Author Topic: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]  (Read 284 times)

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Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« on: March 05, 2021, 09:30:46 AM »
It was another usual Sunday at Beacon. The sun shone, the skies were clear, the birds were cheerfully singing their tunes.

Which left the boy sitting on his bed looking miserable entirely out of place.

The dorm was empty save for him, leaving the room eerily still and quiet. Theodore was probably working a shift at the bartenders, Anna most likely at the library. Calen...well, Calen could be anywhere, but the further away the better. After their last mission in that ruined, abandoned city, it was better that no one was actually here to witness his condition.

Sighing despondently, the boy fell backwards onto his bed, staring blankly at the plain ceiling. In his mind, the events kept replaying themselves - specifically highlighting the moments where he'd failed at his duty - and there were certainly plenty of them too. Part of him felt like it was the hallucinogenic plants still at work, but the medical staff had assured him that it'd worked its way out of his system already. So, it was just him. Him and his failures.

He was about to turn over and submit himself to more of his nightmares - daymares? - when the dorm door creaked open softly, accompanied by the light patter of footsteps. Mentally groaning, Setsuna sat upright to see which one of his teammates would get to see his sorry figure. "Oh. Hey, Anna."
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Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Chivalrous Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Emotional Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosion Works

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

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Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

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nathan67003

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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2021, 08:45:31 AM »
Great haul.

These were the only words Anna could think of to describe the pile of books in her arms. Beacon's library had a new arrival not two days ago, and this was her first foray into it, from otherworld novels to encyclopedias on rare Grimm myths. Her movements were slow and measured, owing to the inherent precarity of the literary assembly - she'd also occasionally 'glance' around the pile, since her semblance was blocked by the piles of paper.

Thankfully, she arrived at her team's dorm without incident, apart from a fireball that crossed her path during her transit in the courtyard. A usual Sunday, really.
Crouching, she used her right elbow to turn the doorknob, stepping back into the ajar door to enter.

She was greeted in a somewhat empty tone by her leader, which she answered with a sift "Hi!" as she slowly made her way to her bedside table before depositing her bounty, the furniture visibly straining under the weight.

Her task accomplished, she took the book on top of the stack with some effort (it was a tall stack) before unceremoniously throwing it onto her bed. Sitting down on the side of said bed, she angled her head towards Setsuna and pulsed her semblance, mildly worried about her friend's mental state. "You doing okay?", she asked while moving her copper locks behind her ears.
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES (dead team)
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Definitely not Johnny"
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2021, 03:58:36 AM »
Well, at least Anna couldn't actually see the state he was in. Yes, she had her Semblance, but Setsuna would take any reprieve at this point.

He watched from his bed as his teammate slowly crossed the room with her very tall pile of books threatening to fall over. Under normal circumstances, he'd have already offered to help as soon as she entered, but in his current condition it couldn't have been further from his mind. Something Anna must have picked up herself since she came over and asked how he was doing, instead of immediately burying herself in her books.

More to convince himself than Anna, Setsuna gave a clearly strained smile and a weak "Could be better...but I'll be alright." Yeah, no, that sounded like one of those insincere apologies you'd get from some rude person on the street. Anyone could tell he was struggling at this point. He really didn't want Anna to have to deal with something that was basically his own fault though, so he tried to force his mind into less of a mental wreck. Also didn't work - his head immediately started replaying the same events over again, which made him clutch the sides of his head in a futile effort to make it stop.

"Dammit..." he gritted out, eyes squeezed shut as he shook his head. "...Ok, maybe I'm not so good..."
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Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Chivalrous Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Emotional Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosion Works

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

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Emile Antiqua - Former Professional Huntsman - Gentle Giant

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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2021, 08:08:58 AM »
Worry settled on Anna's face. Setsuna definitely was feeling under the weather, and the fact that he, himself, admitted it only clued her in as to just how bad it was. She got up from her bed, crossed the room and slowly, gingerly sat down on her leader's bed, albeit after having pulsed her semblance to be sure to sit down on the bed, not him.

