Author Topic: Draíochta Anam  (Read 813 times)

Trevor Delihara

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #15 on: August 07, 2018, 02:42:32 AM »
I don't think it counts as training if he IS LITERALLY JUST WILDLY FLAILING HIS WEAPON AT THE GRIMM. The established threat of the Grimm is simply not there. They have yet to EVER be a significant threat in the story, with the possibly exception of the Dragon, but it was clear from the start that it was going to be Deus Ex Machina'd.

It was an analogy. What is it with the internet and people not getting argumentative structure? Water is an explosive with a trigger- electricity. Dust crystals are an explosive with a trigger- another explosion.

He isn't- I don't... UGH! He isn't stopping it's movement entirely- that's why it's resisting. If you latch onto the side of a boar, though, there's not a whole lot it can really do to immediately get you off, and he hardly needed long to stab it a few times. Most Grimm we see die in literally one hit, comparable to it's size. Shanking a Boarbatusk in its underbelly, where it was already established it is incredibly weak and which is also the natural place to do so in this case, would not be difficult.
"When life gives you lemons, make a time machine." ~Draco Murdock

Characters:
Draíochta Anam - https://rwbyfanon.com/index.php?topic=1516.0

Kingnoname1

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #16 on: August 07, 2018, 05:22:36 AM »
Again the show's inability to establish a character's skill doesn't override the explicit mention of training, RWBY is not alone in this. We follow superhero level characters, of course, Grimm are going to be less of a threat to them than others and even then they have been shown to be a significant threat. In setting, we know Mt Glenn falls to Grimm and however many villages fall to nuckelavee as well as all the Mistral hunters dying to Grimm. Even only going off named characters, Yang gets her aura broken in her season five short as well as Ren/Nora against the nuckelavee. These creatures are a threat to main characters they are a threat to your untrained ten-year-old OC. If you want a medium where you can play out your over the top power fantasies this is not the site for it. Remnant is a world in which humanity isn't the dominant force and regardless of the show's failures that is how it is here.

It's a bad analogy, electricity changes water's chemical structure to the point it isn't water anymore. Dust crystals require no such change on a chemical level, therefore, the comparison doesn't work.

A pin is controlling whoever you are pinning movements if it's not complete it is even harder to maintain as the creature can use the rest of its body as leverage. If you latch onto the side of a demon boar it's going to gore you and trample you as you reel from the pain before you even have a chance to move to stab the thing. Again using the achievements of well-trained characters isn't going to help your argument and where is the Boarbatusk established in being weak?
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Trevor Delihara

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #17 on: August 07, 2018, 05:55:27 AM »
He's been updated as per your contention.
"When life gives you lemons, make a time machine." ~Draco Murdock

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Draíochta Anam - https://rwbyfanon.com/index.php?topic=1516.0

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #18 on: August 07, 2018, 06:17:15 AM »
Wonderful, so the only remaining issue I have is that the character has no training to be a teacher but gets the role as a substitute teacher anyway. The schools teach the defenders of humanity it would make sense for them to require some degree of education on the matter of educating.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

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Trevor Delihara

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #19 on: August 07, 2018, 06:31:50 AM »
It would make sense, sure, but please show anyone in any position in Remnant besides Oobleck who actually qualifies for it.
"When life gives you lemons, make a time machine." ~Draco Murdock

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Draíochta Anam - https://rwbyfanon.com/index.php?topic=1516.0

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #20 on: August 07, 2018, 06:52:28 AM »
Well, here the teachers are better.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

Trevor Delihara

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #21 on: August 08, 2018, 03:37:22 PM »
I just realized I forgot to mention I changed it. My bad.
"When life gives you lemons, make a time machine." ~Draco Murdock

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #22 on: August 08, 2018, 05:24:25 PM »
Good job +1
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #23 on: August 15, 2018, 01:30:06 AM »
Quote
Occupation: Huntsman, Substitute Teacher, and Former Aura Researcher
Quote
Given the review so far, I'm saying no substitute. You can add it back if/when we trust you with an academy staff position, even as a substitute.

Quote
This eventually gained the ire of the headmaster himself
Headmistress herself

Quote
he was a substitute for their combat teacher.
This is fine in the past tense, you won't have to remove this.

Quote
He didn't make it all the way, as he was eventually caught up in the events of Lenshin and brought into the city of Vale.
I don't know what Lenshin is.

Rest seems fine.
Atlas: ShowHide
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Mistral: ShowHide
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Vacuo: ShowHide
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Vale: ShowHide
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
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Trevor Delihara

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #24 on: August 21, 2018, 12:41:48 AM »
Lenshin was a plot idea I brought up as a way to not only bring him into Vale but also explain his meeting with the staff of Beacon.

The town of Lenshin has started worshiping a Grimm by the name of Venor. It's a rather large and intelligent Beowulf, but it lacks a pack, and so relies on instant takedowns and its ability to outpace its prey in order to win. In their pursuit to worship the beast, a monthly ritual has begun where they lure weak huntsman and huntresses in to battle Venor. Thus far, all have lost, but this fact hasn't been publicized in order to keep their ability to lure in more.

Draíochta only happens to be passing through, but a team of Beacon students was sent there to deal with 'a slightly above average Grimm population. No rush- seriously- but do send people when you can.' They end up getting caught in the ceremony, and have to do battle with the beast.

As for the headmistress thing- I will change it immediately.
"When life gives you lemons, make a time machine." ~Draco Murdock

Characters:
Draíochta Anam - https://rwbyfanon.com/index.php?topic=1516.0

Dr. Gustave

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #25 on: August 30, 2018, 12:59:47 PM »
Occupation still lists substitute teacher.
Atlas: ShowHide
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Mistral: ShowHide
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Vacuo: ShowHide
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Vale: ShowHide
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C

Trevor Delihara

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #26 on: August 30, 2018, 08:42:03 PM »
Does occupation not allow for former and prospectively future employment?
"When life gives you lemons, make a time machine." ~Draco Murdock

Characters:
Draíochta Anam - https://rwbyfanon.com/index.php?topic=1516.0

Dr. Gustave

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #27 on: August 31, 2018, 03:26:39 PM »
You can list former occupation, like "former substitute teacher" but not future.
Atlas: ShowHide
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Mistral: ShowHide
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Vacuo: ShowHide
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Vale: ShowHide
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C

Trevor Delihara

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #28 on: August 31, 2018, 05:22:36 PM »
It has been updated, along with fixing a few typos.
"When life gives you lemons, make a time machine." ~Draco Murdock

Characters:
Draíochta Anam - https://rwbyfanon.com/index.php?topic=1516.0

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Re: Draíochta Anam
« Reply #29 on: September 03, 2018, 11:58:02 PM »
Sorry for the late reply, obviously board's been fucking up. Should be fine now. Approved and moved.
Atlas: ShowHide
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Mistral: ShowHide
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Vacuo: ShowHide
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Vale: ShowHide
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C