Author Topic: Thistle Laine  (Read 150 times)

smashingBrawler

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Thistle Laine
« on: October 26, 2018, 08:52:09 PM »
CHARACTER

Name: Thistle Laine

Age: 18, born the 12th of Neige

Species and Gender: Human Female

Symbol:


Occupation: 1st Year Atlas Student

Appearance: Thistle is a fierce young woman who stands at 5’11”. She has a healthy, muscular physique, and weighs in at about 175 lbs. She has lavender-colored hair which she keeps in a pompadour with shaved sides, while her eyes are a darker purple. She also has a large four-line scar on the left side of her face, remnants of a Beowulf attack from when she was young.

Generally, Thistle will wear the Atlas uniform for most occasions, having found it to be balanced well between warmth and mobility. When out of uniform, she tends to prefer lighter clothing. Given she lives in Atlas, she makes use of a fire glamour on most of her personal outfits - usually consisting of some combination of black jacket, a light purple undershirt, black pants, and the sturdiest combat boots she can find. If travelling somewhere warm, she’ll ditch the jacket and switch to a light purple tank top and black shorts. She will keep the heavy boots though, for limited protection against one of the uses of her semblance.

Beyond that, Thistle prefers not to waste time with piercings or make up – which keeps a ensures the visibility of her scars. Thistle isn’t one for fashion or ceremony, just whatever gets the job done.

History: Thistle grew up the daughter of one of the many military families in atlas, her mother being a soldier and her father working in a more logistical position. The life of a warrior was laid out for her from a young age – and she lived for it. Her mother would take her out to train whenever she was back from latest deployment, leading her to develop the athleticism necessary, while her father taught her the discipline she would need to survive, let alone excel, in Atlas’ rigid structure.

There were very few major events in Thistle’s life which could have thrown her off her course, but her semblance was involved in the two events that could have. The first was when she was starting out in her proper training – when she was in the Atlesian equivalent of Signal or Sanctum. During a training exercise, a group of Grimm attacked unexpectedly, and she was cut off from her class and cornered by a Beowulf. It clawed at her, broke through her only recently-unlocked aura, and cut into the left side of her face. In that moment, her survival instincts kicked in fully, and she threw a desperate punch which fell short – until her semblance activated for the first time, carrying the force forward and into the Beowulf. It wasn’t much, but it had knocked the Beowulf back enough for a teacher who had chased after her to get a clear shot at it, allowing her to escape.

In the aftermath, she was scared at first. But the fear soon faded to a need to never been in that kind of situation again. She needed to be stronger, better. She would not let herself yield so easily again. She began to focus entirely on her training, to the detriment of many other things in her life. Nonetheless, she was soon one of the best duelists in her class – and she gained an over-abundance confidence that went a bit too far beyond her actual skill level.

Unfortunately for her, as it came time to create weapons, she hit her second major roadblock. Every weapon she made… just didn’t work with her semblance with it. It never worked with guns of any kind, and when she made transforming weapons, they’d manifest the effect in weird ways that were hard to predict and harder to control.  She didn’t give up, however – she knew that if she was going to protect herself and others to her fullest, she would need to figure out what was going on with her semblance.

So, she kept working at it, kept trying new combinations of weapons. They kept failing. Until finally she tried to make a regular, non-transforming sword. That one, finally, worked. It seemed that having the weapon be mainly made of one solid piece of metal was enough to her semblance properly stable. Either way, she now had the basic concept, and began to refine it from there. With her new weapon crafted, and her understanding of her versatile semblance growing every day, she truly began to excel in combat – more than enough to make up for her middle-of-the-road test scores.

With a weapon that worked with her semblance and a proper drive now in her portfolio, she was able to fully qualify for Atlas – one step closer to becoming a proper huntress.

Personality: Thistle is overconfident – having always been a bit ahead of much of her class in combat, and with a natural strength to boot, Thistle’s readiness to take on whatever challenge comes her way is matched only by her ability to underestimate those challenges. This mildly narcissistic tendency gets her into trouble and has given her a special disdain for warriors who focused on long ranged and/or highly mobile combat since she has very few ways of dealing with such opponents effectively – to her, such tactics are tantamount to cheating in a proper one-on-one. On the flip side, she rarely shows fear in the face of tough situations, keeping up morale even against bad odds.

