Author Topic: Mattimeo Malachite  (Read 408 times)


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Mattimeo Malachite
« on: April 16, 2018, 12:40:33 PM »

Name: Mattimeo Malachite

Theme: Almost Easy by Avenged Sevenfold

Age: 22

Species and Gender: Human (Male)

Symbol:  A broken triangle consisting of four lines.

Occupation: A third year student at Shade Academy (Or honestly, whichever year or academy you might need to fill a team. I saw all the first years at Beacon and figured you needed more diversity. I'm cool with any combination honestly.)

Appearance: Mattimeo is almost unremarkable with dark brown hair, a height of 5' 10", and lightly tanned skin. None of those features stick out due to his piercing blue eyes that almost command your attention and a long jagged scar that runs across his neck.

History: Mattimeo was born in a small swamp village in Mistral. He had a father (Calvin), mother (Eva), and older sister (Alayna). He trained as a young boy to be a village guardsman, and protect his family. His sister was being trained to accept the family weapon Vorreiter and become a Huntress. Things of course did not go as planned when a large clan of bandits attacked the village. The bandits quickly wiped out the village guard and attacked the villagers including Mattimeo and his family. This was the darkest moment of Mattimeo's young life and he was only 12.
His father and mother were slaughtered before his very eyes. He and his sister Alayna fought the bandits together but weren't strong enough to defeat them. At the end of it all, Mattimeo had Vorreiter in one hand, was pinned on the ground and was forced to watch Alayna die. He shut his eyes, began sobbing and felt the cold steel of a jagged blade against his throat. Mattimeo felt the blood begin to flow and screamed out, unlocking his semblance.
When he awoke, he found out he had somehow teleported to a town many miles away. He was taken in by the local fighting institution and continued training. From that moment onward, he vowed to become a Huntsman in honor of his sister's dream.

Personality: Mattimeo is extremely competitive and opens up to few people. He believes in keeping his weaknesses close to the vest and his enemies close to the grave. He trains hard and fights harder, his one goal is becoming the strongest version of himself he can be. Mattimeo takes missions and assignments seriously and will do whatever it takes to get the job done. He will work in teams since he knows it often leads to more favorable results. But he only trusts those who he has worked with for awhile.
His biggest fears involve losing people he cares about and not being strong enough to save them. This is why he doesn't let anyone get close: he believes they will all leave him eventually and he will once again be alone, so why bother getting close now? Even if he acts like he doesn't care about anyone, he would gladly lay down his life to save his teammates or anyone else with a special place in his heart, though you won't hear him say it.

Aura and Semblance: Mattimeo's Aura is bright green, alluding to his Malachite name. Mattimeo's semblance is teleportation. While that may sound impressive, Mattimeo isn't great at wielding it consistently.
He typically only uses it to surprise attack opponents or escape from tough situations. He can use it to travel up to 10 feet as long as he can see the destination point. This usually doesn't take up much aura.
The struggle comes from teleporting more than 10 feet, teleporting to a place he can only remember, or teleporting someone else with him. This takes up an incredible amount of aura and is only used as a last resort. Which is why he doesn't use it often.

Combat Behavior:  Headstrong approaches are viewed as unwise by many, but Mattimeo makes it work. He believes in adapting plans as they go and not giving the opponent time to strategize. Through aggressive actions, Mattimeo is able to study his opponents' responses and predict likely defensive positions; there are many different ways to attack a person, but only a certain number of ways to defend. This can also serve to buy time for his teammates, so they can set up their attacks or finish the mission objective.
His aggressive approach while powerful has many flaws. Most of which involve the fact that his defense is more offense. He will take a blow in order to attack his opponent with more power. If trapped he tends to rely on his semblance which can deplete his aura fast.


Name: Alayna (Formerly Vorreiter)

Primary Form: Alayna is a long, black, metal staff that is thicker on the ends. It has the name ALAYNA engraved along the side in capital letters. In it's primary form it's a staff with a heavy maul on one end of it. Mattimeo uses it to break through defenses or bones as needed.

Secondary Form: With the push of the middle engraved A (in ALAYNA), a sword blade pops out of the other end of the staff. Now it is two sided with a sword blade on one end and a maul on the other. This is used to slice any enemies that can withstand the blunt impact of the maul.

Tertiary Form: With the push of the engraved Y, the staff splits into two pieces, the maul and sword. This is for more efficient combat fighting. This arrangement allows Mattimeo to attack faster but at a closer range, so while it is more effective, it's also more risky.

Dust Functions: Pushing either the first or last engraved A, causes a small slot to open up on that corresponding part of the staff. Dust can be inserted and will give either end a specific type of damage. (Inserting red dust on the sword side turns the blade red and fire damage when striking an opponent, while inserting red dust on the maul side turns the maul red and causes fire damage to shoot out in all directions when striking the ground or other target, possibly hurting Mattimeo as well).

History: This weapon was once known as Vorreiter, a family weapon passed down throughout the Malachite line. It was renamed after Mattimeo barely escaped from the bandits, in honor of his sister. He had a weaponsmith engrave her name over the hidden buttons which allow the staff to disconnect, have a blade, etc. because he wanted her to be a part of his weapon and therefore, a part of him.


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Re: Mattimeo Malachite
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2018, 08:46:47 PM »
OK well first off welcome to the site I see you've found everything easy enough so I'll jump straight into a review.

It's very true that most of the players here have Beacon first years as such most stuff revolves around them so I would recommend starting there. However if do want to chance your luck checking out the discord might be helpful checking if people have any spares laying around, I still feel I should make clear that you will have more threads to be apart of at Beacon but yea.

So I'd like a lot more detail on the appearance, what kind of clothes does he wear? Does he have combat gear? School uniform? What's his build like? Eye colour? etc. It might seem like busy work but getting a good picture of who you are interacting with is helpful and no one wants to spend half their post describing what their own character looks like.

History is fine although I'm going to have to ask you to cut out the sudden emergence of the semblance in some explosive way. It's a trope we really try to avoid because it makes it difficult to balance characters when they all get a massive power boost when ever their lives are threatened, or you know when they actually need that power boost.

Personality and semblance are fine although you can buff out to former with some hobbies or anything to get him away from the brooding anti-hero stereotype and some sort of limit on the later. You can try to come up with it's limit tho, maybe he can only teleport a certain distance a day/time period but can split that out how he wants or maybe a recharge timer based off distance traveled. Teleportation is a powerful ability so these restrictions need to be impactful.

Combat behaviour needs more work particularly around the weaknesses. We aim for 2-3 and the only one you have is barely a weakness, specailising in one thing over another isn't a weakness and it's also one his semblance covers up.

But yea well done for your first attempt and just keep improving.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade