Author Topic: Martin Roja  (Read 16740 times)

OmegaX123

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Martin Roja
« on: September 18, 2016, 10:34:31 PM »
CHARACTER

Name: Martin Roja (Martin from Mars, the Roman god of war as well as the Red Planet; Roja from the Spanish word for red)

Age: 18, born 3 Klever, 62 AC

Species and Gender: Human, Male

Symbol: Crossed swords with a circular shape behind, a scar carved into the lower left quarter of the circle

Occupation: First-year student at Shade Academy

Appearance: Martin is 5'7" tall, and weighs 145lbs. His hair is blood red, spiked sharply on top and in front, and tied back in a ponytail that hangs to midway between his shoulder blades. His skin is deeply tanned, almost bronze, and his eyes are steel gray (darker than silver, he's not one of those). Sometimes, when his temper flares, you can almost see flecks of red-orange in them. He has a narrow angular face, with a thin nose, and a mouth that's almost always turned up in a confident smirk. He wears a red sleeveless shirt with intricate designs in blue and gold that lead the eye, some woven with ice Dust to keep cool in his desert home, others simple thread stitching; as well as white pants that flare out at the knee and are tied at the ankle, and a black sash tied around his waist. His feet alternate between bare and shod in simple sandals. Sometimes he wears a red cloth tied across his forehead, other times around his neck, the latter being most common in Vacuo because he can pull it up over his face in the event of a sandstorm, while the two are equally common when in other kingdoms or at the Amity Colosseum during the Vytal Festival/Tournament.

History: Martin was born and raised in the kingdom of Vacuo, where he learned at a young age to fend for himself because his father was taken from him in a random Grimm attack. From the moment he was old enough to fight, Martin begged his mother to let him enroll in Oasis Academy; finally she relented and allowed him to join. In Oasis, he showed promise, potential, but for the first two years, very little aptitude. That all changed, however, when a second Grimm attack stole his little sister from him. After that, he redoubled his efforts, applied himself even more, and began to show drastic improvement. By the end of his third year, he was displaying aptitude and talent beyond much of his class. There were still several who were better than him, though only one really bothered him: Venus Citrine. This was for two reasons - first, every time she would outpace him in a combat exercise, she would taunt him, talk like he was at the bottom of the class despite him being in the top 35%. Second, and hardest for him to admit, was because he had a crush on her.

Eventually, Martin, Venus, and most of their classmates graduated from Oasis, and the top several students were to be given an immediate recommendation at Shade. Knowing that Venus was going to be selected, as she was among the top of their class, Martin, extending a metaphorical olive branch, approached her to congratulate her. She surprised him by being the first to speak. She apologized for the way she treated him, and kissed his cheek. It was only when his friends started pushing him that he realized, stunned by Venus' reaction as he was, that his name had been called. He had been chosen for a recommendation - he may have been on the bottom of that list, but he was still on the list! He would be attending Shade Academy!

Personality: Martin puts forward a confident front, and some of it is real, especially given his history at Oasis, but for the most part, on the inside, he's still that scared little boy who begged his mother to send him to Oasis to learn to fight. He still often second-guesses himself at inopportune moments, and isn't completely sure he has what it takes to cut it at Shade. The friends he left behind haunt his thoughts, but the ones that came with him and the ones he makes as he goes through his life at Shade will strengthen him. His typical non-combat stance/posture tends to be ultra-casual, slouched posture, when not moving and there's a wall nearby he's apt to lean against it, or sit on it if it's a shorter wall.

Aura and Semblance: Martin has moderately strong Aura, to put it in easily-understandable terms it's akin to the HP of a mid-level all-rounder or a low-level tank character in an RPG. His Semblance is Illusion - He is capable of projecting illusory images with some level of tangibility, with differing properties based on Semblance Catalyst Focus use. The more illusions he projects, the weaker and less detailed/realistic they are. Producing a 1 m3 detailed/realistic illusory area (whether it's a full 1 m3 area or just an equivalent amount of illusory 'mass' in any sort of configuration) expends 3% of his Aura, and requires a slow trickle of Aura as well as moderate concentration to maintain. An equivalent 'mass'/size of less-detailed (monochrome, or more cartoonish in palette, or less 'there') costs an almost insignificant amount (around 1% or less) of Aura to cast and minimal concentration to maintain, but is far less convincing, and even less solid than the fully-detailed constructs.

Semblance Catalyst Focus: Martin wears a chain around his neck, with five bits hanging from it in various shapes. Each of these is infused with Dust in different colors - red, white, blue, pale blue, and purple.

Combat Behavior: Martin tends to alternate between reckless and overly-cautious in battle, depending on who's watching and how the rest of his day has gone. If, for example, his childhood crush happens to be nearby, he'll be more likely to try to impress her, rush off into an uneven fight, and either come back an unlikely victor or in traction. If he's had a bad day (called out in class, rejected by a girl, friends bailed on a hang-out session, etc), his low self-confidence will take over and he'll be more methodical, cautious, and plan things out to the best of his ability.

WEAPON

Name: Gradus Bellum (March of War)

Primary Form: Broadsword, with exposed gears at the point where the blade meets the guard. The blade is stained red, and the guard and hilt are black with red accents.

Secondary Form: Polearm. The guard collapses in, the hilt extends, and the blade cracks and gently curves backward.

Tertiary Form: Battle rifle. The handle collapses slightly, the guard sheathes the blade, the blade bends forward into a stock, and a grip, trigger, and foregrip emerge from the handle.

Dust Functions: In rifle mode, Gradus Bellum is capable of firing Dust cartridges to varying effect. In sword form, inserting a fire Dust cartridge causes the sword to glow red and leave a trail of heated air and fire behind it when swung. If it makes contact while this effect is active, and the target is an animal or Grimm or their Aura is depleted, it ignites the point of impact, if it breaks skin on a human, Faunus, or animal it cauterizes the wound to a degree.

History: The base form and polearm transformation was an heirloom belonging to Martin's grandfather, Martius Roja. Martin modified it himself to add the ranged capabilities and Dust interaction, shortly after entering Oasis, because he felt a need to keep up with everyone else whose weapons were also guns, aside from the ones whose base forms were guns to begin with.

(Critique away, I'll take advice into consideration and change where it needs it before posting in the 'for approval' section)
« Last Edit: September 19, 2016, 12:12:41 PM by OmegaX123 »
Martin Roja - 1st2nd-year student nosey-pants (see "Chasing Shadows" for details) of ShadeBeacon Academy (see "Under the Vacuan Stars" and "Immigration Blues" for details)

Asterisk

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2016, 10:54:00 PM »
Profile is really well put-together! We don't get a whole bunch of non-Beacon students so I'm glad to see the board starting to explore more of the world of Remnant. I'm (And a lot of other people are too) usually against putting stuff about the top member of the class if that's what you're saying for Venus, because there can only be one top of the class and if a lot of people make characters the top of the class, be they NPCs or actual characters, then it's going to cause inconsistencies throughout the forum. It's perfectly okay to say she was among the top of the class though.

For the semblance, I recommend adding a percentage-based aura cost to it, might make things easier. Just as an example, one cubic meter of realistic illusion stuff costs this some percentage of aura to create while one cubic meter of unrealistic single color illusion stuff costs some (lower) percentage of aura to create. Just a recommendation though.

Again, really well put together character and good luck on approvals!
« Last Edit: September 18, 2016, 10:56:09 PM by Asterisk »

OmegaX123

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2016, 11:10:54 PM »
Yeah, my intent with Venus was just that she was one of the top students, but the one that bugged Martin most. Good idea re: the Aura %cost thing, no idea how I'd work that out though.
Martin Roja - 1st2nd-year student nosey-pants (see "Chasing Shadows" for details) of ShadeBeacon Academy (see "Under the Vacuan Stars" and "Immigration Blues" for details)

OmegaX123

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2016, 11:25:13 PM »
I made an edit to take Asterisk's suggestion re: Aura %cost into account. I'm not sure if it's an appropriate amount, or worded well, so critique away.
Martin Roja - 1st2nd-year student nosey-pants (see "Chasing Shadows" for details) of ShadeBeacon Academy (see "Under the Vacuan Stars" and "Immigration Blues" for details)

Asterisk

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2016, 11:39:24 PM »
I say it's pretty good. Though, if he has a moderately strong aura, a lower cost would seem more appropriate than 10%. (Reference: My character Marigold is able to conjure 16 realistic tangible clones of herself with moderate amounts of aura.)

OmegaX123

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2016, 11:48:20 PM »
a lower cost would seem more appropriate than 10%.

Would halving the numbers (or at least the higher number relating to a more realistic illusion) be appropriate in your opinion? Or is that too low? Too high?
Martin Roja - 1st2nd-year student nosey-pants (see "Chasing Shadows" for details) of ShadeBeacon Academy (see "Under the Vacuan Stars" and "Immigration Blues" for details)

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2016, 11:59:13 PM »
Maybe... 2-3% for realistic?

OmegaX123

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2016, 12:12:06 AM »
Maybe... 2-3% for realistic?

Made the relevant change, plus adjusted the un-detailed version for balance. I'd welcome both yours and anyone else's who stops in critique on the numbers (and anyone's critique on everything else, though your assessment does give me some confidence).
Martin Roja - 1st2nd-year student nosey-pants (see "Chasing Shadows" for details) of ShadeBeacon Academy (see "Under the Vacuan Stars" and "Immigration Blues" for details)

OmegaX123

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2016, 11:42:48 AM »
Made a final change (unless someone has more critique that I can take into consideration), because I realized I had actually used the phrase 'top of their class' at one point when I was just intending for the NPC Venus to be one of the top students; Unless someone has anything they think I should look at/change/reconsider, I'll be posting this in the section for approval later on today.

EDIT: Also, I can't find any info about it elsewhere on the site - does anyone know if the whole Semblance Catalyst Focus thing is something we put in the bio and the admins approve or deny, or if it has to be acquired through the RP itself, or some other way?
« Last Edit: September 19, 2016, 11:46:26 AM by OmegaX123 »
Martin Roja - 1st2nd-year student nosey-pants (see "Chasing Shadows" for details) of ShadeBeacon Academy (see "Under the Vacuan Stars" and "Immigration Blues" for details)

nathan67003

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2016, 11:51:50 AM »
In the bio. Everything, regardless of wether it'll be used in RP or not, goes in the character sheet.
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OmegaX123

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Re: Martin Roja
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2016, 12:11:08 PM »
Final(?) edits made, removing 'Author's Notes' aside from ones that explain the name and weapon name origins and the one asking for critique, and adding info about SCF per the reply above this one. I'll leave this here a little longer, and barring any further suggestions or critique, this will be the finalized version that goes up in the section to wait to be approved or denied.
Martin Roja - 1st2nd-year student nosey-pants (see "Chasing Shadows" for details) of ShadeBeacon Academy (see "Under the Vacuan Stars" and "Immigration Blues" for details)