business again, lest her work get recognized, Hex decided to enroll into Beacon Academy. She took the entrance exam and aced the written portion, but only scraped by on the combat section. It was enough to get her accepted into the school.
Personality: Hex's personality has drastically changed from when she was a child. She is extremely careless at times, following her instinct or a whim whenever it pleases her. She has no empathy towards people and enjoys chaos and violence. Her actions seem completely random and chaotic to outside viewers. But under all that she is still an engineer. She is still fascinated by complicated machinery and weapons but now has a tendency to steal them in order to take them apart. She is very analytical, but plays stupid with others. She speaks to her weapons as if they were living people and sometimes lies for the sake of lying even when it serves no purpose. Despite these major flaws, Hex turns her tendency for chaos and violence towards her enemies and keeps her teammates alive, though they aren't so sure of her methods.
Aura and Semblance: Hex's aura changes along with her semblance, with it being lavender during a new moon and turning crimson on a full moon. Her semblance is called Moonstriker. It has a passive and active effect. The passive effect changes with the phases of the moon and only works during night. As the moon waxes, all of her 'stats' increase. At a full moon she is 2x stronger in every category; strength, speed, reflexes, etc. As the moon wanes, her passive gets weaker, with the new moon leaving her at her base strength. The closer to a full moon, the harder it is for Hex to control herself. At a full moon, if Hex gets too carried away, her blood-lust will take over, causing her to kill indiscriminately until the sun rises. During a red moon, Hex immediately loses control of herself, but her 'stats' are 3x their normal. During a blue moon, she gains the 2x upgrade but can't succumb to blood-lust. On a lunar eclipse, Hex loses her ability to access her aura and is basically a normal civilian until it's over. While the sun is up, the passive is inactive. The active portion of her semblance allows her to access the strength she would receive at night in exchange for aura. The aura drain is 1% a second. If she activates her semblance during the day, she loses the strength she would have gained at night. Her semblance also changes her appearance. During a new moon her hair and eyes are lavender. As it gets closer to full moon, they transition to crimson. On a red moon, they turn the color of blood. On a blue moon, they turn electric blue, and on a lunar eclipse they turn black.
Combat Behavior: Hex relies solely on her sword in combat. Its long reach allows her to keep other melee fighters at disadvantage. Her erratic nature makes her strategies difficult to predict, which works in her favor. She is an excellent sword fighter, receiving training from many different sword masters who bought her weapons in the past. This eclectic training means that she can seamlessly switch from sword style to sword style, confusing her enemies. Hex has almost no experience with hand to hand combat and relies solely on her weapon in a fight. Physically Hex is in good shape and is impressively strong despite her strong figure. Her normal strength allows her to lift up to 5 tons. At full moon, this doubles. Despite her immense strength, Hex isn't very fast or particularly durable. Anyone who can avoid her attacks could easily defeat her.
WEAPON
Name: Moonbeam
Primary Form: Moonbeam is a long Odachi that is four feet long and only weighs six pounds. The weapon was designed to work in conjunction with Hex's semblance. When forging it, she infused it with a large amount of her aura in conjunction with using an experimental alloy she developed herself. This alloy makes the blade extremely light while still being as tough as Damascus steel. As she gets stronger with the moon waxing, the sword becomes larger and heavier. At a full moon, it becomes 8 feet long and twelve pounds. During a red moon it becomes 12 feet long and weighs 18 pounds. Despite it becoming so massive, Hex can easily swing it due to her increase in strength.
Dust Functions: With fire dust, the sword becomes sheathed in flames and explodes violently when it comes into contact with anything. With lightning dust, the sword crackles with electricity and when swung throws a wide arc of electricity as long as the blade. With wind dust, the sword hums menacingly. When swung it creates a small tornado capable of lifting up a car. The dust cartridges are kept in the extremely long handle and can be used with a swipe of a finger.
History: This was the weapon Hex made for herself during the incident. The weapon was designed with her semblance in mind and so changes with her. Due to this, the weapon cannot be sheathed, and instead the naked blade is tied to Hex's back using cloth.
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For name, so just Hex? So she's like Prince? Or Bono? Or Pink?
Age is a year older than 1st years but acceptable.
Symbol could use an image,but it isn't necessary.
Most Beacon students ARE weapons engineers so unless she does that for work then I don't think it's necessary :3
Appearance could also use an image but again, not necessary.
History is your typical tragic backstory fare... but how does an untrained child (i'm assuming this is around age 14-17) defeat an entire gang with homemade weapons? Also, how did she travel halfway around the world on her own? Where did she get the funds? Also, is she that well known that her inventions would be recognized?
Personality is fine and fitting.
As for aura and semblance so... spidey sense? First of all, what is the minimum that counts as danger? If she's standing in an alley and someone's hiding around the corner about to kidnap her, does that count? Or does the guy have to jump out and attempt to grab her? What about in combat? Is an enemy running around the perimeter of the battlefield detected or does it only kick in when the guy starts firing? Also, how much information can she glean from that sense? Can she identify individual people based on how she senses them? I do like how it doesn't affect her physical reactions though. That's a fair balance.
For combat behavior, I'll need more detail. What's her fighting style up close? Is she a good shot? How strong is she physically? Is she good in a team fight or one on one? Also, I'd like to request for some more weaknesses to balance it out. So far her only weakness is that she's a jack of all trades, which isn't a total weakness.
For weapons, how did she acquire an AI? Does it talk? Also, I'll need a better description of the weapon itself. what does it look like, how big is it, can she carry it or is it on wheels, what's the effective range, penetrating power, etc....
Lastly, for gear, so she just has grenades on her belt? Where does she keep the stun gun?
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Ignore that for now, you're only supposed to have one character at a time. Moving to Mia temporarily.
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Changes made to weapons, combat behavior, semblance, and history. She had the funds to travel across the world from her work as an engineer. Her work was known well in the region and by most weapons enthusiasts in that country, which would make it likely that her work could be recognized in Vale. Also the stun gun is holstered on her grenade belt.
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Can hex be moved back to character creation now that my other character has been approved?
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Kindly post the changes you made. It's fairly difficult to know what changed when reading the whole profile.
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Changes to the weapons were measurements, rate of fire, ammo capacity and range. Changes to combat behavior include weaknesses, changes to semblance adds more aura drain and gives more detail to its effect. Changes to history add previous combat training.
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By put the changes I meant put a quote of the changes in a post to make it easier :3 but, regardless, I have been informed that Hex is fairly expy/copy paste of Jinx from League of legends
Hex the loose cannon = Jinx the loose cannon.
The symbol of her riding a rocket is basically what Jinx does in her music video.
Appearance is uncannily similar to Jinx. Long braids (though different hue but similar colors). Similar outfit and color scheme. It's ok to have her look like Jinx or even use Jinx as a face claim image but the fact that the rest of the profile is really similar to Jinx makes this appearance a red flag.
Personality is definitely Jinx. Not just inspired but it's Jinx. Chaotic, loves stuff that goes boom, does stuff just cause, even talks to her weapons!
Her weapons as well. Collapsible minigun, rocket launcher, stun/zapp gun, grenades.
I might have missed some stuff cause I don't play the game but honestly, the only original part about this profile is the history and the semblace, to a degree. This profile needs some serious rehashing or maybe even scrapping.
You can have characters be inspired by other characters, but you need to have some degrees of separation from the original character
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Alright, I made massive changes to her weapon, semblance and combat behavior to make her more original.
Weapon:
]
WEAPON
Name: Moonbeam
Primary Form: Moonbeam is a long Odachi that is four feet long and only weighs six pounds. The weapon was designed to work in conjunction with Hex's semblance. When forging it, she infused it with a large amount of her aura in conjunction with using an experimental alloy she developed herself. This alloy makes the blade extremely light while still being as tough as Damascus steel. As she gets stronger with the moon waxing, the sword becomes larger and heavier. At a full moon, it becomes 8 feet long and twelve pounds. During a red moon it becomes 12 feet long and weighs 18 pounds. Despite it becoming so massive, Hex can easily swing it due to her increase in strength.
Dust Functions: With fire dust, the sword becomes sheathed in flames and explodes violently when it comes into contact with anything. With lightning dust, the sword crackles with electricity and when swung throws a wide arc of electricity as long as the blade. With wind dust, the sword hums menacingly. When swung it creates a small tornado capable of lifting up a car. The dust cartridges are kept in the extremely long handle and can be used with a swipe of a finger.
History: This was the weapon Hex made for herself during the incident. The weapon was designed with her semblance in mind and so changes with her. Due to this, the weapon cannot be sheathed, and instead the naked blade is tied to Hex's back using cloth.
Semblance:
Aura and Semblance: Hex's aura changes along with her semblance, with it being lavender during a new moon and turning crimson on a full moon. Her semblance is called Moonstriker. It has a passive and active effect. The passive effect changes with the phases of the moon and only works during night. As the moon waxes, all of her 'stats' increase. At a full moon she is 2x stronger in every category; strength, speed, reflexes, etc. As the moon wanes, her passive gets weaker, with the new moon leaving her at her base strength. The closer to a full moon, the harder it is for Hex to control herself. At a full moon, if Hex gets too carried away, her blood-lust will take over, causing her to kill indiscriminately until the sun rises. During a red moon, Hex immediately loses control of herself, but her 'stats' are 3x their normal. During a blue moon, she gains the 2x upgrade but can't succumb to blood-lust. On a lunar eclipse, Hex loses her ability to access her aura and is basically a normal civilian until it's over. While the sun is up, the passive is inactive. The active portion of her semblance allows her to access the strength she would receive at night in exchange for aura. The aura drain is 1% a second. If she activates her semblance during the day, she loses the strength she would have gained at night. Her semblance also changes her appearance. During a new moon her hair and eyes are lavender. As it gets closer to full moon, they transition to crimson. On a red moon, they turn the color of blood. On a blue moon, they turn electric blue, and on a lunar eclipse they turn black.
Combat History:
Combat Behavior: Hex relies solely on her sword in combat. Its long reach allows her to keep other melee fighters at disadvantage. Her erratic nature makes her strategies difficult to predict, which works in her favor. She is an excellent sword fighter, receiving training from many different sword masters who bought her weapons in the past. This eclectic training means that she can seamlessly switch from sword style to sword style, confusing her enemies. Hex has almost no experience with hand to hand combat and relies solely on her weapon in a fight. Physically Hex is in good shape and is impressively strong despite her strong figure. Her normal strength allows her to lift up to 5 tons. At full moon, this doubles. Despite her immense strength, Hex isn't very fast or particularly durable. Anyone who can avoid her attacks could easily defeat her.
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What about personality? She's still crazy-chaotic jinx just with different gear :<
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The personality is the whole point of the character. If I change the personality then role-playing wise I might as well make a new character from scratch. I completely changed everything else to make it an original character.
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The biggest things that made this a Jinx expy are name, symbol, appearance, personality, weapons. These are what needed to be modified. True, you changed the weapons but you changed semblance and combat behavior which really weren't reflecting Jinx nearly as much as her name, symbol, appearance, and personality. It's like if I wanted you to change the car's paint job and you just switched out the tires. You left in the biggest things that made this an expy and changed stuff that really was fine as it was.
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Changes the name and symbol. And she looks nothing like Jinx except that she had braids. The clothes aren't even the same. Jinx wears what is basically a bra and a pair of shorts.
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The changes have been made so can we please get on with this process?
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Sorry about that. Been busy and haven't been able to check the site. Well, still not a fan of Single Name characters but alright. Appearance is similar and personality is the same but I supposed the rest of the profile is unique enough to consider this unique. Approved 1/2.
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" Using all of the knowledge, she crafted herself an arsenal of weapons and proceeded to hunt down every member of the gang. She left no survivors. Destroying everything she built, she fled the city and traveled half way around the world to Vale.
No.
She learned the basics about hunting, but was more interested in building than fighting.
So probably means she wouldn't be able to kill them. Even with her 'creations.' What's to say the gang doesn't have a high class fighter with them? How did they get away with a kid and just murder her for no reason at all? How the heck did this 16 year old manage to kill every single gang member with no preparation without making a ruckus about it? Sure you can argue that Ruby and Yang can take on a bunch of amateurs but having an edgy vigilante teenage psychopath that somehow a whole gang can't take out, while getting wiped out and slaughtered seems a little too much, don't cha think?
but only scraped by on the combat section
And her lack of combat experience doesn't support this fact either. Unless these super bad gang members were stupidly dumb and Hex's sister was a wet paper towel.
And don't you think Beacon would study a student's background before letting them in? "Where is this girl from" ~ "Pfft how do I know? She's got similar weapons to this one chick who seemed to have killed off a gang in (insert town name) but she's weaker than most normal students. Can't be her. No need for an ID check."
Semblance has too many functions. Check the multi-faceted semblance rule.
She is an excellent sword fighter, receiving training from many different sword masters who bought her weapons in the past
Inconsistent with the but only scraped by on the combat section.
weak little fighter bit. Also, strike for having so many sword masters take on this random little girl that likes building machines.
This eclectic training means that she can seamlessly switch from sword style to sword style,
I thought she was an engineer? And she somehow mastered several sword styles while being a not so competent fighter? You don't even enumerate what kind of styles these are or what they do. It's just a convenient loophole to be able to overpower others by saying 'she changed to a style to counter(insert fighting technique)' No. Stick with only a few at most. Defensive, offensive etc etc etc. Also, her sword is long. That drastically limits her choices as well as usable techniques as well as having it's own weaknesses.
5 tons.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
We see Nora lift 1000 somethings. Be it pounds or kgs she barely held on to it for more than a few seconds. Not to mention your character seems to be short and only a semi-muscular build. Not exactly the weight lifting champ build.
Weapon
No aura infusing. that's dumb. Also a sword that grows because it has aura in it? Doubly dumb. This is aura-weapon tech which we're not even sure exists in canon and barely use in our uni. Change this. Dust functions are OP as well. A tornado? Are you kidding me?
I don't know how this got through preliminary reviews but these problems make the profile quite unacceptable. Edit as required.
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Moved to MIA.