Her face resolutely turned towards the boy's, eyes somehow locked with his despite not using her semblance at all, she said "...Talk to me, Setsuna. What's wrong?"

Or course, she had a shadow of an idea, from her past experiences with him, but it wasn't anything concrete nor did she have any idea about the extent to which it was affecting him.
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES (dead team)
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Definitely not Johnny"
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2021, 05:07:44 AM »
Curling his legs up to make room once Setsuna realized Anna was gonna sit on his bed, he looked up and flinched at his teammate's direct yet distant stare, the unfocused irises seemingly staring past his own and into his head. This was probably the first time he'd ever made direct, lasting eye contact with Anna, the girl usually keeping her eyes either shut or down toward whatever reading material she had on hand. It unnerved him to no end, and if Anna used her semblance at any point it would be written all over Setsuna's face.

Regardless, he tried to consolidate his jumbled and chaotic thoughts, looking away from Anna and down toward his lap. Unbeknownst to him, his hands had subconsciously moved from gripping his head to squeezing each other, red with the amount of pressure he was exerting. With an effort, he separated the two and sighed, wondering where or how to start. "It's the last mission we did." He suddenly blurted out, getting the inspiration (or courage?) out of nowhere.

"I can't get it out of my head, its been several days since we came back and the nurses said the psychedelic effects had worn off but they just keep replaying over and over, the voices taunting, screaming at me and all the things I could have done to prevent it but didn't and everything the team had to endure because of the choices I made and - and I - I -" His voice stuttered and broke, leaving him lost for words after the dam holding his pent-up guilt collapsed. Mentally exhausted, his body slumped and head fell forward, short curls of hair obscuring his now shut eyes.
Beacon: ShowHide

Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Chivalrous Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Emotional Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosion Works

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Haven: ShowHide

Rachel Jonquil - First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

Others: ShowHide

Prof. Ferus Talandar - Grimm Specialist Teacher at Beacon - One Man Army

Emile Antiqua - Former Professional Huntsman - Gentle Giant

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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2021, 09:53:25 PM »
As Setsuna's voice became increasingly strained, so did sadness manifest on Anna's face. She didn't like seeing (so to speak) anybody in such a distressed state, much less someone she was close with and alongside hom she had spent several months at this point. She gingerly scooted up towards the head of the bed and softly, lightly (mostly because she was testing the waters and making sure not to stick a thumb in an eye or something) brought her leader into a hug.

In a measured, smooth and barely lilting voice, she said "You can't blame yourself on the basis of hindsight, Setsuna. We're all young and inexperienced, especially in such situations. You were stressed from an extended lapse of time being on a mission, plus a myriad other factors. Not to mention this isn't exactly something we'd been prepared for during classes. You handled it as best as the you of that time could. In the end, we all made it home safe and sound. And maybe they don't show it much, but I'm certain I'm not the only one thankful for that."

"Besides," she continued in a slightly more upbeat tone, "do you think civilization would've made it this far by only ever suceeding? We learn by observing the border between what works and what doesn't, by mapping it out. That's how we can eventually build solidly on success, and remember failures to avoid in the future."
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES (dead team)
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Definitely not Johnny"
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
AMCAA

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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2021, 04:46:04 AM »
Several long seconds pass before Setsuna makes any sign of having registered his teammate's actions, slowly and very tentatively letting his head rest on Anna's shoulder. Still, it's nearly another half minute before any other movement is coerced out of the boy, the stored tension gradually leaving his body and finally letting him relax properly for the first time since their crash.

When next Setsuna speaks - albeit very softly, a lot of the ragged edge has left his voice, replaced with what could be described as astonishment accompanied with a touch of hope. "Y-you don't...blame me?" he asked, raising his gaze to meet Anna's. "Even after I went half i-insane?" The boy visibly trembled but still he continued. "Even when I couldn't do my duty and lead the team as I should have?"
Beacon: ShowHide

Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Chivalrous Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Emotional Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosion Works