Thistle is disciplined. From a young age, Thistle’s father taught her the importance of hard work, determination, and self control. Leading by example, he showed Thistle how his work ethic paid off and instilled in her the same values. As such, when Thistle puts her mind to something, she will usually do it to the best of her ability. This has also led Thistle to be independent – and as much as she will take care of herself, avoid making a fuss, and do what she needs to do, it also means she doesn’t always know when to ask for help. She will often fail at something several times on her own before accepting that she can’t do it, and only then will she look for help.

Thistle is unyielding. She can be stubborn, obstinate, and she holds a grudge. To her, provoking her is asking for a fight, and few people can do it with impunity. Whether or not she’s actually in the right is an entirely different matter and getting her to admit when she’s wrong is challenge in its own right. At the same time, her loyalty is unyielding too – her friends can count on her through thick and thin, and she refuses to leave anyone behind.

Deep down, she’s a pretty good person overall, too. Even if she’s got a grudge against somebody, she’d still save them from the Grimm in a pinch. She knows what it’s like to be helpless and in danger, and she won’t let anyone get hurt by a Grimm if she can help it.

Aura and Semblance: Thistle has a powerful aura which manifests in a light purple. Her aura is of moderately above-average strength, supplementing her fighting style.

When Thistle attacks, she can use her semblance to create a wave with the same force and shape as the original attack which will continue forward. If she stabs with a weapon, punches, or kicks, the force will be a tight blast that can go as far as 100 meters – because it’s a small wave, only takes a small amount of energy to create. If she makes a mid-sized, controlled slash the force wave it creates will match the arc of the slash and have a range of 50 meters, taking a about twice as much energy as the smaller attacks. A large, heavy slash will create a force wave which also matches the arc of the slash and have a range of 25 meters, requiring twice the energy of a mid-sized slash. The movement speed of the waves is related to the amount of time spent completing the attack that created them: a short stab or punch will move no faster than 30km/h, a regular slash will move no faster than 20km/h, and a heavy slash will move no faster than a slow but powerful 10km/h.

This semblance has no effect on bullets and will act erratically with more complex weapons in general, usually resulting in waves getting thrown back at Thistle due to the way the semblance interacts with the various parts. Essentially, the fewer individuals parts to a weapon, the less likely the semblance is to have a backlash.

Dust interactions:
Thistle can use dust to give her force wave a variety of elemental properties, such as:
Lightning: The wave will have an electrical charge to it, and shock those it hits.
Fire: Exactly what you'd expect: the wave will be on fire
Ice: The wave will appear frosty, and may freeze or chill targets that it hits
Propulsion: While having no effect on enemies, Thistle can use propulsion dust to kick of the ground in order to gain the occasional burst of speed or movement, though using this technique hurts her, weakening her aura as though she’d hit herself with the same force - it can leave her vulnerable if she doesn't plan her trajectory well.
Repulsion: The wave will have increased knockback.

Combat Behavior: In combat, Thistle attempts to close gaps as quickly as possible in order to rush down her opponents as fast as she can. She generally runs on instinct in combat, and sometimes uses her semblance as a crutch, since it lets her fall short but still land attacks on some occasions.

Her biggest issues stem from her lack of a proper ranged weapon, and the limited range and movement speed of her semblance’s longer-range attacks. Snipers and fast opponents who have good medium or long range options give her a ton of trouble, and when fighting against one she will often fight more recklessly because of her disdain for that combat style. Conversely, her semblance (especially when used with dust) allows her to hit bulkier opponents hard, and her above-average defences give her some protection against assassins and while her semblance’s limited movement option gives her a way to close the gap against slower glass cannons or support-oriented foes, it will soon burn her out and leave her critically open against anyone who can out-maneuver her.

