Author Topic: I'm New, this is my first character  (Read 4074 times)

Vasnirada

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I'm New, this is my first character
« on: April 19, 2017, 11:54:50 PM »
CHARACTER

Name: No Name Yet

Age: 18

Species and Gender: Human Male

Symbol:  None yet

Occupation: Student at Beacon academy

Appearance: Short Yellow Hair, around 5'9" tall. Wears loose fitting button-up short sleeved shirts and shorts casually, but wears the uniform for more formal occasions. When he knows that he's going into combat, he will wear a simple T-Shirt and shorts, with as little additional material to disrupt his movement as possible. Has a slight frame, but is also well muscled. Has a very upright posture, almost as if he is trying to be a bit taller. Dark brown eyes that have a tendency to jump from person to person quickly.

History: He had a moderately normal childhood up until he started playing with other children. Some of the other kids started to bully him, but before they could do more than call him a few names, a small metal object flew between them and him and sunk into the ground. The other kids got scared and ran away, but he went over and dug the thing out of the ground. It turned out to be a shuriken, and he decided that he would train using them so that he could do two things. First, pass along the protection that he had been given, and second, hopefully, meet the mysterious person who saved him. He trained throughout his childhood, but continued attending school. He has a fairly large number of friends, but none of them are very close to him. When he was admitted into (insert academy here), he was ecstatic, because it brought him a huge leap closer to his dreams.

Personality: He is a generally amiable person, who always tries to make light of dark situations. He is always an optimist, and makes jokes to keep the people around him laughing. He tends to be happy go lucky, and often underestimates the importance and severity of events. He also has a tendency to believe that he is immortal, and so far, no one has been able to prove him wrong.

Aura and Semblance: He just has basic Aura abilities, only able to use his Aura for shielding and regeneration. Even then, his shield tends to be weaker than most, so even blows that would seem light to others can injure him. His semblance is quite simple: He can focus his Aura into shurikens and fire them. This takes a bit of focus, but the results can be explosive, as the shurikens he creates tend to be much more damaging than normal ones, and have even been known to actually explode, on occasion.

Combat Behavior:  In combat, he tends to act as a supporting element, using his shurikens to disrupt enemies from the back while his allies fight in close combat. Generally, he will use his large shurikens as a grappling hook, to gain elevation and move around more rapidly, but he will also use them to grab and drag around enemies during a fight. If forced into close combat, he will throw punches using his gauntlets until an opening appears for him to get some distance. If he doesn't have a way to get out, he will try to clear enough space to charge his semblance, and then hit the enemy with it. In situations where a powerful enemy is involved in a fight, he will often try to force it into single combat, even pushing his allies out of the way to get to it. Generally, in such situations he will use his semblance to fire a blast at the enemy, then use his gauntlets to close the distance and fight it in close combat, changing his default strategy. He will use his gauntlets to strafe around the enemy while hitting it with physical and semblance charged shurikens.

WEAPON

Name: Shurigauntlets (He is the only person who calls them this. Everyone else just calls them his gauntlets)

Primary Form: A pair of light leather gloves, attached to a metal cylinder that wraps around his arm. The side towards his body (hereafter known as the inside) has a slot with shurikens in it. They are just normal shurikens. He has around 50 on him at any given time, mostly stored here. Opposite this is a large shuriken on each side (around 1' radius). In this form, these shurikens are close to his forearms, and not really useful.

Secondary Form: The shurikens slide forward to rest next to the back of his hands, allowing him to use them as a melee weapon. He often just uses this as a transitional form to the final form.

Tertiary Form: He can flip the large shurikens into the palm of his hand and throw them. They are attached to a strong and flexible cable that allows him to use them as grappling hooks, as well as reeling them back in once they hit their target.

Dust Functions: None yet

History: He built these gauntlets at around 10 years of age. Originally, they just acted as storage devices. Over time, as he has gained experience, he has added new features to help make him more functional in combat. He plans to add some dust action sometime, but machines have never really been his strong suit. He has asked for help from people every time he has needed to add something to his gauntlets. He always ends up doing the construction, but they have to guide him through every step.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2017, 12:29:59 AM by Vasnirada »

Kingnoname1

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Re: I'm New, this is my first character
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2017, 01:38:39 AM »
Welcome to the board, hope you enjoy your stay. You've got a pretty good core of a character here so that's good to see but I'll nitpick because you literally can't stop me. As for which academy Beacon gets most of the fun and new blood so it might be a good place to start out because you will get a team quicker.

Everything else simply needs a bit more detail. Like the appearance and personality sections try hard to think of everything you could describe. So for appearance think about what is his eye colour? Does he have a preferred casual outfit? Or if what you have is his casual outfit does he add anything when expecting a fight? Does he wear the school outfit.

Same with the personality: Does he have any hobbies? How well does he do on the academic side? Likes/Dislikes? And so on.

History has a few holes as well like where are his parents? What was he getting bullied for? Did he go to the lower level academies first before getting into the academies proper(Signal or the like)? Currently you only really describe one event in his life and clearly there is more to his history than that. You might want to put in a bit describing how he learnt to make his weapons if he is making them at 10 years old and what everyone thought of that.

Combat Behaviour also needs just a few more lines: Is he fast on his feet? Acrobatic? Can he take a beating? Does he have a 'Code of Conduct' he follows in combat at least with other humans/faunus? 2-3 weaknesses are the general rules of the board so you probably need another in addition to the impulsiveness.

Weapons are good.

Like I said above you have a solid base here and if you'd like any clarification or have questions just reply either here or on the discord server https://discord.gg/Es2GCj4 here and someone will find you.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade