[supersoulspark]

Rai Foudsol

Name: Rai Foudsol

Age: 19

Species and Gender: Male Faunus-Fox

Symbol:  A silhouette of a stylized and pointy fox head. Where the right eye would be, a horizontal lighting bolt is found.

Occupation: Freelancer/Wanderer

Appearance: Rai is 67in (172cm) tall lithe faunus. He wears some very heavy combat boots with some very dark blue jeans. he typically wears his nearly black, with a bit of blue, leather hoodie that has coverings for his ears. he also has finger-less gloves to make him look even more like a "bad boy". he has very long, dark silvery hair that when drenched hides his narrow face completely. his hair parts mostly in the middle, with most of his bangs swooshed of the right of his face. the other half id swooshed of to the left with the hair from the sides of his head and from the back, spilling down out of the hoodie.

History: he hasn't told me yet (sorry)

Personality: he realy doen't want to tell me his history.

Aura and Semblance: Color:Royal Azure
Surge: his body Is quite electrifying. both to women and his opponents, or that's what he would lead you to believe. His semblance give him an innate connection to electricity, allowing him to adsorb and store electricity. when he taps into his supplies, his body gets shrouded in intimidating, but purely aesthetic, electricity. It also make lightning flow from his eyes all scary like. When Surge it triggered he gain increased agility as long as it it leaking from him, making him a rather quick foe on the battle field.

(notes: potentially have him carry a batterie. Surge might have a time limit like 5-10 mins or something)

Combat Behavior:  uh... he won't tell me that eaither.

WEAPON

Name: he is touchy about his guitar

Primary Form: he won't let me touch it.

Secondary Form: like I said.

Tertiary Form: he won't.

Dust Functions: let me.

History: touch it.

[EdgeyReyes]

So you mixed both of his clothing and physical appearance together. While not a big deal it would be easier to have a paragraph (or however long you want) detailing his physical appearance and another paragraph detailing clothing. I doubt anyone wants to look through it finding what his eyes look like. (you left that out as an F.Y.I). You say he is 67 inches which would make him 170cm. However 272cm would make him 8'11. Please decide on what his height is.

So without much to actually review I'll also comment on his semblance. So he can absorb electricity (this is fine), but he can also discharge himself towards his enemies (and allies I assume) (one ability) and then he can also use it for an agility boost. This part would be seen as a secondary ability since semblances have been seen to be one specific ability. It would be best to decided if he were to be given a speed boost or discharging.

Also in weapon you say guitar. Also the "won't let me touch it" gets pretty old pretty fast and it would be easier if you were to just say "W.I.P" (work in progress) or something of the likes.

Also you could use google docs or word/notepad if you need somewhere to place him while you write him up.

[supersoulspark]

Ah yes, Thank you. I did not mean to cause a height discrepancy, that was my mistake. I will be sure to remedy that, as well as take more time to write about his appearance (my first draft got deleted to to inactivity while writing it so I did it as quick as possible).  As for the weapon descriptions and history, I did not think of putting WIP in instead of the half attempt at a joke (clearly that failed and was redundant).

As for his semblance I am still working on it. When I first thought of his semblance I wanted it to be electricity related. It wan't until later that I realized that it was quite similar to Nora's semblance. Hence I made the distinction that it enhanced his agility instead of his strength. I might end up changing it all together later on. I will still keep the electric fox theme tho, as I was inspired by the raiju thunder beast of Japanese mythology.

Hopefully this youngin will get better at this, and I thank you for the critique.

[EdgeyReyes]

It's all cool. I was kind of confused when I saw then and then it clicked. It would of made more sense to say "he won't let me see it". Just for a bit of consistency. If you need any help or something feel free to pm me.

[supersoulspark]

Will do. And, thank you.

[Poof!]

Hey there! I just felt like making a quick comment here, you don't have to listen to it since this is your character. Of all the semblances I've seen, speed, strength, teleportation and elemental semblances are really common. In the first four pages of approved characters, there was something like ten or eleven electromancer types (out of 80 characters). Very few semblances were really that original, and it seemed like people decided to come up with their semblances first rather than base it off their personality and history. They are semblances because the powers the huntsman/huntresses use are a 'semblance' of who they are.

Once again, this is just personal opinion, feel free to disregard.

[nathan67003]

No, a mod once almost told me off that my char's semblance didn't fit his personality, and that I'd have to either explain it or change it.

Although you should worry about outright copying others, even if accidentally, you shouldn't worry about having similar semblances. All it takes is a slight twist to how it works, and the entire character can become completely different.