In group combat, Thistle is always ready to rush in and take point. Her semblance’s slower movement also gives her a few options for covering fire if timed properly, though she is generally unlikely to opt for that type of attack instead of a head-on assault unless prompted. Finally, while her attitude isn’t perfectly suited to them, the fact that she doesn’t use a firearm gives her a few advantages on stealth missions.

WEAPONS

Name: Provocation’s Result

Primary Form: Provocation’s result has one form: it is a wave-bladed hand-and-a-half sword which Thistle uses both in melee combat and as the source of her semblance’s waves.

Dust Functions: Provocation’s Result has no dust functions.

History: Provocation’s Result was the final product of a long and drawn out series of failures, wherein Thitle tried and failed repeatedly to find a transforming weapon that would be as stable as possible given her Semblance’s particular nature. When she finally tried a regular, non-transforming sword, it seemed to work. She took that concept and ran with it, improving upon it until she found a sword design which seemed to work best in tandem with her semblance: imagined or not, she felt she could make her attack arcs just a bit bigger with the wavy-bladed design, and so she settled on it. Provocation’s Result was born.
« Last Edit: November 04, 2018, 11:20:35 PM by smashingBrawler »
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Re: Thistle Laine
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2018, 05:03:41 AM »
So it’s a pretty good second character although there are a few issues I don’t think it’s enough to really justify denying approval.

Firstly in RWBY your aura coats your weapon and assumably protects from damage from outside and within. Although this does bring up the issue of why is it any different than something hits the aura around your weapon rather than the aura around you personally it does make the whole ‘my semblance destroys all transforming weapons’ thing a bit silly.

Secondly, you’ve made a mistake with the bbcode in the semblance/aura section.

 Thirdly and most personally I dislike weaknesses being presented in relation to other characters which excel in that field. If Thistle isn’t particularly mobile it won’t take a ‘fast opponent’ to punish her, same with snipers and if it’s just average mobility/range ability then it’s not really a weakness. This is mostly a wording issue and a pet peeve I have which I can continue to force on people because I’m the moderator with the least life.

Regardless I don’t think you have to change anything to get approved just feel like the issue should be brought up.

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No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

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Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

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smashingBrawler

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Re: Thistle Laine
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2018, 10:54:33 PM »
Dropping the original here for the sake of continuity! Going to make a couple of edits based on the suggestions made. Also gonna fix the bbcode. (note: this is the very first version, pre-approval of any kind).

Spoiler: ShowHide
CHARACTER

Name: Thistle Laine

Age: 18, born the 12th of Neige

Species and Gender: Human Female

Symbol:


Occupation: 1st Year Atlas Student

Appearance: Thistle is a fierce young woman who stands at 5’11”. She has a healthy, muscular physique, and weighs in at about 175 lbs. She has lavender-colored hair which she keeps in a pompadour with shaved sides, while her eyes are a darker purple. She also has a large four-line scar on the left side of her face, remnants of a Beowulf attack from when she was young.

Generally, Thistle will wear the Atlas uniform for most occasions, having found it to be balanced well between warmth and mobility. When out of uniform, she tends to prefer lighter clothing. Given she lives in Atlas, she makes use of a fire glamour on most of her personal outfits - usually consisting of some combination of black jacket, a light purple undershirt, black pants, and the sturdiest combat boots she can find. If travelling somewhere warm, she’ll ditch the jacket and switch to a light purple tank top and black shorts. She will keep the heavy boots though, for limited protection against one of the uses of her semblance.

Beyond that, Thistle prefers not to waste time with piercings or make up – which keeps a ensures the visibility of her scars. Thistle isn’t one for fashion or ceremony, just whatever gets the job done.

History: Thistle grew up the daughter of one of the many military families in atlas, her mother being a soldier and her father working in a more logistical position. The life of a warrior was laid out for her from a young age – and she lived for it. Her mother would take her out to train whenever she was back from latest deployment, leading her to develop the athleticism necessary, while her father taught her the discipline she would need to survive, let alone excel, in Atlas’ rigid structure.