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Haven: ShowHide

Rachel Jonquil - First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

Others: ShowHide

Prof. Ferus Talandar - Grimm Specialist Teacher at Beacon - One Man Army

Emile Antiqua - Former Professional Huntsman - Gentle Giant

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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2021, 11:54:16 AM »
Upon hearing Setsuna's question, Anna hugged him a little tighter. She felt his head angle upwards, but didn't turn her eyes more than vaguely towards his face, the shock factor of direct eye contact no longer necessary. "Yes, we don't blame you. None of us would've done better in those circumstances. Hey, we barely even handled ourselves!"
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES (dead team)
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Definitely not Johnny"
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2021, 09:22:30 AM »
After hearing Anna's words of reassurance, the lingering ghosts of doubt in Setsuna's head finally dissipated. All this time there were thoughts swirling in the back of his mind, covered by the recollections but still nagging at his conscience: What does my team think of me now? After all I've done to try and bring the team together, was it all for naught? Finally, finally, his worries were put to rest. If nothing else, Anna accepted him for his failures and even encouraged him to overcome it.

Fully breaking down now, he leant into Anna's embrace, returning the tender hug with one of his own and letting his head rest again on the girl's shoulder. The closeness would have made him mildly uncomfortable but this time he paid no heed, savoring the warmth that was a welcome contrast from the cold darkness of his thoughts prior. This went on for a brief while before Setsuna let go and sat back up straight, letting out a long sigh of relief. "From the bottom of my heart, Anna, thank you." he murmured, looking slightly bashful. "I really needed to hear that."

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Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Chivalrous Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Emotional Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosion Works

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Haven: ShowHide

Rachel Jonquil - First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

Others: ShowHide

Prof. Ferus Talandar - Grimm Specialist Teacher at Beacon - One Man Army

Emile Antiqua - Former Professional Huntsman - Gentle Giant

nathan67003

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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #9 on: April 06, 2021, 09:04:38 AM »
As Setsuna leaned into the hug, Anna made her grip just a bit more firm - give a real good hug and all. Needless to say, she was quite relieved she'd manage to get through to him. This wasn't a situation she'd ever found herself in before and was quite happy with the outcome. Somewhat surprised, as well - she'd never thought she had any kind of oratory gift, much less counselling expertise, under her belt.

Setsuna then loosened his embrace, signalling the end of the hug. Anna let go as well, a warm smile over her features, her eyes now unfocused and aimed down again. "You're very welcome, Setsuna. Always a pleasure to help a friend in need." Her 'gaze' left Setsuna's direction, drifting slightly to the left from her perspective. She was, at the moment, content with sitting on her leader's bed and waiting for him to tackle another, or the same, subject. Or if he didn't do so, she could still head over to her own bed and start digging through the enormous stack of books on her bedside table.
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES (dead team)
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Definitely not Johnny"
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
AMCAA

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Re: Guilt, Acceptance and Overcoming [CLOSED]
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2021, 07:38:39 AM »
Since Anna didn't immediately go back to burying her head in her stack of newly acquired books, Setsuna figured she was still willing to help him work through his mental issues. She never struck him as anyone particularly adept at wielding vocabulary - that was Calen's role - but whatever the case she had still saved him from potentially dealing with his own guilt for weeks on end. He couldn't begin to imagine where he'd be currently if it wasn't Anna who walked through that door earlier.

Speaking of his teammates... "Hey Anna, I know you said you don't blame me, and I'm really grateful for that, but to be frank..." He scratched his head and wondered how to put his next thoughts into words. "I'm really lucky that it was you that saw me first and not the other two, and speaking of them, uh..." The usually outspoken boy was once again at a loss for words, this time because he didn't know how to proceed without offending the people he was about to mention. "I'm mainly concerned about Calen, he'll probably spend the next few weeks stabbing me in the back at my expense. Teddy probably doesn't care? Maybe?" Setsuna concluded, unable to really predict how Teddy would react simply due to a lack of conversation.
Beacon: ShowHide

Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Chivalrous Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Emotional Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosion Works

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Haven: ShowHide

Rachel Jonquil - First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

Others: ShowHide

Prof. Ferus Talandar - Grimm Specialist Teacher at Beacon - One Man Army

Emile Antiqua - Former Professional Huntsman - Gentle Giant