There were very few major events in Thistle’s life which could have thrown her off her course, but her semblance was involved in the two events that could have. The first was when she was starting out in her proper training – when she was in the Atlesian equivalent of Signal or Sanctum. During a training exercise, a group of Grimm attacked unexpectedly, and she was cut off from her class and cornered by a Beowulf. It clawed at her, broke through her only recently-unlocked aura, and cut into the left side of her face. In that moment, her survival instincts kicked in fully, and she threw a desperate punch which fell short – until her semblance activated for the first time, carrying the force forward and into the Beowulf. It wasn’t much, but it had knocked the Beowulf back enough for a teacher who had chased after her to get a clear shot at it, allowing her to escape.

In the aftermath, she was scared at first. But the fear soon faded to a need to never been in that kind of situation again. She needed to be stronger, better. She would not let herself yield so easily again. She began to focus entirely on her training, to the detriment of many other things in her life. Nonetheless, she was soon one of the best duelists in her class – and she gained an over-abundance confidence that went a bit too far beyond her actual skill level.

Unfortunately for her, as it came time to create weapons, she hit her second major roadblock. Every weapon she made broke when she tried to use her semblance with it. It didn’t seem to do anything with guns, and when she made transforming weapons, they kept breaking under whatever stress the creation of the waves force created. She didn’t give up, however – she needed to be the best, she couldn’t let herself be caught helpless again. Ever.

So, she kept working at it, kept trying new combinations of weapons. They kept breaking. Until finally she tried to make a regular, non-transforming sword. That one, finally, worked. It seemed that having the weapon be mainly made of one solid piece of metal was enough to keep it stable under the forces – or maybe even unaffected by them. Either way, she now had the basic concept, and began to refine it from there. With her new weapon crafted, and her understanding of her versatile semblance growing every day, she truly began to excel in combat – more than enough to make up for her middle-of-the-road test scores.

With a weapon that worked with her semblance and a proper drive now in her portfolio, she was able to fully qualify for Atlas – one step closer to becoming a proper huntress.

Personality: Thistle is overconfident – having always been a bit ahead of much of her class in combat, and with a natural strength to boot, Thistle’s readiness to take on whatever challenge comes her way is matched only by her ability to underestimate those challenges. This mildly narcissistic tendency gets her into trouble and has given her a special disdain for warriors who focused on long ranged and/or highly mobile combat since she has very few ways of dealing with such opponents effectively – to her, such tactics are tantamount to cheating in a proper one-on-one. On the flip side, she rarely shows fear in the face of tough situations, keeping up morale even against bad odds.

Thistle is disciplined. From a young age, Thistle’s father taught her the importance of hard work, determination, and self control. Leading by example, he showed Thistle how his work ethic paid off and instilled in her the same values. As such, when Thistle puts her mind to something, she will usually do it to the best of her ability. This has also led Thistle to be independent – and as much as she will take care of herself, avoid making a fuss, and do what she needs to do, it also means she doesn’t always know when to ask for help. She will often fail at something several times on her own before accepting that she can’t do it, and only then will she look for help.

Thistle is unyielding. She can be stubborn, obstinate, and she holds a grudge. To her, provoking her is asking for a fight, and few people can do it with impunity. Whether or not she’s actually in the right is an entirely different matter and getting her to admit when she’s wrong is challenge in its own right. At the same time, her loyalty is unyielding too – her friends can count on her through thick and thin, and she refuses to leave anyone behind.

Deep down, she’s a pretty good person overall, too. Even if she’s got a grudge against somebody, she’d still save them from the Grimm in a pinch. She knows what it’s like to be helpless and in danger, and she won’t let anyone get hurt by a Grimm if she can help it.

Aura and Semblance: Thistle has a powerful aura which manifests in a [color=# D8BFD8]light purple[/color]. Her aura is of moderately above-average strength, supplementing her fighting style.

When Thistle attacks, she can use her semblance to create a wave with the same force and shape as the original attack which will continue forward. If she stabs with a weapon, punches, or kicks, the force will be a tight blast that can go as far as 100 meters – because it’s a small wave, only takes a small amount of energy to create. If she makes a mid-sized, controlled slash the force wave it creates will match the arc of the slash and have a range of 50 meters, taking a about twice as much energy as the smaller attacks. A large, heavy slash will create a force wave which also matches the arc of the slash and have a range of 25 meters, requiring twice the energy of a mid-sized slash. The movement speed of the waves is related to the amount of time spent completing the attack that created them: a short stab or punch will move no faster than 30km/h, a regular slash will move no faster than 20km/h, and a heavy slash will move no faster than a slow but powerful 10km/h.

This semblance has no effect on bullets and could potentially damage transforming weapons, depending on their composition and complexity, if used with one.

Dust interactions:
Thistle can use dust to give her force wave a variety of elemental properties, such as:
Lightning: The wave will have an electrical charge to it, and shock those it hits.
Fire: Exactly what you'd expect: the wave will be on fire
Ice: The wave will appear frosty, and may freeze or chill targets that it hits
Propulsion: While having no effect on enemies, Thistle can use propulsion dust to kick of the ground in order to gain the occasional burst of speed or movement, though using this technique hurts her, weakening her aura as though she’d hit herself with the same force - it can leave her vulnerable if she doesn't plan her trajectory well.
Repulsion: The wave will have increased knockback.

Combat Behavior: In combat, Thistle attempts to close gaps as quickly as possible in order to rush down her opponents as fast as she can. She generally runs on instinct in combat, and sometimes uses her semblance as a crutch, since it lets her fall short but still land attacks on some occasions.

Her biggest issues stem from her lack of a proper ranged weapon, and the limited range and movement speed of her semblance’s longer-range attacks. Snipers and fast opponents who have good medium or long range options give the most trouble. Conversely, her semblance (especially when used with dust) allows her to hit bulkier opponents hard, and her above-average defences give her some protection against assassins and while her semblance’s limited movement option gives her a way to close the gap against slower glass cannons or support-oriented foes, it will soon burn her out and leave her critically open against anyone who can out-maneuver her.

In group combat, Thistle is always ready to rush in and take point. Her semblance’s slower movement also gives her a few options for covering fire if timed properly, though she is generally unlikely to opt for that type of attack instead of a head-on assault unless prompted. Finally, while her attitude isn’t perfectly suited to them, the fact that she doesn’t use a firearm gives her a few advantages on stealth missions.

WEAPONS

Name: Provocation’s Result

Primary Form: Provocation’s result has one form: it is a wave-bladed hand-and-a-half sword which Thistle uses both in melee combat and as the source of her semblance’s waves.

Dust Functions: Provocation’s Result has no dust functions.

History: Provocation’s Result was the final product of a long and drawn out series of failures, wherein Thitle tried and failed repeatedly to find a transforming weapon that wouldn’t break from the odd forces that her semblance exerted on them. When she finally tried a regular, non-transforming sword, it seemed to work. She took that concept and ran with it, improving upon it until she found a sword design which seemed to work best in tandem with her semblance: imagined or not, she felt she could make her attack arcs just a bit bigger with the wavy-bladed design, and so she settled on it. Provocation’s Result was born.
« Last Edit: November 04, 2018, 11:27:42 PM by smashingBrawler »
Zaffre Latya - First Year Beacon - Telepathic Relay of Team DGTL

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Re: Thistle Laine
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2018, 11:22:41 PM »
Change log:
Spoiler: ShowHide

-Fixed the bbcode goofup
-Updated the way her Semblance works to be about the waves being generated erratically rather than it destroying weapons – still a backlash, now it just hurts thistle instead of the weapon.
-Did the rephrasing
-Rephrased the section that detailed her tendency to fall short against range-focused opponents to better match what was mentioned in her personality section - with her having a tendency to go "on tilt" against such opponents.

Zaffre Latya - First Year Beacon - Telepathic Relay of Team DGTL

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Re: Thistle Laine
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2018, 12:09:32 AM »
Profile looks good overall. Just needs some tweaking.
- The semblance part might need a bit of clarification. "This semblance has no effect on bullets and could potentially damage transforming weapons, depending on their composition and complexity, if used with one." This sentence kinda sounds ambiguous in my opinion. If I understand it right, it should mention that it has the erratic effect on guns/more complex weapons if Thistle uses them to make it easier to understand.
 
The rest looks fine to me.
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